General Dance Discussion > Paid dance Social/event with your dance teacher for the entire event time?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by anntennis, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. anntennis

    anntennis Active Member

    The pros who I know and do that are married. The charge is just as for multiple private lessons. It has nothing to do with romance or dates.
  2. kayak

    kayak Active Member

    Cool, I'm sure I did misunderstand your posts and I didn't mean to sound offensive.
  3. mamboqueen

    mamboqueen Well-Known Member

    too frequent! even when someone doesn't want something fixed! :raisebro:
  4. Throwaway Overshare

    Throwaway Overshare New Member

    If it's just leaving work late, that's one thing, but if it's working late at the office a spouse might be suspicious.
  5. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    heh. now that goes without saying.:cool:
  6. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    I will fess up to having had a dream about having won a silent auction for a single social dance with Eugene Katsevman. So my sub-conscious mind understands the appeal completely. ;)

    I don't see why this practice should be stigmatized any more than pro-am competition. It's a business arrangement, not a date.

    In terms of whether pros should dance/socialize with their students at comps and/or socials, I have three thoughts:

    Thought 1--I don't think a pro is obligated to ask his/her students to dance during general dancing at a comp, and I can understand many situations in which a pro would definitely and quite justifiably not want to do so (e.g., just danced a heckalot of heats, dancing pro event later that evening and need to conserve energy).

    Thought 2--If there are not such impediments, though, small gestures of kindness and friendship are appreciated. (It's not required, and I'm not entitled to it, but it's appreciated.) Similarly, I try to go to Homecoming at the college where I teach and circulate visibly even though I am IN NO WAY obligated to do so and am not responsible for or interested in donations to the alumni fund. Taking a human interest in people even when they are not paying one directly to do so is...well, it's part of what makes us human! I actually do want to stay in touch with alumni because...well, it's cool to hear what the people one has taught have done with their lives. And I would hope that most pros would occasionally want to dance with their students just because it's cool. But maybe that's overly idealistic.

    Thought 3--I did once almost have a falling out with the person who teaches me and CCP. She was at a comp, had danced pro-am with some students, but didn't want to buy a ticket to watch us dance at a later session even though she was right there outside the ballroom with no other plans for the evening. Was she obligated to do? NO. Did I feel like she should, given that she was RIGHT THERE, that her support would mean a lot to us, and that we have been regular customers? YES. I did not say ANYTHING, but I was upset. Luckily, she got a free ticket from a friend and it all ended happily. I guess my point here would be that for a lot of students, it may not even be whether their pro asks them to dance, but whether they think their pro respects them and cares about them.
  7. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    That and do they actually value my business? Used to take from an instructor not affiliated with any studio that would have dance outings. From watching him at these outings, it became very obvious that he knew which of his students (such as myself) would keep coming every week and wouldn't dance with us, but he'd dance with the ones that he felt needed his sales energy. And marketing 101 will tell you, you have to remember to keep your marketing efforts up with your current customers. It was something I grew to resent that I was being taken for granted, and eventually I did take my business elsewhere. Not because he didn't dance with me, but because (amongst other reasons) he valued the business of other people more than mine.
    It's the same reason I won't go to a certain dance social in town. The guy that runs it, in the many times I did go to it, never once asked me to dance. I don't even expect him to ask everytime I go, just once in the 10 or so times I did go, a single solitary invitation. He doesn't value my $12 as much as someone else's $12. So he lost my business and any future $12 I would have given him.
    I don't think I feel "entitled" to a dance, although I could see where an instructor would feel that way. I just want my business to be as appreciated as any other student's. If a pro doesnt' want to dance with any of their students, that's fine. If he only wants to dance with ones that he's buddies with, that's fine. If he'd prefer to dance with the ones that he thinks he has a chance of getting into bed later that night, that's fine too. But if he has me and another student, all things being relatively equal, if he dances with that other student more than me, I'm going to be a little resentful.

