Tango Argentino > Isn't Tango appropriate for married men or women ?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Green, Oct 20, 2006.

  1. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    I'd say it is time to have a very open discussion with the wife.

    Explain to her that you have a topic you'd like to review with her, and that you hadn't come forward previously becasue you were concerned/fearful about how she would feel about it. Explain that it is important to have her support, and it is time to share with her a new activity that you are enjoying.
  2. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    Maybe this is ok in Argentina, but there are other places in the world that this is not ok. ;)
  3. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    Perhaps the concept of honesty needs to be introduced. ;)
  4. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    Ok, so it seems like you are working your way towards having her fully informed. Sounds good to me. :cool:
  5. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    I like this idea.

    Just remember to be patient with her and let the instructor teach her rather then you. Let her slowly work into AT over the next 6 months. Don't be in a rush or she might stop taking lessons.
  6. delamusica

    delamusica Active Member

    :-| Well, to each their own, I suppose . . . but I sincerely hope I don't end up married to someone who thinks like you.
  7. Ampster

    Ampster Active Member

    My wife and I dance AT. We both know how intimate IT is, and we got over that fact that, in order for AT to work, you have to be in close embrace.

    So, as so many people do here in Seattle, we go to milongas and dance with other people, practice on them, and come together later in the evening and enjoy each other's embrace.

    That's how my wife and I do this... the rest, is up to you. :D
  8. Neil

    Neil Member

    So, it's been a couple weeks now, what finally happened?

    Personally, it sounds like you're making too big a deal out of the dance position. I wouldn't assume that she should be concerned about it. I wouldn't try to keep it a secret. Just mention AT in casual conversation. Even suggest that she might want to try some classes too because it's such a nice dance and it would be nice to dance it together too. Leave it at that.

    My wife doesn't like AT much. She isn't opposed to me dancing it per se, but she doesn't like us being apart in the evening. I haven't been able to find any lunch time milongas anywhere in Miami.
  9. JTh

    JTh Member

    I understand your concern but disagree somewhat. AT does not have to be intimate if you do not want it to be.
    Nothing wrong in having a wide open embrace. Don't need to get in the closed embrace if you feel uncomfortable.
    Tell your wife that you dance in an open embrace and have no intimate moves in your routine.
    Failing that..like a poster above said, remove your wedding ring at the milonga and burn the floor with closed deeply connected embraces.
  10. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Perhaps it hadn't got to do with tango or close embrace. The opener's wife used to dance ballroom, and honestly, the standard hold is much more intimate than the argentine hold, isn't it?
  11. rain_dog

    rain_dog Active Member

    You know you're replying to a ten-year-old post, right? It'd be remarkable if he was still here, trying to figure out what to tell his wife...
  12. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    Ten years - that's quite a long time.
    Me and most of my dance partners are singled since only three years in average, I suppose. :cool:
  13. sixela

    sixela Well-Known Member

    Then what would be the point? You can't have a decent dance without _some_ form of intimacy between the partners. Does it need to be threatening to a relationship? No. The whole point is that it's intimate but that it's intimate for just 12 minutes.

    BTW, what's an "intimate move"? To me it ain't the mohves [sic] that makes it intimate.
  14. JTh

    JTh Member

    i mean no moves that involve lots of bodily contact ( other than hands- and that too not wandering hands:))
    Yes agreed that intimacy is what in my opinion separates the dance from other forms of dance; but you dont want to tell your wife that if it threatens the relationship ( should not be but may depending on individuals)..so just say you dance at a distance, with no moves that involve bodily contact.
    just be sure to take off your wedding ring at the milonga :) ..and make sure she does not catch you there, and that too without the wedding ring!
    i make such an excellent marriage counsellor..:)
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2017
  15. itwillhappen

    itwillhappen Active Member

    I think many dancer or even viewers will have to give themselves the question: "When did I get embraced in such a way at home the last time?"
    And may be that's the beginning of the end...
    Mladenac likes this.
  16. newbie

    newbie Well-Known Member

    The original post was long ago. In the meantime, the issue must have been settled.
  17. Gssh

    Gssh Well-Known Member

    so many people who are gone now in this thread *sigh*
  18. JTh

    JTh Member

    yes, even though its an old thread the question is very relevant even today and experienced by many recent dancers im sure...
  19. Mladenac

    Mladenac Well-Known Member

    I think it is not. Unless evolution is not working. :)
  20. jantango

    jantango Active Member

    Tango is an intimate dance. That's what makes it different from all the others. The embrace is unique.

    I melted during the Di Sarli tanda last night in the arms of a married man who shared his heart with me. We both love Di Sarli. It was my last tanda of the night, but I had no need to dance again. We shared 12 minutes of intimacy in the music, and that was enough.
    Lois Donnay, dchester and opendoor like this.

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