Tango Argentino > Question not for Faint Hearted, Do Not Read if easily Offended!

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by spectator, May 1, 2007.

  1. Indiana_Jay

    Indiana_Jay Active Member

    Depends on exactly what you mean by that. Some bodily responses are truly involuntary (even more so for the hormone-ridden, younger, less experienced male). We do however, have plenty of control over what we do after the involuntary response occurs and perhaps that's what you mean.[/quote]
  2. Indiana_Jay

    Indiana_Jay Active Member

    A similar irony occurred to me earlier, but I hadn't mentioned it: I've never participated in a form a dance commonly called "grinding," but from what I've read (even here on DF) some young women who dance this way intentionally press themselves against the guy's private parts, perhaps even with the intention of illiciting the typical physiological response. Obviously, "Spectator" would not be one of those women.
  3. spectator

    spectator Member

    Honey, I don't need to partake of grinding to get a reaction, I just walk into the room...
  4. Me

    Me New Member

    I really don't know. Maybe it goes back to bad memories of giving book reports in junior high?? (Just a guess!)

    I just know that I asked a few of them about becoming 'aroused' (When I was a beginner dancer I too was having a problem with some men during American tango - we were being very badly taught - squat, pelvic contact - you start rubbing down there and even some of the gay students would start erm, poking me.) ANYWAY, when I asked them what they thought, they were appalled. They simply could not believe that a man would continue bouncing against a strange woman once in an aroused state. They thought it was completely, 100% indecent.
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    exactly....makes all the diff...imo...
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I am glad your experience still frames this as a good thing...that is NOT my experience:rolleyes:
  7. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    agree with you IJ. I know 1-2 women I have a hard time dancing with, because they are always being naughty.

    now the difference between most women and most men is in the degree of reaction. the woman screams murder, the man generally squirms a bit or laughs it off and goes on to dance with someone else. maybe the difference here is that the man can simply ignore her next time around by not asking her to dance, so it's easier on him.
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    a woman can ignore him as well...and trust me, I wouldn't scream...he might
  9. spectator

    spectator Member

    No seriously, I have never deliberately tried to do anything like that. I actually think it's a real abuse of trust. By allowing someone into your space you are trusting them to respect you and to treat you as an equal. If a woman starts doing something "naughty" uninvited, I think it is as repulsive as a man doing it. Respect and trust are two way things.

    If this goes on between a couple who are involved off the dance floor, I wouldn't like to watch it, but I don't see anything wrong with it, becuse they do have an understanding and it is both parties' choice.

    If it is an unsolicited one sided action it's bang out of order.
  10. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I don't know if this helps, but male ballet dancers wear an undergarment called a dance belt. I'm female, so no personal experience with it, but my understanding is that it holds things tightly in place and keeps a smooth line. Thus you never see embarassing moments from those guys who wear form-fitting tights. So maybe that's an option for those who have involuntary 'problems' while tangoing?
  11. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    two things i want to say.....

    i. it's no less a violation of a man when a woman does something unexpected. all i'm saying is that on the average, men react to such actions, when they are unenjoyable, by being only very mildly upset.

    ii. re respect and trust... yes,they are two way things. but such actions are a way of expressing desire and interest. i think it's ok the first time, or until you get a clear 'not interested' signal (the whole thing can't take more than a second or two.. just a fleeting attempt is what i'm referring to here). after that, it's clearly unwanted and unwarranted. of course, its preferable to express interest by different,less invasive, means. but in my books, but despite this being less preferable, i think it's ok.
  12. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Sure - in other dance forms, anything goes. In the UK, for example, grinding's been going on for ages - I saw it at the Notting Hill Carnival in the '90s. Salsa / bachata are also more likely that way, and I sometimes think that's the only justification for the "dance" called merengue... :rolleyes:

    And I'm not against the concept either :)

    But anyone grinding to AT is one sick puppy, there's just no reason for it.

    Me too - although the reaction tends to be one of screams and panic-stricken looks for emergency exits.
    But hey, it's a reaction :)
  13. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Look, if a girl is intentionally trying to get a rise out of a guy (pun intended), she deserves what she gets. If it happens without (active) input from her, then she may react in one of two ways: a) ignore it, b) say something to the bloke. Which way she reacts is up to her. If she thinks it's entirely unintentional and the guy is mortified and just trying to avoid the situation, doing nothing is prolly best. If she feels the dude is lecherous, something like, "stop rubbing your junk against me" is probably a good thing to say. :)
  14. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    me too, ladies faint quite away, swoon left right and centre, so I usually take a paramed with me to milongas :wink:
  15. Me

    Me New Member

    Oh baby, where DO you tango? I gotta' get me some of that!
  16. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

  17. Me

    Me New Member

  18. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    don't believe everything you read!!!
  19. nikita

    nikita New Member

    The more unexperienced my dancepartner is, the more distance I put in between us. I would never do any movement, which would let me come close to him.
    With experienced guys I love to dance close. If it might become "dangerous" for the partner, he can slightly correct the distance.
  20. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    ot: nikita

    love your avatar. so funny, so apt!

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