Dancers Anonymous > Life is short

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by sbrnsmith, Jul 21, 2014.

  1. Cal

    Cal Well-Known Member

    Life is short…

    I have very, very conflicting reactions to this concept. I had a recent experience that really brought home the reality that life is short, and fragile and precious. And while on the one hand I have a new appreciation for being patient, extending peace to others, recognizing that mistakes happen and not to be judgmental because life is too short for dwelling on that, on the other hand life is too short for me to expend my patience, time and energy on people who just want to waste my time. For instance, I'm not going to waste a lot of my compassion and energy on, say, drunk drivers and wife-beaters, or people who tell me "can't" and "don't even try" – I just want those people to get out of my way because life is too short to have those people keep me from searching for joy and beauty in the world around me. I guess that means that I still will make certain judgments about people, and hope to heck that I get it right.

    And I'm also contemplating #2 in Larinda's list: 2: Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. When you are immune to others opinions you are no longer the victim of needless suffering. I truly do understand how this can protect people from pain, but I also see times when it can prevent a person from being grateful and inspired. Again, a recent experience showed me that there are people in this world who DO undertake actions – selfless actions - because of their good opinions of particular people, including me. For me, if I'm not immune to the immense gratitude that inspired in me, I just don’t see how I can also be immune to the hurt that comes from poor opinions of me. I truly wish I knew how to split those apart so that I could absorb the good and shed the bad.
    FancyFeet and fascination like this.
  2. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Okay: Humans judge each other. Always will. We are social troop primates and that is an evolutionary survival skill--you DON'T judge a stranger, you end up dead. We're not going to get over that any time soon or probably ever. The individuals who have lived to have their genes make up us didn't do it by being blindly loving, open and accepting. Individuals that were got eaten, so to speak. We will never like the different or "just all get along" unless the aliens land and we GENUINELY have something to band against where we really do have more in common with each other than we have differences. Philosophy is cute, evolutionary biology is coded in our DNA.

    That said--on an individual basis, I've never had a bad experience meeting a DF'er. Frankly I've had very, very few bad experiences meeting other dancers. The thing is, you're in the group. You are at a comp or a social dancing. You're one of us. We're a variety of shapes and sizes and colors (especially after we bust out the self-tanners) but we're all dancers. If this group specifically is what you're worried about? No. People are not going to act like demented middle schoolers. We won't all like you deeply and want to be best buddies, but we're not going to make you hide in the school bathroom at lunchtime and recess.
    dancelvr and sbrnsmith like this.
  3. Angel HI

    Angel HI Well-Known Member

    There is nothing wrong with judging one another. The trick is to do so with a fair and just criteria. "Judge that ye be not judged" simply means to do so by the same set of the highest standards that you would be willing to be yourself.

    Though there is a lot of truth in statements like "Others' opinions of me are their problem...", etc., these only speak to a perfect condition in a perfect world. It is ok to be thoughtful, or even hurt, by some opinions of you, your work, etc. If we were not, we would never learn, grow, improve, or even socialize. We would just be contented and self absorbed with our own greatness, thinking that we were always perfectly right in our perfections. The issue is not to not be impacted by the opinions of others; it is how we allow those opinions to affect us, and what we do with them. *analogy* No one is going to turn down a million dollars. Accepting the money isn't the issue; it's how we let it affect us, and what we do with it that is the real importance.
    Sania likes this.
  4. chomsky

    chomsky Well-Known Member

    Three years ago, 8 months after I started dancing, I realized life is short because someone died. I decided to open up and enjoy every bit of life with others. It sometimes hurts me and the pain is too muched so I close up again.
    I guess we just need to remind ourselves that this life is not for ever so we need to connect now. It's not easy, it's hard but it's worth it.
    opendoor likes this.
  5. CCdance

    CCdance Active Member

    Can't agree with you more! open yourself up is definitely a scary thing to do at first, but the freedom behind that open door worth every trial and error!

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