Short story: I have enjoyed learning Tango, and it is great to see my wife and the other ladies look so happy, except that I'm uncomfortable being that close with women other than my wife. Any advice for me? Here's the longer story: I think I'm a mostly normal person: Married, kids, friends, family, well educated, good job, skiing, mountain biking, go to church, give technical lectures, help coach a high school team, etc. I'm not shy about talking to people, or afraid of taking some risks (like a black diamond ski run). I guess my one oddity is I'm a personal space kind of guy. Shaking hands is fine, hugging I avoid (except with my wonderful spouse). As you might surmise, for me a separated stance (or whatever it's called) is halfway to a hug and beyond my comfort zone. After years of marriage my wife and I took a ballroom dancing class. People only danced with the partner they brought to class, no switching partners. I thought that was how more formal dance worked, and that worked for me! We enjoyed it enough we decided we wanted to do another dance class, Tango this time. In the first class, after a very short amount of time, the instructor announced “switch partners!” My wife moved off and abandoned me! The easiest road seemed to grin and bear it, so I did. How long could 50 minutes be? The next half hour was among the longest days of my life, switching between about 10 women. It was less painful the last 20 minutes of class, so I guess I might not be completely hopeless. My wife didn't like that a shortage of men left her without a partner 1/2 the time, so the next few lessons she did not rotate. That was great by me! The instructors got some men from a more advanced class to help even the numbers, she asked me if I wanted to switch. I said “no,” of course, but she suddenly abandoned me again! I am now a veteran of dancing with strangers in class for over an hour, and it is still not really in my comfort zone. Now she wants to go to a Milonga in two days! The class is hard enough, but at least the switching partners is structured and you don't spend very long with any given person. Here are some by-the-ways: o I don't know what it is called, but this studio does the “apart” dancing (about 1/2 arm's length apart). I'd probably run out of the studio screaming if it was torso-to-torso dancing! OK, I exaggerate, but only about the screaming part! o We are about 6 lessons into a 12 lesson class. o The ladies have been very polite and complimentary o imho I have been doing reasonably well for a beginner o I try to hide my discomfort, and in the class it fits with being a newby, but maybe it's different at a Milonga. o I live in the Western United States. o I don't think it is a jealousy thing (if anything, that would go the other way as women outnumber men) My dear wife is aware of my discomfort. She says she is proud of me for pushing through it in the class. She also says things like I should like dancing with so many beautiful women, but that misses the point of my discomfort. She also said she thought I would enjoy dancing with different women at the Milonga, shortly after she said she was aware I was uncomfortable dancing with other women! I'm still trying to decode that one! Our instructors strongly encourage switching partners. I am aware you learn more and learn faster by switching partners. So any wisdom for me? I can think of several options: Do people ever dance with the same person the whole night at a Milonga? If no, what is the maximum amount of dancing with one's spouse? Is there a “spouse tradition,” like doing the first and/or last dances with your spouse? What about just observing and not dancing? That might help my comfort level. Any tips on how to be a wallflower? Maybe I should stick to the class' structured switching partners thing and skip a Milonga this soon into the dance personal space thing and being a Tango newb? Tell my spouse to go by herself? Is there a dance that has more personal space or doesn't switch partners? Maybe Tango and I are fundamentally incompatible. Am I the only one with this issue? Anyway, believe it or not I am finding Tango itself (with my spouse) to be fun, and FWIW to be more fun than the ballroom dances. The instructors and the other people in the class are great, too.