Dancers Anonymous > Life's Purpose

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by dancersdreamland, Oct 5, 2003.

  1. dancersdreamland

    dancersdreamland New Member

    Do you ever just wonder what your life's purpose is? I think I've hit an age in my life where I'm just questionning everything I've ever learned and trying to decipher what's true, what's opinion, what I believe, what I want more info on. I'm just full of questions with no where to turn and simply feel lost today.

    I don't expect a response as this was mostly a rhetorical question and I just needed to think outloud. If you do have some words of wisdom, though, I would be delighted to hear (or rather read) them.

    Just searching for my calling, I guess. I mean, I'm not really even sure what I want to be or what I want to do with my life...

    Just too many things to think about today. Thanks for listening.
  2. will35

    will35 New Member

    I don't expect a response as this was mostly a rhetorical question and I just needed to think outloud. If you do have some words of wisdom, though, I would be delighted to hear (or rather read) them.

    "I never know what I think until after I read what I write"
    Flannery O'Connor
  3. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Interesting timing dd... tonight, at sun down, is the start of Yom Kippur -- the most sacred of Jewish Holidays and the day calling for the most introspection and atonement. I haven't been questioning life's purpose recently -- although I've done more then my share of that in the past as well -- but I have been thinking over my choices and my role in deciding what paths open up before me and which remain closed.

    Just some food (<--does anyone apreciate the irony of that?) for thought.
  4. dancer_of_god

    dancer_of_god New Member

    thats something I have asked my self many a time. i've also asked myself wether or not i'll ever find love, get a boyfriend, ace all my classes, be popular, or tap as good as gene kelley, and I still haven't found the answer to any of these.
    don't feel lost, everyone has a purpose, believe it or not. it could be simply to dance so much you can't dance anymore, and so end your days danceless. (disregard that comment, it was depressing, even to me, and i can usually bounce back from just about anything!!!)
    anyway, today, go out there and do your thing, DANCE TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. dancersdreamland

    dancersdreamland New Member

    SD - My thoughts and prayers go out to you as you look at the paths of your life and make decisions. Hmm...our timing is pretty interesting.

    More life questioning random thoughts:
    I mean how do you know what you're supposed to do with your life? How do you make choices and invest time, passion, money, and committment into them to find out their wrong.

    I've already been through two different degree programs and am working using both degrees, but I don't think that either are what I want to do with my life.

    The real problem is, I don't have a clue what I want to do with my life or for that matter, I don't really even know who I am.

    I change my mind on nearly a daily basis on what I want to be doing professionally, but nothing really sticks...or sometimes an idea will stick with me for a few days or even a couple months, but then I realize that really not what I want.

    I think, perhaps, I need career guidance/counceling and some serious soul searching.
  6. dancer_of_god

    dancer_of_god New Member

    " Although someone may know what you are going through, they can never feel the confusion you feel, because it is specific to your wants, needs, and desires. And you will never feel theirs, for it has been sanded and shaped to fit them, and no one in the history of time knows what to do to help you, except yourself."
    - my motivational speech I gave for 150 people. yes, i really did give this speech

    just some words of wisdom from one usually not so wise. :roll: :wink: :D
  7. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    dd...first off, thanks for the kind wishes. Unfortunately I won't be able to continue my side of this conversation long as it is almost sunset here...

    I was re-reading your last post because something didn't feel right to me...and then it jumped out to me what it was. Why are you asking yourself what you should be doing professionally? The real question is "what do you just love to do?" Answer that first...then just find a way to get paid for it! I do know that it is easier to say that then to do it, but I also believe this. When I started graduate school, for instance, I had never volunatrily done a step of dancing and was going to write my M.A. (and then later my Ph.D.) about the gender roles on kibbutzim (communal farms) in Israel...

    There are, of course, no one-size-fits-all answers to the questions you're asking... but let me at least hazard an additional response or two.

    First off, no investment ot time, energy, or money is "wrong" if you're willing to learn from them! Sure, you may realize that whatever you were doing is not what you want to be doing... but maybe all of the investement was what was needed to come to that conclusion in the first place, no?

