Tango Argentino > "I'm Learning Tango." And They Imagine?...

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by v22TTC, Sep 2, 2010.

  1. Nathan

    Nathan Member

    I agree 100% with this, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who's having a hard time trying to understand! I can't even begin to speculate about what's going on here because it's so far outside my own experiences. My one thought to add is that maybe you're being too sensitive/serious about these matters, v22TTC. There's nothing I've seen here that a smile and a little well-placed humor couldn't defuse. You could also try giving less information... either that you're going dancing, or even just going out for a night on the town!
     
  2. v22TTC

    v22TTC New Member

    OK, still appreciating the irony of having been so unclear, the (herein) quoted post was intended to clarify my first (which included a title) - not stand on its own, as Angel HI was 'await[ing] clarification'.

    Is a preamble, attempting to show that I am asking the question (in the OP) seriously, and will really value answers. For the record, this event did not involve Tango in any way [since it isn't 'social' in the same sense as 'my social life' is to me, it was insulated].

    Some of these people live near me (a very hard and unpleasant area); or frequent a social venue (nothing to do with dance) where I am attempting to rebuild a new social life, which is pretty student-centric, so fairly 'right-on'/pseudo-political etc, where being thought of as the kind of guy who would be attracted to a brutal (to women, presumably) dance, would be just about the worst thing ever.

    This has taken me by surprise, I will not start watching TV (to get a better idea of what's going through their heads when they hear 'Tango'), but I hoped that some of the forum members who might watch TV or/and have more experience in such conversations might be able to help me get a better idea of random folks' mental images (which will, of course be a broad cross-section of mental images, according to folks' broad 'types') re 'Tango'.

    In Sun Tzu terms: I know myself; I know the 'opponent' (generally); but am lacking intel about the (perceptual/ideological) battlefield. [Therefore, am likely to lose, in some way.]

    Yes, where there's time to discuss Tango, it's all good; but where there isn't, then I'm leaving having left some incorrect - and possibly damaging (to me) - idea floating around behind me (but still attached to me and that venue), and people have been known to talk behind others' backs - sometimes with a little extra embroidery thrown in - with misperceptions massively re-inforced in the process....

    As it happens, the 'rougher' folks seem to have a much more 'positive' reaction/perception (but only to the specific dances of 'Tango' or 'Salsa': certainly not 'dance', where I get the opposite reaction) than the more 'studenty' folks (who are fine with 'dance' and 'Salsa' but not 'Tango') - though I didn't want to pre-empt anyone else's (here) flowing discussion by mentioning this.

    [Incidentally, I'd really like to ask another question that relates to how 'Tango' is perceived, involving a pretty established Tango 'movement', that relates to the previous paragraph but....]

    This post is intended to provide clarification (well, you never know...:p) only.

    Again, thanks everybody for your input and practical advice.:)
     
  3. Lilly_of_the_valley

    Lilly_of_the_valley Well-Known Member

    The truth is, you cannot please everyone. People who are more mind like and can potentially become your friends, will eventually understand and accept you for who you are. If one has a prejudice against your pass-time, based upon erroneous ideas, and is not open to education, perhaps, it is for the better that such a person stays away from you.

    This thread made me remember something from my ballroom time. My coach, a beautiful 40+ woman, a world class competitor in the past and adjudicator in the present, a thriving studio owner, a great instructor, smart, respectable, happily married on top, successful any possible way you look at it, told me when Dancing with the Stars began on TV: "Thanks to that show(!) my parents finally(!!) recognized that I have been doing something worthwhile with my life". Aaarrrgggh. Go figure.
     
  4. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    Ok... I realize that there may be a time constraint in the conversations and lengthy expositions on the basics of tango and it's various histories may not be possible.. But it seems to me that if you have time to say "I do Argentine Tango in my spare time" then you have the time to add a brief statement along the lines of:

    "One thing I really love about it as a social dance is that both partners contribute equally to the dance in a way that isn't true of some other dance styles including other types of 'tango' "

    Or... to combine the 2 statements:

    "I do a traditional social style of Argentine Tango as a hobby. The thing I really love about it is that both partners contribute equally to the dance in a way that isn't true of some other dance styles including other types of 'tango' that most people are familiar with"

    If you really don't have time to say that, then do you really have time to have even brought it up in the first place?

