Salsa > Ladies....some tips to help you get more invitation to the dance floor

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by princeghana, Jun 24, 2013.

  1. princeghana

    princeghana New Member

    Nice article


     

    Attached Files:

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  2. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I like 11 and 12, though those will come from being comfortable with the salsa style you dance and what they play. Meh.

    The rest... some of them are absolutely stupid. Wear what you want. Smile. Mingle. Be friendly with everyone. Carry on with your girlfriends. ASK MEN TO DANCE. Dance when you're standing alone, dance with your girlfriends, dance with beginners and pros, and strangers. Be a force of nature. Don't follow any rules, and don't stand around waiting for something to happen to you.
     
  3. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    "Add a touch to your words"... this misogynistic fantasy is, fortunately, not representative of the way people interact these days in our dance world. Maybe in Da Club, does a woman have to "not look at a man when he approaches" or "stand apart from the other women", but any woman who acted like this at a local social would be laughed at.
     
  4. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    that may play in Ghana

    but not in the us of A
     
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    uh yea...unless I am in a club and I am also implying more, I am not going up to a guy, touching him, and saying "I want to dance with you"...in fact, I have done considerably less (like nothing)and had to beat a few away with a stick...very few women who are only in it for the dancing are going to appropriate that approach...though I appreciate your sincere attempt to be helpful
     
  6. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    The original post is a verbatim quote from a salsa website; I read it several years ago, decided a few pieces of its advice were useful, filed the rest of it under "meh", and moved on. Wish I could remember which website it was.

    eta: OK, not verbatim. The original essay did not mention Ghana.
     
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  7. snapdancer

    snapdancer Well-Known Member

    Try #19 on me, probably will end up on my mental "avoid" list, or have me heading for the door. Didn't go there for that.
     
  8. Don Silver

    Don Silver Member

    BTW - Little of this applies to ladies who are on a board like this, simply because anybody who reads and follows these types of forums are usually more established dancers.

    If you're established you can do anything you wish, wear what you want (I don't agree on his specific clothing specs...), stand with others, stand by yourself or ignore all these rules and you'll still have plenty of dances.

    That said, some of it applies to the newer dancers who are not already part of the scene.

    I wrote a similar article about 6 years ago (then revised it for my book). I find it strange but it's actually my most popular article and gets tons of links/forwards (and the blog gets over 100,000 page views a year, I think other articles are much better, but I see the stats...)

    In other words, some people like it and send it to other dance friends.

    I get tons of positive feedback from newer dancers, and established dancers tend to hate that I recommend a newer dancer consider their clothing choices. It's a real issue if you're unknown or newer in a scene.

    I could just reprint here but frankly people on these types of forums are not the intended audience.

    (I thought the OP was a little presumptuous, assuming that info was news to most here...)

    For those who care, here's the link:
    unlikelysalsero.com/2007/05/why-dont-guys-ask-me.html
     
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yes, some of the advice is good, that being said, some of it could send the wrong signal...all I'm saying
     
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  10. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Good points, Don.

    And it took me several years to let it all go and feel free to do whatever I want. I don't feel as free anywhere else as when I'm dancing at my favorite latin club, but I remember being very nervous and trying to follow or figure out the rules.
     
  11. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    do you bring your lasso??:eek:
     
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  12. Don Silver

    Don Silver Member


    I was recently talking with a lady who almost never sits down in our LA clubs who also travels for business.

    She said when she is home, she regularly does as she pleases, but when she travels and is an unknown she gets more dances when she pays attention to the details like her attire, attitude and location.

    I've heard quite a few of those stories over the years. First impressions matter more IF you're newer, dramatically less when you're in the scene already.

    It applies to us guys too. I'll get turned down more in a new club. Not complaining, it's a short term thing and it turns around quickly. I'm sure the same thing for most ladies on this forum. Most of you can do whatever you wish and it work fine.

    Not the same for some newer dancers.
     
  13. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member


    I agree and this applies to all dance environments. If a person is an established dancer that goes to a new location, it's very important to be seen dancing on the floor. It's very easy for a lady to be mobbed by the beginner men and never be noticed by the good dancers. Observe who are the good dancers and who are the intermediate dancers. If the good ones are always busy, start off by asking an intermediate man to dance. Even if the good ones are all dancing, they will still notice you on the floor. Eventually, one will come and ask you for a dance and you'll never sit down for the rest of the night.
     
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  14. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Yep. I entered my scene in June of 2009. I was going to one venue exclusively, then started going everywhere, every night, in late September 2010.
    Which brings me to this observation... Sadly, when you are out every night, people grow disinterested. I would go out 11 nights in a row without a break, and wonder why I wasn't getting dances, when I perceived that my dancing was constantly improving, if only in small ways.
    I remember an instructor telling me that the reason I wasn't getting asked to dance was because I was just always around. He advised me to come out less so as to create some mystery about myself.
    At first I was offended. I was the most active person in my salsa scene, I supported everyone's venues, didn't play favorites, etc.
    But I was just always there, and not being very sociable, because in my mind, I was only interested in dancing, and everyone says "shut up and dance" - in other words, don't get caught up in drama!
    I have since learned two things: I will have a much better time if I limit myself to one or two salsa nights a week, and don't become predictable. And that I have a ton more fun when I socialize with everyone, ask everyone, and never sit out a dance, than I did when I was only out to improve my dancing by dancing with the best dancers in the room. I feel like this is a rookie mistake. You're never above dancing with anyone.

    I have never been a guest to a new salsa scene, however I've seen people come in to ours for a weekend or a week at a time. You do better to meet one very nice person (maybe do it through a forum) and have them introduce you to people. We had a young lady come in to our scene, visiting a man who lives here, whom she met at a congress. She came in, confident as can be, very bold on the dance floor, always the first one out, always asking every guy in the place, smiling at everyone, talking to everyone. I remember thinking she was a total showoff. I got a bad taste in my mouth, as did many. I feel like it's better to sneak in quietly under the radar. Your social circle and dance circle will expand with time, but expect it to happen slowly.
     
  15. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    Wow, it boggles my mind that a woman with enthusiasm, a smile, and great social skills give s a bad taste... in any other situation, dance or real world, this person would be considered quite a catch. I would advise anyone coming into a new dance scene to do exactly what she did -
     
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  16. Mr 4 styles

    Mr 4 styles Well-Known Member

    send her to my town!! ill wear her out!! I love confident women who ask me to dance

    when I salsa in an unknown scene I ask the average dancers first ... show them a great time.. they smile laugh and then the really good ones ask me..

    dudes hate me LMAOOOO
     
  17. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I would. But women are so touchy. My city is very humble and this person stood out like a sore thumb. She would not stand out in NYC or Chicago or Miami or LA.
     
  18. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    IMHO, she did that for the men not the women lol. I'm sure all the men saw her and loved it and ll the women felt upstaged.
     
  19. Don Silver

    Don Silver Member

    I'm with the others here...

    Her smiling, talking to everyone, being bold is a huge win for her and most guys are happy about it, even though some people will be bothered at first.

    A new person who is bold or someone rapidly growing will almost always ruffle some feathers, because a few others who have been in the scene a while will be bothered by the attention she gets.
    And frankly, some of the people bothered would be just as bothered a month later when she was getting lots of attention even if she started a little quieter.

    Around 4 years ago I wrote about this concept about growing in your scene. I suspect the same thing happens for the new person who pops in and starts getting noticed, for whatever reason (friendly, social, strong dancer, etc.)
    www. unlikelysalsero.com/2009/02/better-dancer-more-peer-critics.html
     
  20. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    Apparently only to the women that she upstaged.
     
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