    Second, why do you need to know what you want to do with your life? Do what you love... share your life with people you love and care about. Invest yourself in these people and in things/projects/causes you find meaningful. It's too easy to get so caught up in trying to figure out who you want to become that you stop being.

    Hopefully that's of some slight value... I'll try to say more as I can if you're interested...

  8. dancersdreamland

    dancersdreamland New Member

    That's beautiful. THANK YOU!!!! Excellent speech...and for 150 people!!!! Wow!!!! You are AMAZING!!!!
  9. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    I don't know if you're usually this wise or not, but there is a saying... "Out of the mouths of babes..." (no offense intended regarding your age :wink: ). Honestly, I think our vision too often can become more clouded with experiences and years... and younger voices such as yours see more clearly what we all should know.
  10. dancersdreamland

    dancersdreamland New Member

    SD - Thank you! I'll take some time to chew on what you've said and let my brain digest.

    I think for so long we're told that we have to decide what we want to be when we grow up. I feel all grown up and just have no clue...and to be completely honest I'm not even entirely sure what all I enjoy doing or if some of things I do are simply because other people enjoy it. I think I just need to soul search and find out who I am.

    Thank you for your wisdom and for sharing your thoughts. You are greatly appreciated and I look forward to hearing more.

  11. dancer_of_god

    dancer_of_god New Member

    no offense taken about my age, I suppose that's true.
    good luck on your soul search, and may you find contentmint in those who care for you.

    "Take strength from those who feed you"
    -part of a song from the Disney movie Tarzan, go figure
  12. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Glad to be of any small help I can...the wisdom is not mine, I am just the vessel.

    Most of my students are Freshman. I just got a new batch this past week, and I find it hysterical how few of them are "undeclared" regarding their majors. For G-d's sake, they've been in college for a week now! How do they know if they even like a certain class yet, let alone what they want to do for the next four years as preperation for a career beyond that???

    Why rush to become something before you take the time to just be? Be what they might ask? Yourself I'd say. But I don't know who that is they'd respond. Well how could you I'd're alsways so busy trying to find out that you never take the time to listen to yourself.

    At the risk of reading too much into your situation, it sounds like you -- like them -- have become caught up in feeling like you're supposed to know and/or have the answers. Where'd that come from? Says who? No religious tradition that I am aware of says "Thou shalt know the answers," nor does any philosophical sysetem I know of. They all offer core values, some with more stringent guidelines then others, but none ever say something's off if you don't know. That type of thinking is, unfortuantely, a malady of our contemporary industrial world. Take some time for yourself dd... don't feel like you need to know anything! Just let yourself feel what it is that you feel... and, in line with Chelsey's sage words, trust your own inner wisdom as your guide.
  13. dancer_of_god

    dancer_of_god New Member

    SD-You are most certainly not mistaken on this one. However, in regards to me being a sage; it is you who must be the sage, o wise one :lol:
    Seriously, what he said is correct; take the time to live your life in the way u see fit and don't allow yourself to be judged by those who would put you down ..." for blessed are they that are lost, in search of belonging" -some bible verse I heard in church today [/quote]
  14. DanceMentor

    DanceMentor Administrator build the best darn Dance Forum on the internet!

    And also, to get myself in a position to help others reach there potential. I feel like I have accomplished much, but you may not agree if you knew me. Still, I really have a desire to help other people. Furthermore, I think if you too can cultivate this desire, without expecting a return, you will be glad you did.
  15. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    DD, I'm sure that everything will be fine and that you'll just that much stronger for it in the end. My only concern is that aren't you planning your wedding? Of course I don't know the intricacies of what's going on with you and I will never claim to. I want what's best for you. Can you know who you want to spend the rest of your life with when you do not yet know who you are?
  16. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    I really had to read these posts several times . . .

    There are some very nice people here . . . people who care about others.
    It is so refreshing to see this when, in a world of hurry ups and I, me, mine. Individuals who do care are few and far between.

    There is an acronym that I preached to my kids . . . FOP. I told them to base their daily life on this word "fop." It works. Try it!

    FOP= for other people!
  17. brujo

    brujo New Member

    An email forward

    A forward I got in the email a couple of days back, it hits how I feel about life spot on.

    For those in their twenty-something's.......

