Salsa > Looking at cleavage

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by tacad, Mar 21, 2005.

  1. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious New Member

    But I thought men were supposed to dress in dark colours anyway, and women in bright (according to some salsa etiquette). Of course black makes you look slimmer and white larger, so you might want to consider that as well.

    Of course I didn't mean that only appearance affects the impression. I saw a programme on BBC that argued that well-coordinated individuals received more attention than other individuals, and I think that affects on a subconscious level.
  2. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  3. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    I have never heard this rule of ettiquette, regarding dressing in different colors for salsa dance. I think people should wear whatever they feel comfortable in and whatever color compliments them(hopefully people KNOW what colors they look good in!). I am personally attracted toguys wearing darker colors because I think it is a sexy, mysterious color. Black can make almost anyone look sexy! 8)
  4. ElSereno

    ElSereno New Member

    Re: hahahaha!!

    Hey, I'm there to dance too, that doesn't stop me appreciating beautiful women beautifully dressed -- and if that happens to be revealingly, also appreciating the beauty they have chosen to expose.

    And I'm not talking about "conventional" beauty here -- I can think of all kinds of women at the local clubs who wouldn't get past the door in a model agency, but who dress and move in such a way as to shine. It comes from the inside.

    Dancing is fantastic, dancing with a beautiful person of the opposite sex even more so.
  5. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    A couple things here, Ron. Although I don't want to single you out, I'm wondering if other folks feel as you do but aren't saying anything.

    So a couple things. No offense or personal comments intended.

    One, there's a whole lot in tone of voice, or perceived tone of voice. There've been all sorts of studies in American English that I know about and perhaps other languages that I don't know about. The actual words one says represent only a small fraction of the meaning that other people interpret. The rest is in tone of voice, body language and other things.

    When you're communicating via the internet, all you have is words. So, fairly often, people react dramatically differently to even the same exact words. They bring their own interpretation, in the absence of body language and actual voices which could help them, in person.

    This particular thread started out that way. The actual words said may be innocuous. But, as you can probably tell from the first couple pages of responses, the tone came across pretty badly to several people. Everybody had their own interpretation. That's just the way it goes on the web, sometimes. :?

    (I'm not even going to get into cultural, personality, religious and other differences which define what we perceive as polite or impolite, but that's a part of it, too.)

    And two, what I've observed both by having worked here for a year-and-a-half and through other life experiences, is that everybody has at least a hot-button issue or two. (Some people have a lot more. :roll: :lol: ) So the issue that you find perfectly harmless to discuss may really inflame someone else. You'll be sitting at your computer wondering what all the fuss is about. Meanwhile, someone halfway around the world is fuming, flaming others on line, jumping up and down (figuratively) or perhaps quitting Dance Forums.

    And then, a week or two from now, another issue will come up which mortally offends you, while the person who was so upset before is perfectly okay. I hope that makes sense. :?

    At any rate, I personally prefer to try to handle every issue as sensitively as possible, so there's as little fuming, jumping up and down, flaming, screaming or qutting as possible. 8) :wink:

  6. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    btw thanks, tacad, for modifying your first post. Now newcomers to the thread will have at least a little idea of what the heck we're talking about. :wink: :lol: 8)
  7. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I dress very causual. For instance, yesterday night I was wearing dark blue jeans, with a dark grey t-shirt, and a faded blue/black checked long sleeved shirt. I did have a pair of nice black dress shoes on, though. This is somewhat medium for me. I can dress down to sandals, and a white gym shirt and a faded old pair of black slacks... I guess I could do shorts, but that may have to wait for the summer.

    :p :wink: :)

    I do dress up a lot, with much nicer clothes, but my point is that dressing may help you to a certain extent, but if you have the confidence and ability it don't really matter what you wear.
  8. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I do notice that guys tend to wear dark colors and ladies brigher ones, but I am one who doesn't pay attention to such things. I just wear what I feel like on a particular night. I actually enjoy wearing this hotr pink long sleeved shirt now and then. :wink: :)
  9. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Yes, thanks for recontextualizing this thread for newcomers to it tacad.
  10. tacad

    tacad New Member

    I keep forgetting people can't see me or hear my tone of voice. I tend to have a rather blunt sense of humor which is softened and put in a lighter context by my tone of voice and body language. Somehow I think that I will remember from now on that I need to and have to express myself through the written language more clearly from now on. :wink:
  11. tacad

    tacad New Member

    And you're welcome. :)
  12. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Yeah. That's a tough one, even in person, sometimes. I've have a very ... acidic way of speaking, just naturally, and I have to work very hard to tone it down, sometimes. *shrug*
  13. Pebbles

    Pebbles New Member

    Some are happy to look, some are happy to be looked at. And in Tacad’s case, I’m glad they found each other. Feel happy for them, or leave them alone. I don’t see what there is to get angry about.

    Do women look? Ask the women who show up at sports events with binoculars. They don’t need them to read the scores, and a lot of them couldn’t care less about the scores anyway.
  14. tj

    tj New Member

    Gee, I go away on vacation for a long weekend and I miss out on all the drama!
    :roll: :wink:
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Binoculars? Moi? Never. *giggle*

    And no, I generally don't look ... much ... after that first 30-second to 1-minute first-impression appraisal. But then, I'm an auditorally-oriented person. What a guy says, the pitch of his voice, even his use of silence, are a lot more powerful to me than how he looks. And I can listen to a guy all day without ever getting accused of being a pervert. Men DO love to talk, most of them. :wink: :lol:

    So yes, I can understand that visually oriented people want to look. No problem. 8) :lol:
  16. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    did some one say cleavage?! :shock: where!? i wana see! :lol:

    naah seriously i'm a booty luva meself so i dont stare at cleavages more than two times a week.. never more than three! :p

  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    ROTFL! :lol:
  18. alemana

    alemana New Member

    women at sports events with BINOCULARS??? ho ho ho, that's hilarious. too bad more don't do it - it would open up a whole new consumer market for Package Beautification Products for men. they could start making weekly appointments at a Package Spa for buffing, waxing and collagen injections.

    but let's be frank. body objectification levels for men versus women - it's not even in the same ballpark. i don't really care to debate why, but really, it's just not the same. so getting all "hey, everybody does it" is kind of disingenous as an argument. imagine a woman blatantly checking out a male genital area at a salsa event, then looking back up to the guy's face and grinning, and looking back down. keeping her eyes there, because hey, it's like an elephant is in the room and you can't look away! it's irresistible, it's biological! or a monkey in the room! or a teeny tiny little earthworm, or whatever analogy you chose.

    a woman who did that would be seen as nuts.

    no pun intended.
  19. Vince A

    Vince A Active Member

    Yea . . . me too . . . but would you stare at booty cleavages . . . you know those great low-cut slacks that they wear that shows those wonderful thongs and sometimes booty cleavage???

    I don't . . . but was wondering if you did . . . I got this info from my 13 year-old :roll:
  20. azzey

    azzey Member

    Either that or she's a pre-op gay transexual, dressing down for the evening. :wink:

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