Salsa > Question for the ladies

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by BugBear, Mar 21, 2006.

  1. RugKutta

    RugKutta New Member


    I couldn't have said it better myself. I especially agree w/ what you said about ladies putting so much time, effort, and money into going out but only dancing a fraction of the time. Man or woman, you should never allow others to control wether or not you have a good time. Now granted, there are those venues where women get in free, so risk of wasting x amount of $ isn't there, but still, the time that you spend not dancing is time you could have spent being somewhere else, doing something more fun/constructive/productive than not dancing.
  2. alemana

    alemana New Member

    wow, some good posts on this issue. provocative. i've been thinking about this every time i go dancing since we started talking about it.

    especially when i go to ask a guy:)
  3. africana

    africana New Member

    a lot of good comments. But if I were a leader and the followers are all passive, and I have to provide all the "entertainment" I would NOT want any of them to ask me

    maybe I'm more like AD than i thought hmm
  4. AzureDreamer

    AzureDreamer New Member

    Just off topic... I danced with this girl over the weekend who made me lead everything. She was extremely responsive... but if I didn't lead it, she didn't do it. They are moves that I don't think I EVER actually led before... like I have been doing this move for 15 years... and never actually led it. She didn't anticipate a thing. It just totally changed the feel of the dance. Mindblowing.

    I think I became a better dancer doing a single dance with her than in like the last year of dancing. She wasn't gorgeous; not bad looking... but I know a lot of better looking girls. All the same, her attitude on the dance floor was entirely "I'll do anything you want, but you have to take me there, every bit of the way" Other than the fact she lived in argentina (that's resolvable) and married (a bit of a deal breaker), I would have been totally like "I want to spend the rest of my life dancing with YOU."

    Passive is the wrong word, she wasn't at all passive.... Responsive, but required you to take the initiave at everything. Best dance I have ever had. and I walked into it cold, just had no clue until I was dancing with her what it would be like.

    (I talked to my friend who told me to dance with her... he was like, "I am just going to give up dancing forever, cause its all going to be a disappointment after this.")

    Don't think that has anything to do with anything. Some girls are passive, most of them anticipate and jump ahead... just destroy whatever sense of connection was there. Sometimes you dance one dance with someone and you think, "THAT is why I learned to dance."
  5. africana

    africana New Member

    oh no no no I do not equate being a good responsive follower with being passive. Passive in the sense of no expression, no style, no energy, nothing. dead. i wouldn't want to dance with such followers
  6. BugBear

    BugBear New Member

    Still a bit off topic but... I came back from the opening of the new salsa school in town and there I asked one girl to a bachata. And all of sudden just as I decided to spin myself instead of her she took control of the dance and started leading me. At first I was like :shock: :shock: but it took me like only an 8 beat to reallise that I was having LOADS of fun. I never thought that following could be so much fun :rolleyes: Deffinetly will ask her again tommorow night :D
  7. africana

    africana New Member

    whoa :shock: :lol: at least she didn't make you bend over :p
  8. hello

    hello New Member

    I agree. It seems like everyone's salsa scene is a little different. Just like some styles of salsa are more prevalent from city to city, so are the unique cultures that accompany salsa.

    My salsa scene is more conservative. Almost always the guy asks the girl. A few girls will dance with each other. Or friends come together, and dance with each other. Just like I've learned the steps, I'm also learning the social cues, what actions are acceptable, expected, rare, frowned upon.

    I'm getting a strong "woman" vibe from comments of both sexes. I, too, love being that independent confident woman who goes for what she wants without seeking permission or approval. This is accompanied with a respect and understanding of what the men want, look for, when dancing. I want my partner to feel comfortable, so if he feels more comfortable asking me, I accept this. Plus it's a good sign of confidence when a guy is comfortable enough to ask you to dance. Although there are those occasional moments when you'd wish the guy would've remained shy...smelly, bad dancer, egostistical, etc...teehee

    I appreciate the different viewpoints, because I've wondered why sometimes I don't get asked as much as I'd like, and don't want to wait around, and wonder if it's okay to ask the guy. I'll be doing some "research" this weekend...

    My FAV way is when it's a mutual look in the eye, smile, nod, and simultaneous joining on the dance floor. Rare, but most good things are.
  9. BugBear

    BugBear New Member

    By the end of the dance I was leading again. But I could tell her to do that tonight :raisebro:
  10. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    how about sign language..? stand infront of the person go down on one knee and plead with hands clasped under your chin and you're best puppy face impersonation..

    if its still dont work go on to the next phase.. grovelling..
  11. africana

    africana New Member

    oh by all means if it gets those beginner girlies to say yes, the rest of us are praying for your success bwahaha
  12. SurfSalsa

    SurfSalsa New Member

    No No No!!! I have a BIG PROBLEM with the STAND part!! You have to do the run and slide on your knees up to her thingy!!

    Mind you this tread is about ladies asking... so they should do the run-and-slide thingy... better wear jeans if that's your new strategy ladies... could get painful...
  13. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    no need .. but thanks! i'd luv it if ladies say 'no' to me .. a refreshing change! lol
  14. BugBear

    BugBear New Member

    I admire your modesty... ;)
  15. thespina13

    thespina13 New Member


  16. Twilight_Elena

    Twilight_Elena Well-Known Member

    Sabor has always been very modest. It's what we love him for, though it might be the way he looks in white shirts, too. ;)

    Twilight Elena
  17. AzureDreamer

    AzureDreamer New Member

    mmm.... The obligatory "beginner" exchange:

    "Time to dance" (that's 'caveman' for asking)

    "I am really bad" (they can't say 'no', you haven't asked them anything yet... and besides, if you are in a new social situation, you want to be told what to do)

    "So am I. Really, really bad. In fact, I'm soooo bad, I'm down. right. naughty. Just do a basic in place if you don't understand what I am leading, and remember to keep your hands on my body at all times." :raisebro:

    my theory is that beginner's are more worried about being bored on the dance floor than anything else... once you assure them that (a) you aren't going to be judgemental about their dancing and (b) that whatever else happens they -won't- be bored...

    (My other theory is that you can get away with being totally outrageous only as long you are outrageous with -everyone-.)
  18. africana

    africana New Member

    in that case just relocate to a decent salsa scene ;)
  19. africana

    africana New Member

  20. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    I'd love to see africana and sabor dance together one day. :p .

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