    This puts it all into words perfectly. They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

    It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

    You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

    You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

    You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I know I'm going to sound weird, but what the heck? Why stop now? :lol:

    I try to allow my actions to be directed by my spirit. I believe that it's God directing my spirit, although others probably believe other things. Here's my experience.

    One day, I went to Target (a large discount/department store) to pick up a few items. Outside, I saw a man who was obviously homeless. He was filthy, and you could smell his body odor from several feet away. My spirit told me to give the man lunch money, but you know what a bad reputation homeless people have. I figure he'd probably spend the money on liquor, so I ignored the message and went on into the store. A couple hundred dollars worth of (junk) purchases later, I got into the checkout line, and the homeless man was in the line beside me. He was buying a candy bar. I guess some other person gave him 50 cents, so he came into the store to buy what food he could afford. I felt so bad. My spirit had moved me to take care of that man, that one day, and I didn't even want to spare the $5 to buy him lunch. I felt ashamed of myself.

    So I bought him lunch, but more importantly I learned my place in the world. Sometimes, I think we're prompted to do things for a reason. And we only hurt ourselves and the balance of nature if we don't do those things.
  19. Black Sheep

    Black Sheep New Member

    Serving others

    You said it all when you posted:

    "And also, to get myself in a position to help others reach there potential. I feel like I have accomplished much, but you may not agree if you knew me. Still, I really have a desire to help other people. Furthermore, I think if you too can cultivate this desire, without expecting a return, you will be glad you did."

    There is a parable in the Bible, where Luke tells of an incident where the leading Rabbis came to Jesus and asked him, "Who is the greatest among us?" and Jesus gives his parable which paraphrased is, 'He that serves others'.
    And I think Luke probably forgot that Jesus might have added, '...Without expecting anything in return'.

    Serving others may seem a bit naive to some, and unrewarding, but it depends on how you calculate rewards. Using money as a standard for rewards is going down the wrong road. That's called business!

    As for wondering where you are going in life, and what should be your goals, allow me to tell you a brief meditation I had hitchhiking from Virginia to work in the Texas oil fields in 1946 with my best friend R. F. Cage. There was a lot of time to think while hitchhiking, and I mulled over some of the paths I should take on this hitchhiking through life. When I look back some 56 years to that time, I recalled that the one thing I did not plan on or put up as a goal was to get rich! And so I never did get money rich. However, I did plan on developing those talents and tastes for pursuits that I could always enjoy without being rich, like music, art, sports I was already addicted to at the time, and to try as many vocations as I could; I managed that aspect to over 77 when I stopped Counting, in different categories from sculpting to auctioneering and from surveying to building contracting. I even tried marriage twice, but failed miserably!
    But the most important revelation that came to me was last November 2002. Just a few months away from my 80th birthday, I discovered I had the gift of composing music, with having had only one semester of piano in 1959. Since that November I have written the words and music to over 25 songs, and I have to add 'without trying'.
    What's my point? I believe we are all endowed with MANY talented gifts; It is up to the individual to search, find and develop these gifts! And once you find that gift, practice it every day for at least an hour or two to and you will reach your goal of accomplishment within two years. I guarantee it or your money back.
    I always wanted to be a writer, but never was encouraged; I always wanted to be a vocalist, but I was only ridculed by friends and some family members. I always wanted to be a dancer, but never believed that would happen. I always wanted to finish college, and that took 17 years after I got out of WW II.
    People who take a day's auto trip to an unfamiliar destination, study road maps and take the route that appeals to them most, but when it comes to taking an 80 year trip through life, they often do not bother planning for tomorrow, and end up wondering why they got stuck in some desolate swampland where life was a complete bummer. That happens to the rich as often as it happens to the poor.
    Black Sheep, 'You are never poor until you give up' Joe Lanza, 2003 a. d.
  20. dancer_of_god

    dancer_of_god New Member

    This, I must say, is truly touching. I've never seen a more caring community as this one. Heck, even my youth group isn't as nuturing as this!! Basically, one of my friends read this, and almost cried- she never cries, ever. "Without pain there would be no compassion" -some person, maybe a scripture verse or something.
    "And without pain, life would be down-right boring"- very wise person


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