    As for the OP, I wonder if that's part of the reason the first pro turned you down. To do the gig, he may encounter other students there that he'd have to turn down, and worries how it would affect his business relationships with them. Sure you're paying for the night, but if he has other students that would feel snubbed, the pay for that night might not counter the risk of lost business. As many have said, I wouldn't take it personally. He could have a variety of reasons for not wanting the gig, none of them personal.
  8. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    You are far more generous that I in that regard. One time, one visit to a local studio, all by myself, totally ignored by the owner and the staff...despite tiny attendance and multiple opportunities to ask.

    I'll be danged if they ever got my business after that. Not even a question of it in my mind.
  9. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Likewise. I had a similar experience recently, and I won't go back to that studio. It was such a contrast from my first teacher's socials, where he was up and dancing constantly with EVERYONE.
  10. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    agree...I find that I rarely get asked by staff at studios b/c they know that my business is not going my two options for private lessons, past and present, weren't going to one studio where my husband dances the owner will graciously ask me once or twice a night...otherwise, bupkes
  11. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    I am reminded in this thread about a discussion about automobile purchases... that altho it is usually one of the biggest purchases of your life, and you spend tons of time in it, almost everyone purchases thru 'feel', no research, and a large percentage judge the quality of a car by the mount of cupholders!

    Spending tens of thousands a year on lessons, and yet some folks will leave the entire thing based on a perceived 'snub' at at $12 social.

    If you simply go and talk to your teacher, and let him or her know your feelings, you might be surprised at what you hear - anything from an apology to being asked to dance. But I do think that judging your experience at a studio based on a $12 social... well, I beg you to reconsider how you are valueing your experience...
  12. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Well, in my case, it's not a studio I'd be taking lessons from, regardless. I was there for a ballroom social dance, whereas I only study AT. This was a case of not being made to feel welcome in the least, and as a result, I won't be heading back there for future socials. If they can't be bothered to make a newcomer feel welcome, at least a very little bit, I see no reason why I should continue to give them my money. I can go other places where I am made to feel welcome.

    OTOH, I choose not to study with a particular AT teacher who doesn't make newcomers feel welcome at all. Both explicitly and implicitly. Sure, he's a great dancer and teacher. And I will take one-off lessons with him from time to time if I can. But I choose not to support someone who doesn't seem to support some of the most vulnerable people who are trying to come into the scene. That's just not cool. I want to work with someone who fosters a good atmosphere. (And in AT it's a bit different from ballroom, because so much of the focus is the social experience instead of a competitive one.) It's just a way of voting with my wallet, is all.
  13. Easy

    Easy Active Member

    Haven't read every post, but scoial ballroom is the same as social AT....comeptition is a different animal entirely. As snub is a snub is a snub, just as fun is fun is fun...the common denominator being Social ;)
  14. Easy

    Easy Active Member

    Funny thing is I run into the opposite. I recently opened my studio parties to non-students as long as they pay for their admission. Some of my students, and one of my teachers, who has since been fired ;) , wonder why I dance with everyone once before I repeat a dance. My reasoning..anyone there who paid...or is a guest...paid to make that party happen, why would I not dance with everyone? The positives, I feel, outweigh the negatives. New people having a great time might encourage other people to attend...which is happening. More men might come as a result. I also feel that people having a great experience througha noncommittal type visit might actually think...hey maybe this is a great place to learn to dance! The last three parties at my offseason...have been larger than many of my regular parties during season.

    Of course, once I've danced with everyone once, my extra dances usually go to the people that make my doors swing the most and future prospective customers ;)
  15. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    You're absolutely right. I should have made that distinction. Thanks for pointing it out.
  16. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Very cool that you take this attitude. It can make such a difference, and I know this personally. My first teacher went out of his way to make me feel welcome and included at the first couple of social dances I attended--it gave me a warm feeling, and very inclined to go back for more...which I did. :)

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