General Dance Discussion > I love my dance teacher....

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by flamingo, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. flamingo

    flamingo New Member

    hello, well, maybe is is a stipid question, but, the thing is- i well in love with my dance teacher.. :oops: (i live in russia by the way)
    I am 17, and he's older than me...He is weird, cause at one hand, he pays attention to everybody, but on the other- to nobody.. :(
    But i just don't know what to do, i want to start a conversation with him, but i am too shy and scared....So, please, can anybody give me some tips, on what to do, to make him like me...?
  2. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Oh. oh! This is a very tricky situation to give advice for. I know we had another df member, Danoo, who also had the same problem a while back. If no-one else can help I'll try to dig up that old thread later on in the day... Oh, and welcome to df flamingo. :)
  3. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    as annoying as this may sound.. just be yourself.. and letting him make the first move is always advisable .. in my point of view.. appear interested but aloof.. u know what i mean.. people dont act too well in that sort of setting (teacher-student) when the feel the other's emotional vulnerabilty to them..

    but thats just me.. so, unless this works for u.. forget what i wrote.

  4. Flat Shoes

    Flat Shoes New Member

    I would say this depends on the situation. What kind of class it is, etc.

    If this is a teacher hired by a dance-club to teach a group, he is probably bound by school rules and are not allowed to get involved with any students. In such a case it would be unprofessional of him to get to personal with the students.

    On the other hand, some group classes are very informal, and everyone belongs to the same community, and the more experienced members of the community teaches the rest. In such a case a relationship between two people in the same community would be ok.

    From what you write it appears he's avoiding getting to personal with anybody, which implies he has a professional responsibility to avoid this. If that is the case, you might have to quit his classes in order to avoid accusations of him using his position as teacher to get involved with the female students.

    If this is not the case, treat him like you would treat any other person you have an interest in, and would like to get to know closer. I cannot tell you how to do that. Different persons have different ways of doing this. You should find your way.
  5. dTas

    dTas New Member

    you do have to watch out for club rules. most of the time it is frowned upon for teachers to get romanticly involved with their students. that would be your biggest hurdle to get over.

    on the relationship side... you need to find out if he's interested in you. unfortunately since you are a student it may be very difficult to do this. you may have to leave the studio, and go to another studio somewhere else, but keep contact somehow, in order to find out if he has any feeling towards you.
  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

  7. Danoo

    Danoo New Member

    thanks for that .... :p
    i still love her but i talk to her now :)
    she does not know but all the dances i have with her are the best of the night :)
  8. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    There you are!! Perhaps you and flamingo and chat about your experiences and help each other out?
  9. Swingolder

    Swingolder New Member

    I am sorry, flamingo, but the mother in me has to ask how much older?
  10. flamingo

    flamingo New Member

    thank you all very much for the replies!! i'll probably try something tomorrow, maybe, if i can..... i have also been wondering, if i speak with him after the dance class, what should i say..? and SHould i speak or wait..?
    i'm not sure how old he is :? but maybe 20-25
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Oh flamingo. My heart aches for you. :(
  12. flamingo

    flamingo New Member

    pygmalion.., you have no idea... :cry:
  13. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    I think maybe we are making a mistake to already look at the problems of student-teacher relationships. The initial post seemed to say that she had not yet really been able to have much of a conversation with the teacher. Learning to be comfortable talking with the teacher seems like such an important first step, even to just being a dance student.

    Dancing itself is very much a play on superficial feelings of attraction - if there were none, dancing wouldn't be what it is. But it's only by getting to know someone that you know if there is just the hint of feeling that makes dancing enjoyable, or if there are the kinds of real feelings that would change your relationship with them. Even when there turns out to be nothing behind the feelings, the experience of living (and dancing) through their brief story is an important part of life.

    So the thing to do right now is to concentrate on dancing and get to know the teacher. Really listen to what he says, and try to do what he asks. Ask questions that show your are interested in what he is saying.
  14. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Great advice, Chris. 8)
  15. Swingolder

    Swingolder New Member

    Sorry, I asked but sometimes here where I work (at a university) students get captivated with their instructors and they are SO much older, they are not being realistic in their feelings.

    Is there someone else in the class to talk with about him with? that would know if he was even available?
  16. flamingo

    flamingo New Member

    thank you, Chris, i'll try..
    Swingolder, i understand, and i don't know if he's available, but it seems like everybody is so concentrated on themselves, no one really talks with each other.. :?
  17. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    So tell us about your dancing some while you wait. It sounds like you are taking group classes - are these in a studio, a club? What type of dancing?

    Your comment about everyone being very self-oriented is interesting. I see that sometimes here in the US, but often a group of people (either just students, or sometimes teachers and staff as well) really become close - go out for food after dancing, sit together at competitions, etc. Is this a very new group where that sort of comraderie has not yet developed? Or is that just not a part of the dancing culture where you are?
  18. flamingo

    flamingo New Member

    Well, it's something mixed, here they call it jazz-modern, but there is also some ballet, and some other types.. I guess it's nice that everyone becomes so close, my sister in Canada says the same thing, it's not like that here, in Russia. Everyone just comes to the dance class, and when it's over, goes home.. it's not only on the dancing i go to, its like that at most of the places..
  19. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    So this is individual or esnemble, rather than partner dancing?
  20. flamingo

    flamingo New Member

    Well there is like 10-15 people in a group, but individual..

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