General Dance Discussion > I love my dance teacher....

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by flamingo, Dec 16, 2004.

  1. standardgirl

    standardgirl New Member

    No, it is not possible, because he is not interested in women, and we, his friends and students, all know that for a fact. This is also the reason why I feel so bad.......I don't even understand why he acts like he is in love with his female students. He does tell me so often about how beautiful he think I am though.....
    I am not hurt as of right now. I am just a bit sad since I know that nothing is possible. I almost cried the day after going out with him.
     
  2. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Oh my goodness!

    I think I understand better, now. The only dance teacher I've ever had who truly broke my heart was gay. It wasn't sexual at all ... not on my side or his. But I cared for him deeply as a friend, and it broke my heart when I realized that all of the "friendship" he gave me was actually aimed at getting me to buy lessons. Oh man. :(
    Anyway ...

    This teacher of yours probably isn't a self-serving bad guy in the way my former teacher was. But still, my heart goes out to you. There are all kinds of love/feelings between two people. And all kinds of hurt that can happen.

    Please, please be careful. But, at the same time, live. :? 8) Just because he's a dance teacher and your friend doesn't mean he's a bad guy. A lot of people have successful friendships with their teachers or coaches.

    I wonder what instinct in you is making you want to cry after going out with this teacher. Whatever that is, listen to yourself and get to the bottom of it. Please. Okay? 8)

    Okay. I'm back to impersonal moderator mode now. :oops: :wink:
     
  3. standardgirl

    standardgirl New Member

    That second day, I knew I had fallen in love with him, for the first time ever. It's a strong feeling, even stronger when my ex-boyfriend and I were dating. But at the same time, I know it's not possible. Even though it is just one night going out, and everything will go back when I see him at the studio again. I could only wish things are possible.....what else could I do.....that's why
     
  4. labelledanseuse

    labelledanseuse New Member

    I think my teacher might be one of those people that acts really flirty and boisterous just to get lessons. I've noticed that he acts that way with everybody, though... even with people who are taking lessons with teachers other than himself. So maybe it's just his personality. Well, whatever it is... I've fallen for it, unfortunately. :oops: :oops:
     
  5. labelledanseuse

    labelledanseuse New Member

    :cry: :cry: :cry:
     
  6. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    [Cher] Snap out of it! [/Cher]
     
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Joe has a point. A Dr. Laura kind of point, but a point. It might be best in the long run (dare I say it?) to just get out of there. Find another teacher or even another studio. The feelings will subside in time. But if you stay, your feelings (and your hurt) may only deepen. :?
     
  8. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    The way I see it, you have two choices. Stay, and your heart will be broken. Get out, and your heart will be broken. But which one gives you more control over the process?

    Good luck, Rosa.
     
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Wow. Well said, Rosa. 8)

    Welcome to the forums. :D
     
  10. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    Never fell in love with any of my female dance teachers, nor do I know about any fellow male student having fallen.
     
  11. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    Ps That was sparked off by what pygmalion said and I am so glad I have joined a forum where there are so many wise people about!
     
  12. Swingolder

    Swingolder New Member

    Life is certainly complicated! Having gone through some tough times, I think it would have helped to have someplace to anonymously write out my thoughts and feelings and get advice and, mostly sympathy, from someplace like df.
     
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Yes. I have been through a couple crises where using DF as a sounding board has helped me tremendously. As you say, swingolder, the advice helps a bit. But the sympathy and the validation help me the most. 8)

    Not that I'm exactly anonymous, mind you. :wink: :lol: But DFers are a lot more dispassionate than say, my Mom would be. She'd say,"Jennifer, you do what I say, right now." LOL. And the worst part is that she'd check up to make sure I did. Gotta love Mom.
     
  14. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    We are the lovey-dovey forum of cookies and support! :D :D :together:

    Falling for your teacher is damn easy, unfortunately, for the following reasons:
    -it's dancing, and that means close body contact, etc. (said all that before to flamingo)
    -he (I can only speak for males) is usually a very smooth/passionate/amazing/charming dancer and sweeps us off our feet,
    -he is leading. We women are stangely submissive sometimes. Has something to do with insecurity and that Prince Charming complex,
    -(K.O. cherry on the top): if he's a good/funny/cute,etc. guy generally, and not only on the dancefloor. Then, you have very strong chances of falling.
    Striking example (I'll give you three guesses. If you have been reading my posts, you know the answer):
    My salsa teacher. (I can't hear the collective gasps, guys!) Well, I was THIS close to falling. Still am. He's... indescribable. Amazing guy, amazing dancer... Plus, he's my type. Never really had a type, but if I did, he'd be IT. I was swept off my feet the first few weeks. Then the initial shock faded away. Then I got to dance with him more often and...*swoon*
    Dance teachers. Sometimes, they can cause so much angsty romance.

    Twilight Elena
     
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    :lol: :lol: You crack me up. And I want my cookies. :wink: :lol:
     
  16. labelledanseuse

    labelledanseuse New Member

    lol. :lol: I am now a victim of this phenomena for the second time. I no longer have a crush on MY teacher (the "initial shock" finally faded away... after a few months :roll: ), but now I have a small crush on yet ANOTHER teacher at my studio. *sighs* I didn't think I had a type either, until now. I seem to be falling for guys with the same characteristics: cute dancers who are in their early 20s. :raisebro:
    My friends say I'm going to end up marrying a dance teacher. :lol: 8)
     
  17. randomMysh

    randomMysh New Member

    Do dance crushes on teachers count? The kind that make you really happy on the dance floor, but don't really add any angst to the off-dance floor life?
    I have one of those, and it's a good feeling. Too bad he's so darn expensive. *sigh*
    Oh well, graduating in May, maybe l'll have an actual job with a salary at some point, :shock: and a certain NY area teacher will have yet another giddy student! :roll: :lol: :bouncy:
     
  18. love2swing

    love2swing New Member

    I still have the biggest dance crush ever on a fellow dance instructor. I had a huge dance crush on him while I was a student and even now that we work together and I can dance with him anytime I want it's still there. I dunno-- when we get out on the floor it's pure bliss. Sure, he's great to be around off the floor too-- but off the floor I feel nothing. On the floor however, to use Renee Joan's s terminology, is BTS. :D

    Does anyone else notice that a guy who can dance well instantly shoots up in the attractiveness department or is this just me?
     
  19. chachachacat

    chachachacat Well-Known Member

    It's not just you, it's a phenomenon.
     
  20. Rosa

    Rosa New Member

    DON'T marry a dance teacher! :shock: You'll spend your life watching him hold other women in his arms... and they'll be paying him for it, too.
     

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