Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by spectator, May 1, 2007.
Found it. http://www.dance-forums.com/showpost.php?p=130694&postcount=22
huh. am wondering if she really knows... the signs... either that, or she's soliciting responsiveness in some way. i just don't buy it...
Well, that's just weird. I don't believe that's reflective of the AT scene, anywhere.
You have to wonder if she's not actually encountering a wallet/set of keys/belt buckle (depending on hey height) or maybe she's tangoing in a club full of teen aged boys...
or maybe she misplaced her ego?
(alright not very nice, but HOW can that possibly be the case...HOW?)
Not even 90% of men are heterosexual, let alone 90% of men who are happy to dance!
um...well...that doesn't negate "occurances"....i suspect she was just prone to a bit of exaggeration....beyond that, well, i think the subject has been more than adequately addressed..IMO, summary = ; unless he is a pervert, ignore it...if he's a perv, ignore him....and most people can tell the difference
Yes been there. Been dancing with a younger woman, and she loved the empowerment. I was way too into her, now I just sort of feel foolish and used. You live you learn I guess.
But it left me confused. Do I just not dance with her anymore because she has that effect one me? Or do I disassociate the feelings from the dance or just dance in an open embrace?
Is this a thread from the dead?
I've had a look at all the responses. And I think they tell you what to do. You dance in an open embrace (until at least you're "under control"). If you cant handle that, make your moves off the dance floor.
Believe me , the more you dance tango, the less of an issue this becomes. Or at least the issue becomes a) daring to ask the girl for a dance in the first place and b) what to say to her after the dance. What happens inbetween is that you concentrate on the dance. If you're dancing AT with your heart, you wont have time to focus on anything else....
Sort of on the flip side of things as a girl, I will point out that there's a lot more leg/crotch contact that can happen than I had realized. I'd never noticed it AT ALL until...erm...something changed that made it temporarily very uncomfortable when it did occur. In a lesson, I suddenly became aware of it happening. Not that he or I were doing anything different, not that I've ever gotten creepy vibes, not that it felt any different from how other men have led things. I just noticed. It happens. (Mostly in "flashy" moves, I will say.)
Just putting it out there as a different point of view regarding the whole "there's never any groin contact in AT" thing.
I like that, although I think sexuality is part of the heart. But I think its a good point as it comes down to self-control and knowing you limits to how far to take your passion.
Interesting and very helpful thread. I wish I discovered it earlier.
In the same situation, I freaked out a little bit, because I started thinking -- was it my doing something inappropriate that prompted it? Maybe on my end, I was enjoying the dancing too much? Or showing it too explicitly? Perhaps, I should hold back more when I am dancing?
Fortunately, I could talk to some good tango friends, and also remember what I have known about that part of a male anatomy from my younger days. It helped me realize that thinking along the lines "who's fault was that?" in the case was quite silly.
The guy was not in his 20-s, he could easily have a son that age. There was not any rubbing or physical contact in that area whatsoever. He was also someone I've known for quite a while. Not at all a pervert, a trusted person, and a good friend. So, I guess, that's why his (edit...reaction)... on the dance floor took me by a big surprise.
It was extremely hard to pretend that I did not notice. But I thought, OK, after all, it is his body, and therefore, his "problem". If I do not plan to participate (and I did not), there is no need for me to acknowledget or discuss it. So when the music stopped, I just said I had to drink a glass of water, and he said "me, too". We separated, drank some water, and continued dancing a few minutes later.
In retrospect, I believe, it is rather amazing, and not necessarily a bad thing... to be able to react like that in a more advanced age, and without any direct stimulation.
No direct contact needed here either, I am in my mid twenties and just embracing a very attractive women who is a great dancer/follower is more than enough to take me off the edge. This is the problem because this excited state interferes with tango, but I am learning how far to take myself in the dance. More aware I am of the that line the more control I will have. Losing control may be beneficial in other situations.
I get self conscious and my focus shifts from dancing tango to keeping my partner is as far away from that area as possible. It's a big distraction not to mention the over excited state.
Funny... I read through the past thread... found my posts... was astonished at my candid use of the "E" word... but still stand by my prior statements.
I do believe that we are what we are, and there are some things we cannot help, and that there are some things we can rise above (ha ha, rise...)
I don't know if that helps...
I'm not an adept of close embrace but optically, if the posture is correct then the woman can't notice.
Speak for your self...
I think there are two issues; one is the man's discomfort in his clothing and its hard to adjust position so it can remain against the body.
Secondly; having experienced this while giving massage I just see it as a reflection of more energy/chi flowing and not neccesarily to any salacious thought processes.
Yeah well I'd like to pretend that ahemm this physical reaction has never happened to me but it wouldnt be true .... (girls all run away with horror)
You are right, we are what we are. I find sometimes it happens when you've been having bad dances all evening , and then you suddenly dance with a goddess who "gets you". All the pent up frustration gets channeled and you become intensely aware of the other dancer - you ask, why her? why does she "get me"? The admiration and gratitude can easily be confused into sexual attraction.
I would refer to this generally as "earthing". Sometimes you build up this reservoir of passion, frustration, whatever and it has to be dispersed. Most of the time, a break and a glass of water do the trick. But not always. Sometimes the energy goes into ones extremities instead
He's making a joke about his endowment. (I'm talking about his inheritance, of course .)
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