First and foremost, I'm new here, so go easy on me!! I have diagnosed myself with a specific form of chorophobia, and it's caused me to do some interesting things over the years... I'll begin by saying I'm not rhythmically challenged. I was in marching band in high school, play in many musical groups (mostly jazz/swing), and was ranked the top jazz trombonist in my area as a senior. I have also played other instruments, including percussion. On my own, without a partner, I'm a competent dancer. I'm a bit heavy-legged and am not the most graceful human being in the world (I grew up playing baseball), but I can move with the rhythm and do it whenever/wherever. However, I have a serious problem here. I go completely stiff and into panic mode if asked to dance with a partner to the point where I feel myself getting ill. Here are some of my fears: --I am still not sure what to do to join hands and whatnot with a partner. Which hand goes where? --I know as a guy I'm supposed to lead, but I don't really get what that means. --I actually failed at the middle school sway thing and got my butt handed to me in terms of lectures from others. As a result, I skipped prom. I didn't even make an effort to ask anyone to it because I was too nervous about the prospect of making someone's night miserable and something they'd remember for all the wrong reasons. I went to a baseball game instead. I lucked out most of college, but in my senior year, my then girlfriend asked me to the ball. (Note who did the asking here). I had an absolute fit getting ready for that thing trying to gain some semblance of what I had to do. I had to repeat everything to myself a million times and probably still forgot. Thankfully, we liked each other and we were off to ourselves. Funny thing is we broke up three weeks later... Now I have the problem of weddings. I usually can luck out of things by being the DJ, being the live entertainer, or by just not coming with a partner. (Seriously, if it's something like doing the "Bye Bye Bye" dance from NSync, I'm totally down for it and tend to school the younger people on it). However, I dread the day when my own wedding comes. I'll be so caught up in the whole thing and stressed regardless... My questions are as follows: 1. I know what chorophobia is, but is there any specific term for what I have in case I want to run this by a psychologist? (I minored in psych--but focused on child development and evolutionary psych--and have a few friends in the field who probably know more about fears). 2. Just where does one put their left and right hands in a typical ballroom-type dance? Which hand holds hers, where does the other one go? High back, mid back, shoulder, waist? 3. Is it bad that nobody in my family ever taught me this stuff as a kid? My uncle is the only one who dances routinely in the family and he lives six states away. 4. What are the odds I can talk someone out of a traditional first dance and do something coordinated instead where we don't really have to touch each other? 5. How can I get over this fear? I know the obvious answer is to dance, but what about the fear of being called out and yelled at in public? FYI: I'm 30, male, calculus teacher, and am in good physical shape. I currently am not in a committed relationship with anyone.