Salsa > Ladies, what do you look for in guys when you dance?

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by genEus, May 22, 2006.

  1. salsa es mi vida

    salsa es mi vida New Member

    For me the most important thing is that i am looked after(not bumped into another coulple),qulity not quantity.
  2. salsa es mi vida

    salsa es mi vida New Member

    Just relised it's couple.That's how you spell it. :)
  3. sambanada

    sambanada Active Member

    Connection and chemistry.
  4. englezul

    englezul New Member

    FUN! That's all you need to be. You need to be there 100% and genuinely have a blast. Timing, hardcore patterns, advanced body motion...neither of these are required when you're having fun.

    You make sure you're having fun first before worrying if she's having fun. Resolving that problem guarantees she will have a great time. So don't ask yourself "what does she want", "what does she look for". Irrelevant. Take a chance, run the show and bring her along.
  5. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    Well....I love fun - and no, you don't need advanced technique to have a good time - but for me, dancing off time is most definitely NOT fun. Maybe to clown around and 'bad dance' for jokes, but not for salsa.

    Also, I have danced with a few guys who thought it was 'fun' to push me all over the place or crank me through too many turns. Not that they were trying to show me a bad time - I think it was just lack of knowledge on their part. So, yes, a fun attitude, but take lessons as well.
  6. Rugby

    Rugby Member

    If he's built like the guys from 300 and has a face like Adonis I don't care how he dances.
    Just kidding......kind of. :p
  7. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    I'd much MUCH rather dance with a fat old ugly man who leads well and has a sense of fun and musicality than an adnis who rips your arms off your shoulders!
  8. Rugby

    Rugby Member

    Ripping the arms out, naw, me neither, but better than when the fat old ugly man rips out your arms. I had my right one almost dislocated by one this past spring. I still can't turn my head all the way to the right. An Adonis sweeping me off my feet I can do, as long as its in time with the music. Hey some standard must be held.
  9. Me

    Me New Member

    Love for the dance. Not for me, not for himself...

    These guys are always the best. If they really love the dance and study to be the best, nothing they will do will make me feel physically uncomfortable or emotionally uneasy. No arm ripping, no Travolta poses, no "cleavage gazing" (not that I'm overly blessed in that department), etc.
  10. englezul

    englezul New Member

    I would be inclined to think that would be generally true if I didn't know almost a ton of chronic off-beaters who have women lining up to dance with them. And they (the women) never look like they're not having fun. Also I think you and I think of 'fun' differently.

    I know one dancer in the scene I frequent who is truly terrible if I judge her by timing, following, spinning, etc. But she's incredibly engaging and doesn't stop moving and smiling, she's really into the music. I prefer her over some expressionless stifled seasoned followers any time.

    Turn it on, and it will be on.

    The only thing I believe is a must is NOT PUTTING THE LADY THROUGH PHYSICAL PAIN. It boggles my mind how some leaders are so freaking rough and have no idea how bad if feels. Personally I attribute this to innate stupidity.

    Sometimes I get annoyed at friends who come to me and complain about X, Y, Z who tore their arms out of the sockets, threw them all over the dance floor but when I ask them "Have you told him he's hurting you?" they respond with some variation "I didn't want to be rude". And by the way you can always say no.
  11. englezul

    englezul New Member

    Lol. I hear this alot, but I don't really see it. :)
  12. Stagekat

    Stagekat Member

    A sense of fun... I dance with a lot of newer leads... so lead quality varies greatly...which is fine... what I like is if my lead has fun while we're dancing... what I hate is someone who leads and has an inflated attitude towards his own skill and subsequently blames me for not being able to follow. I'll do the basic step for the entire song...and I'll be happy about it... if we're having fun. :)
  13. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

    Stage actually looks for me but she hasn't come down to a social yet. Phhhhbbbt! 8-P
  14. Stagekat

    Stagekat Member

    Ok ok ok!!! Gee wiz!... I'll have to make the rounds... We'll set something up I promise... just have to make it through this biz trip...and Christmas... and then I'll start looking for ya! ;)
  15. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    Sure, some of the guys with no rhythm can find's entirely possible that the ladies simply enjoy it as a social experience more than as a dance experience. Or possibly the lady doesn't hear the beat either.

