General Dance Discussion > Im a girl, and dont know how 2 dance

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by alli105, May 5, 2004.

  1. alli105

    alli105 New Member

    I'm going to my boyfriends's prom in a couple of weeks, and I dont know how to dance. I feel awkward when I try to dance and I look like a complete dumbass. Can someone please help me?
  2. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Hi alli105 and welcome to the DF! Check out this index for several threads that may be of help... :D
  3. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Welcome to df alli105!! Glad to have you with us and please do check out the link that SD provided. It has helped many people. If you have specific questions after going through the topics provided through that link I would be happy to help you take your dancing further.
  4. DevilsBSD

    DevilsBSD New Member

    From newbie to newbie, hi! :D I'll go ahead and list the sites that I've found most helpful in my two days here. - the free lessons are pretty good. Unfortunately, I couldn't download the videos to my hard drive for later viewing. - I like the text descriptions here(!!!), and it separates the guy and girl parts. Nice videos, but the contrast in the bustamove videos is better. I managed to download the videos in these by viewing source and using wget (i use Linux, Windows users can probably use a download utility like GetRight) to pull the .mov file from the server - More videos, for reinforcement.

    Our prom is this Saturday, but I think I'm getting the basic idea of how this works. Still not sure how to lead, but that's the guy's job usually. If you know the basic steps, and the guy knows how to lead (aka not me), you should be able to naturally perform the proper moves.

    All right, you experienced dancers out there, bring on the flames :)
  5. alli105

    alli105 New Member

    thanks you guys 8)
    but I get really nervous even when I try to dance in my own room.. help! :cry:
  6. splithorizon852

    splithorizon852 New Member

    Come over my house, I could use some more experience too.
  7. youngsta

    youngsta Active Member

    alli that's the key to dancing, becoming comfortable with yourself and the way you move. I know you don't really have the time now because the prom is so close, but put some music on and just dance. Do what the music 'tells' you to do. Some things will feel silly, but the key is becoming comfortable in your own skin. That's the only way you can really become good.
  8. Flat Shoes

    Flat Shoes New Member

    Relax, feel the music and do small stuff. You don't need to be all out there doing a lot of 'look at me'-fancy stuff. That's the stuff that need experience to look good. Just cool down to the music, relax and enjoy it.

    And, this is the most important: Smile, laugh, look your boyfriend into his eyes and flirt. He will love you for it.

    And you should read around this place. There are several threads helping beginners. Even if you don't want to grind, read the grinding threads too. General good advice can still be found.
  9. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    I'm piping in because I had spent most of my life (much longer than our entire lifetime) unable to hear "what the music is telling me to do" and for decades I found that advice to be the most annoying and frustrating thing that a dancer could tell me. That advice only branded me genetically incapable of having any sense of rhythm and incapable of ever learning to dance.

    But it's not true. A sense of rhythm is something that we develop. Of course, some people start to develop it from early childhood and so seem to have it naturally, while others (such as myself) don't start until much later, even well into their adulthood. But it can still be developed. And with it (plus with the experience of actually dancing) comes the ability to hear "what the music is telling me to do". The only hopeless cases are the ones who give up right away.

    So if you feel that you can't hear it either, don't despair. It finally came to me and it will come to you too. The key is to keep dancing and to keep trying to hear it.

    Of course, if you can already hear it, then that's great!

    You would probably want to experiment in your room to start with. Play a song that has a regular beat (the drum, usually) that you can hear clearly. Pick a comfortable rate.

    You could try at first to shift your weight from one foot to the other in time to the music. Basically, one weight-shift for each pair of beats (called an down-beat and an up-beat -- I'll let the more expert ones here explain it). When you feel comfortable with one song, try it with another.

    When you feel comfortable with weight-shifting, then try a simple step. Again, the experts here can no doubt recommend a better one, here's a basic step my wife showed me once. Remember this basic rule that applies to all dances: a step means that you have shifted your weight from one foot to the next; a tap means that you have moved your weight-free foot, but do not transfer the weight. OK, on the down-beat, step to the left, then on the up-beat bring your right foot next to your left and tap, then on the down-beat step to the right and on the up-beat bring your left foot next to your right and tap. Then repeat. You don't need to lift your foot high, just enough to allow it to move, unless the feel of the music calls for it. Step onto the ball of the foot instead of the heel. And don't stomp, unless the music calls for it.

    Did you notice that the weight shifts were the same? And when you slow-dance in closed position (he's holding you), then it's the same basic rhythm as with the weight shifts. From his body's movement, you will know which foot to put your weight on and when (that's known as "following"). Just be aware if he starts to turn or to move in a particular direction that you'll need to move your free foot accordingly.

    And you should be able to ask for some coaching from your female friends who know at least a little dancing. It's easier to learn by seeing and doing than be reading a description. And your friends might be tempted to show you a really cool move, but insist that they really help you with the basics; the cool moves last for only a few seconds, but you do most of the dance with the basics.

    And relax and have fun with it. Don't worry about making mistakes, because everybody does. And if you start to feel frustrated, don't let that stop you. I still get frustrated with my dancing, but I also know that the only way I'm going to improve is to keep dancing.
  10. Genesius Redux

    Genesius Redux New Member

    Hi Alli!

    Welcome to df! 8)

    You're just nervous because it's "the Prom." Everybody gets nervous about it. Your boyfriend is probably nervous. Read the advice on all the threads, try to count to the music and then move to it. Then when you go to the Prom, just have fun.

    Have a ball, kiddo--how many other nights do your parents let you stay out all night long? :wink:

    Best wishes,

  11. alli105

    alli105 New Member

    thanks.. but how do I know when to move/??? I cant even tell the beats apart, and I have no clue when to do what..? I'm so so nervous and freaked out.

    :? :shock:

    do people actually freak dance at PROM??? and how?? like the dresses are poofy and stuff..?
  12. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Stop thinking about when to move. Just start moving, from side to side. If you are offbeat, by just letting yourself sway or move from one foot to another you should gradually synchronize to the music without trying. Do this often enough at home and you'll always be on beat or anyway almost all the time. Take it from someone who could neevr start and as a leader I have to. Now I just sway a bit to become one with the music and I'm off.

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