    Here's an even briefer edit:

    "I do social tango dancing which I love because both partners contribute equally to the dance in a way that isn't true of other dance styles"

    Then the other person has the opportunity to ask more if they want, but they can hardly go away from that one statement thinking you are a beast.

    (please no arguments on whether this is or isn't true of other dance styles, or the extent to whether it's true of AT or any of the various sidetracks on follower hijacks of the lead for equal input, or what "social" style tango is, blah, blah, blah... I'm just trying to help the OP find words that won't give the wrong impression of what he's doing based on pre-conceptions in his listener)
     
  5. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    You what? What "scene" do you think has "substance" and is "weighty" then? Are we talking about salsa maybe? Or art classes? Hehe ... tried both and I can assure you that any friendships I got out of those were a lot less "substantial" than the ones out of tango.

    Naturally if you're lucky to have family near you and a bunch of great work colleagues that's fine. But not all of us are in that lucky position...
     
  6. spectator

    spectator Member

    you need to meet people from a different degree course. ime physical scientists are a bit more open minded and curious.
     
  7. little hobo

    little hobo New Member

    You're not Ken Mehlman are you?
     
  8. v22TTC

    v22TTC New Member

    Zoopsia (and others who've suggested similar): Yes, that's quite a graceful approach - I should probably start doing that... shame it's necessary but, oh well....

    BTW, you couldn't just do me a little favour and edit off that smiley in your quote could you, since there wasn't one, there, in the bit you quoted?

    It could easily lead to misunderstanding....:p
     
  9. v22TTC

    v22TTC New Member

    Ah, what can you do - the door's open and anyone can just wander in....


    Feeling more like Job (but without the happy ending)....;)
     
  10. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    Done.. the smiley was probably at the end of your post that I quoted, and whenever I try to delete smileys next to the brackets, I grab some of the formatting stuff as well and have to put it back in. So I've started leaving them.
     
  11. v22TTC

    v22TTC New Member

    Cheers - wouldn't normally be so precious... just that one specifically gave me an 'Oh no...' sinking feeling....
     
  12. v22TTC

    v22TTC New Member

    Little Hobo: Why I oughta!...:lol:
     
  13. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Two out of three? ;)
     
  14. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    And this explains why you like like your avatar? What have you been eating? :lol:
     
  15. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    Isnt this any oxymoron?

    and i would describe these qualities more prevalent in blues dancing or modern jive..

    another contradiction; eg tango and hobby
     
  16. Zoopsia59

    Zoopsia59 Well-Known Member

    BTM... didn't you read my entire post to get to this part:

    "(please no arguments on whether this is or isn't true of other dance styles, or the extent to whether it's true of AT or any of the various sidetracks on follower hijacks of the lead for equal input, or what "social" style tango is, blah, blah, blah... I'm just trying to help the OP find words that won't give the wrong impression of what he's doing based on pre-conceptions in his listener)"

    Troublemaker.
     
  17. spectator

    spectator Member

    no it's what moving to Saint Dizier for work has done to me. If only I were a physical scientist.....
     
  18. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    :LOL:

    Perhaps you should play to the pre-conceptions of the listener...and since truth is not an issue

    "I dance a social form of tango for the torrid affairs, wild sex in car parks and of course the tea and cakes, which are always of a higher quality than at other dance styles"
     
  19. v22TTC

    v22TTC New Member

    Probably doesn't help that I happen to look pretty much exactly like the media-cliché tanguero, including how I dress... I mean, I always did, but I've got an excuse now....:cool:

    Been spreading the word though... would be surprised if at least a couple of them didn't start coming to classes before too much longer....

    Spectator: By the way, since folks are chatting about your avatar; is that Paul Bonner's art?
     
  20. jfm

    jfm Active Member

    make sure you wear a hat. Car parks can be cold.
     

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