General Dance Discussion > Pet Peeves at Dances

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Phil Owl, Mar 29, 2003.

  1. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    Yes, totally based on experience. Virtually every follow I know, once they start taking privates, visit socials much less than when they were groupies (lol) or beginners. They certainly never think of a social as a practice, since practice does not mean repetition of social hold dances, but actual intense focus with a partner on dance specifics. Changing partners and dances every three minutes does not allow for any of that. many times, for instance, practice consists of exercises or work on specific routines.

    Most studio parties see the group class attendees and sometimes the students of the pro 'host' but rarely thee competitive dancers or the 'serious' ones. In the NYC area, that can sometimes not be the case, but more often than not you see paid hosts dancing with students,,,
  2. Cal

    Cal Well-Known Member

    RiseNFall, yes, I'm perfectly comfortable asking leaders to dance. Sometimes they say yes, sometimes they say no. And sometimes when they say no it's with a certain sense of indignation that I'd even THINK about trying to split up a couple, and sometimes when they say yes it's with a sense of patronization that they are willing to give me such a treat.

    On somewhat of a tangent, there are one or two couples-only dinner/dance clubs in my area. Their membership is dwindling. And I have heard second-hand that several ladies who now find themselves widows and unpartnered are upset that, although they are still allowed to attend the dinner-dances, have to take the leftover dances from the men whose wives allow them to dance with the widows.
  3. RiseNFall

    RiseNFall Well-Known Member

    Not true at the studio I'm at. Some of the advanced follows don't come to the parties, but in one case it's family obligation, one I don't don't imagine social dancing every under any circumstances (OK, she is coming to an event this month; I'll pay attention), and the third I don't know why. I would guess too busy with everything else--including a non-dancing husband--for it be appealing.
    IndyLady likes this.
  4. Partner Dancer

    Partner Dancer Well-Known Member

    The quotes are used to convey "roughly" or "generally," as in "for lack of a better
    word." They soften the idea being expressed, or imply the statement is food for
    thought rather than some hard rule.

    Sometimes, the "worse off" is a short-term verses long-term thing. Dances where
    attendees don't intermingle, especially in situations where leader/follower, advanced/
    beginner, etc., imbalance exist, will eventually shut down (unless they are a couples
    venue, or one of those [paid] dance-host places). That's why there is a "giving"
    (verses "taking") aspect to social dancing behavior. As already mentioned, if
    advanced dancers don't social dance with beginner dancers, then very soon the
    beginners stop showing and the venue closes down due to poor attendance.

    One of the greatest things the chain studios (and studios that follow their pattern
    due to instructor training) preach is that everyone dances with everyone (well, only
    generally across-gender). This contribution cannot be understated, along with a
    miriad of other etiquettes. Granted there is a self-serving aspect to fostering these
    behaviors, but it fosters community awareness that is essentially to keeping
    partner dancing viable. Dancers brought up in this system are rarely "cliquish"
    or dance snobs.

    No one is expected to dance what they can't do. Hopefully, the "no" is
    explained sufficiently so no slight is taken.
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2014
  5. RiseNFall

    RiseNFall Well-Known Member

    No, I would not expect you to learn Smooth, but we were at the same dance frequently, I would use this as an excuse to learn enough Standard to be able to dance with you some! It's on my wish list, and my pro's origins are in Standard. I have more than once requested help learning something for social dances, though this would certainly be an extreme example of it.
  6. IndyLady

    IndyLady Well-Known Member

    I would never claim that you have an obligation, but you would spend a lot more time on the floor if you would learn at least the basics of some other styles (esp smooth and rhythm, which are the dominant styles at socials). Assuming that you wanted to dance more. Otherwise, carry on.
  7. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    One thing I need to clarify, and I'm sorry to necro it back in to the thread but it's been a long day doingstuffwise-

    The concept of dance hosts I was going with originally: Dance hosts on a cruise ship or at some events are paid because they are vetted and trained and their job comes with various codes of conduct and other stipulation foremostly, with 'everyone else' as in after they've seen to the wallflowers, singles, unpartnereds, etc.

    When we were roped into trying a USADANCE chapter, we were told by USA-Dance (USAD, I like to think of it as) that dance hosts were there "foremostly to be friendly to unpartnered people and dance with them, but also to make everyone feel welcome."
  8. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Realistic? Could be. Overly forceful dancers can definitely injure their partners. A suggestion for defending yourself: when dancing with a partner like that, make sure to keep your fingers closed. As someone who's had partners try to take my thumb with them through a turn, I've learned to keep my thumbs in when I dance with someone like that.
  9. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Just the other day in class, we had a drop-in who'd "been dancing for fifty years"- and I didn't doubt it, but two slides forward, one slide back, pumphandle the arm is dancing to them, not to me. Along with those old habits came a complete lack of what to do with frame and body, and when she grabbed hold of my left thumb and pulled down, I swear to tacgnol I heard it pop (so did she- did she do anything about it? Sure, she blinked dumbly at me and kept right on) and it HURT. I had to stop her and tell her "this is what you're doing and it hurts because. Try it this way." She kept going right back to grabbing my thumb, so I told her that she'd best sign up for level one in the fall, and work on not thumbcracking in a completely polite and rephrased manner from the way I just typed it.
    MaggieMoves and demoiselle like this.
  10. demoiselle

    demoiselle Active Member

    Ouch! What's with the thumbcrackers and fingerwringers lately?!
  11. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    To me, teaching a group class is only slightly about the 'step of the week' and a lot about how people interact in dance. It is your teachers responsibility to make sure that everyone understands the very basic concepts of partner dance... 'First, do no harm'.... I spend a lot of time making sure that the students see that even tho they are learning and are not responsible for errors or issues, they are certainly responsible for their connection with other students.
  12. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    If, as they say in Texas, you got to dance with them what brung you, I was, I would like to speak in defense of staying with one partner for the whole night. I recently went to a USA dance social in another city, with a friend who lives in that city. I went to the dance with him, assuming that we would switch partners from time to time, as I have always done at socials, even when I went with him before (I do mixers!).

    However, he and I danced only with each other, the whole evening except the mixer. It was a new experience for me, to have an evening of dancing with just one person. I began to understand why partnered people choose not to mingle. I liked becoming familiar with his leads, and discovering how to follow him, adapting to his dance embrace, having fun when he got playful.

    Selfish? Maybe. But worth it. YMMV
    MaggieMoves and Bailamosdance like this.
  13. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    I can empathize with their feelings, but if one doesn't like the rules, it's time to find (or invent?) a different game.
  14. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    Ewww. (Just kidding - mixers can be... educational, if not fun.)
    j_alexandra likes this.
  15. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    That sentence: the consequences of cut and paste, instead of just rewriting the whole thing. <headwall>
    leee likes this.
  16. RiseNFall

    RiseNFall Well-Known Member

    For everyone out there whose posts are not always what you meant to type, I've gotten very good at translating what is typed--and sometimes auto-"corrected"--to what people meant to say. It's part of the entertainment of reading texts, e-mails, forum posts, etc. and the amount of time it would take to make sure everything is properly edited would be prohibitive.
  17. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    There once was a sample text with almost every word misspelled. As long as the first and last letters (?) were correct, most people understood the message. (Possibly wouldn't work if one were dyslexic, but IDK.)
  18. Hedwaite

    Hedwaite Well-Known Member

    Just because you can do something, though, doesn't mean you should.

    Lest we forget People of Walmart. *eyebleach*
    architeuthis likes this.
  19. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    My favorite site for new fashion trends!

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