General Dance Discussion > Rotating partners- is this a problem for some of you married men?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by wiseman, Jul 16, 2010.

  1. wiseman

    wiseman New Member

    Yes, exactly. But what we're trying to figure out is why rotation is such a big deal in the first place?
  2. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    Unfortunately NY is kind of divided up at the moment, with the good teachers in one set of places teaching privately (and travelling a lot) and the large beginner populations in other places with better classroom facilities. There are occasional efforts to offer a more effective class, but they tend to be small and not to last, because they are an odd fit with the hosting studio in one way or the other.

    Some of the non-ballroom styles do well with classes, but many of those styles have historically had an overall approach more effective than the ballroom studio model.
  3. DWise1

    DWise1 Well-Known Member

    For us? We're just discussing the pro's and con's of different methods and arguing for what we think works best.

    Why for your parents? I still don't think that it's really about rotation or dancing, but rather that it's some old baggage that the situation allows to come to the surface. Baggage accumulates over time in all personal relationships; it's normal. Just try to remember that there are three sides to every story.

    Sorry, but an old joke keeps coming to mind. Why do married women make love with their eyes closed? Because they can't bear to see their husbands enjoy anything.
  4. morgrob

    morgrob New Member

    I have to agree with Dwise... I don't think it is not so much the rotating of partners as it is with your parents.

    But I agree with the benefits of lead and follow.
  5. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I see the benefits of rotating as a) improving one's lead/follow skills; and b) fostering the social dance community. If a couple only wants to dance with each other, they might not care about a or b. Or they might care somewhat, but their relationship baggage overrides it.
  6. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    And you remain opposed to the solution that accomplishes a compromise between the two...
  7. Warren J. Dew

    Warren J. Dew Well-Known Member

    Well, in the general case - not talking specifically about your parents for the moment - it seems that single - that is, unpartnered, not unmarried - students resent couples where the scarcer role isn't "shared" evenly, while couples resent not being able to spend most of their time dancing together.

    Given how strongly people even in this thread feel about the subject on both sides of the issue, it certainly seems like it might be a big deal for many students - perhaps a big enough deal to explain your parents' behavior, whatever the excuses they give.

    As for the reasons why it's such a big deal rather than a minor thing they don't feel strongly about, perhaps that question is better directed at the ladies who have argued strongly on either side.
  8. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I can't speak for the couple in question. I am not sure whether any solutions will work for them or not. Hard to say.

    Personally, I don't "resent" couples. I just don't understand why they would choose a group class that is offered as "no partner required, we will rotate", then they complain about rotating and having to share their partner. Now, if the studio mislabeled the class, then the couple should feel free to change to another class or get their money back and find a different studio. Whatever works for them. When I began partner dancing, I had a boyfriend and we took a group class together. We rotated. It was not a big deal.

    To put the shoe on the other foot, imagine if I signed up for a "partners required" class, but I didn't have one, then I complained about not having a partner! That would be silly.
  9. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    I wasn't speaking of their opposition, I was speaking of yours.
  10. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    My opposition isn't all that important - I've already found a studio and classes that suit my needs, and it sounds like you have a studio and classes that suit yours. Nothing wrong with that. :)
  11. Warren J. Dew

    Warren J. Dew Well-Known Member

    Okay, you don't resent them ... you just want them to stay the heck out of your class. From a practical standpoint, I don't see that as being very much different.

    If your studio decided they wanted to broaden their clientele and increase the size of their group classes, and chose to do that by making rotation optional to make the classes more attractive to couples, how would you feel about that? And why?
  12. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    And I've gone to those, and women will show up without a partner. Because it shouldn't be a big deal if only that one woman shows up without a partner, right? And then they do get mad if you don't rotate.
  13. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    It's not relationship baggage for me. It's that I like dancing with my husband more than I like dancing by myself.
  14. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    Again, I agree...people should follow whatever the class is supposed to class, then you share your partner and observe the rotation...partnered class, don't show up without a partner. Works both ways.
  15. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    Wasn't implying anything about you or anyone, someone else used the term "baggage" in a general sense regarding those couples who have jealousy issues in a rotation, which was the basis for OP's question.
  16. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    I'm struggling to recall if I've ever even heard of a partner-required class being offered.
  17. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member

    Well if one has never been offered in the northeast, then obviously it's never been offered elsewhere. :rolleyes:
  18. Chris Stratton

    Chris Stratton New Member

    I've danced in Maryland, too
  19. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    My studio offered one earlier this year. It didn't have many takers. Their performance classes (for an upcoming showcase) do not require a partner, but they suggest one, if the performance involves partner work. I signed up for a performance that likely will not require partner work, so it didn't matter.

    There are some studios and classes in my area that primarily cater to couples, but they tend to be smaller, lesser known places.
  20. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    This was the case for the ballroom dancing P.E. class offered at my school, when I was in college. I was not involved with dancing at that time. That restriction was one reason -- but certainly not the only reason -- I didn't get into it back then.

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