    And 'seasoned' and 'engaging' are not mutually exclusive qualities in dancers. I've seen those expressionless advanced followers too - but most likely they also were expressionless as beginners. If you start out with a fun, engaging personality and an inner joy in dance, that's not going to be lost just because you improve technically.
  16. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    I'll have to show my fave leaders list... which includes two over 60's, quite a few rather rotund gents and many whose looks are not really to my taste... :rolleyes: and there are two very cute guys I hide from because of the arm ripping issues :(
  17. naturallove

    naturallove New Member

    Ditto to what MacMoto said! I'm telling you, eye candy is *nice* when I'm looking from the sidelines, but isn't so important when I hit the dance floor. Now, of course, it is nice when your dance partner is good looking, but there is definitely not a correlation between being a looker and rocking my salsa world! :)

  18. I think that depends a lot on the venue. If you are in a studio party, majority (if not most) of the people will dance with everyone. But it's completly different in a salsa club environment. But in either case, ladies do not like their arms being ripped out.
  19. On2Salsera

    On2Salsera New Member

    Any time I have a good dance, it's because of several factors. The most important one I find is timing. If the lead is off time or keeps switching back and forth when the music is staying on the same timing, that drives me up the wall. I can't follow you if you don't know how to follow the music! There are songs that switch from 1 to 5 and those songs yeah I get it, you switch or you shine....but when there's no switch in the music, don't switch in your timing. Another thing that makes a lead a good lead is technique. If you can't lead a complicated turn pattern, leave it for when you practise, don't try it on the dance floor and dislocate my arm.

    Playfulness is also something that I look for if I'm judging whether or not someone is a good lead, but I think that's more of a personality thing. Salsa/Mambo is supposed to be fun though, so I mean have fun with it! Eye contact, smile, body language. If someone is constantly looking down at their feet when they're leading me, I can guarantee that I won't be having much fun. Part of dancing is having a connection with your partner...and you can't have that if you're not able to see the person's face. Body language comes with experience I guess, because some beginners are really stiff and you can tell they're not relaxed at all. A certain level of tension is required but relax a bit...otherwise you look like a rusty robot in need of oil.

    I guess second most important quality on my list is how heavy/light a lead is (obviously I'm not very good at following a sequence of most important to least important ;) ). I think I sort of touched on this when I mentioned technique and the desire to NOT have my arm dislocated. Anyway, I've danced with leads who are terribly heavy in their lead...they whip me around the dance floor like a rag doll, totally oblivious to the fact that I don't need that heavy of a lead in order to get their cues. One dance with a guy a few months ago actually injured me. It actually felt like he had dislocated my arm and I was forced to sit it out the rest of the night. On the flip side, the leads who are light enough for me to feel comfortable and get their cues...amazing. I love them to death.

    So I suppose timing, the leads weight (not their physical weight;)), body language and technique are of the most important factors to me personally.
  20. EvaDarling

    EvaDarling New Member

    Number one, I look for a guy who can lead me well. I want to feel that push in the small of my back, that pull in my hand and if need be, both his hands showing me what I need to do...because there are some advanced dancers out there who I'm dancing with and as an advanced beginner, I need to be shown how to do intermediate/advanced patterns. I don't like it I have no clue what a guy wants me to do because his touch is so light. I usually end up guessing and sometimes, I guess wrong. So I look for a strong leader. A strong leader is also a big turn on for me so I usually come back for seconds, or thirds or...well, you get it.;)

    Also important is his ability to feel the beat and dance enjoying the music, with a genuine smile showing that. I don't care much for his technique and all the fancy spins but much prefer someone who dances with his heart and soul and is making sure I'm feeling taken care of on the dance floor. Part of that is understanding that I'm a beginner after I've told him that and not trying moves that involve too many spins and twisting of arms. In fact, it's the show off factor that turns me off. If he looks prettier than a peacock on the dance floor and outshines me, then I wouldn't consider it a good dance.

    Oh, and I find some of my favorite dancers sing to me as we dance. He usually has to speak Spanish for that though. That makes me melt on the dance floor. ;)

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