Salsa > Salsa issue...

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by squirrel, Jul 30, 2004.

  1. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    Hmm, there have been occasions where I asked someone to danced even though I suspected he might be a cliquer (is there such a word? :lol:). They usually turn out not to be cliquers.
    Even cliquers are not safe from MacMoto the Salsa Stalker... :twisted: :lol: :lol:
  2. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    Yes, I avoid them. Not worth the energy. :evil:

    I hear ya, MM! :lol: :lol:
  3. Lita_rulez

    Lita_rulez New Member

    Usually, don't know/don't care wether the follow I'm about to ask is/could be/looks like could be/seems/never was a cliquer or not.

    If a girl looks like someone I'd like to dance with, then I'll invite her.

    Then again, maybe I just don't feel like dancing with the cliquers and I don't invite them unbeknownst to me... ;)
  4. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    cliquer sounds like such a nice word, wonder why it isn't in the dictionary. hehe

    Salsa Stalker... you have a point, some of the cliquers are such nice people outside their group... some really aren't, they just get trapped in the whole aura...

    There is this one particular girl who I don't like dancing with... mints don't seem to be a reality in her life... one time I saw her looking for a partner, I ran, grabbed a beer, started this huge conversation with this guy, and put my back to her :shock: , guess what!? Yeap, she tapped on my shoulder and asked for a dance... :? I accept every time she asks... but God, why does she have to like dancing with me... I've got, Imma become beatless wonder salsero... :D that ought to do it...
  5. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    I used to not care, then I kept seeing how some of this groups treated newbies, and outsiders, then I got :evil: , then an :idea: , now :twisted:
  6. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    She asks me for a dance. Then I say, "wait a moment." I pop a mint, and ask her if she would like one. She says, "No". I say "I insist, I cannot dance with a beautiful lady who rejects me even before we start the dance." I haven't had a successful rebuttal to that one yet?. :)
  7. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    wepa!!!! you smooth my man, you are smooth... any more of those one liners you can give a geek like myself?
  8. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    That's one of those funny/frustrating things, isn't it? Some of them are really nice people on their own but, heaven forbid you get them together with the rest of their "pack"... :shock: :shock: :shock:
  9. Danish Guy

    Danish Guy New Member

    Ouch, this hit the nail didn't it.

    Getting rid of the bored look by putting on a mask doesn’t solve this.
    This is about stopping getting bored, and start having fun.

    Boriken came with some excellent poetic advice as always. :notworth:

    If this doesn’t help, I wonder if you are getting too much salsa. (If such a thing is possible)! Being away from the scene some weeks might bring back the fun on the social dancefloor. But I would definitely go for Boriken’s advice, and take this as a last backup plan.

    I feel like jumping in my car, give you a hug, ask for a dance, :friend:
    (and see if I’m boring too). :oops:

    I hope you find the fun and joy in every dance my friend. :banana:
  10. Danish Guy

    Danish Guy New Member

    Sure, anytime.

    Lot of salsa in Århus for a city of this size,
    Let me know if you drop by.

    I have never danced in Ålborg, but it might be time to change that.
  11. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    I'm really enjoying all the responses here. I thought I'd share a story along the lines of what Boriken was talking about in regards to being open and accepting of others while dancing.

    Some months ago I was out at my local venue and was just exhausted...had sat down a number of dances and didn't feel inclined to leave my seat. Then this girl came up to me...she had come to the club with a few friends (some of which I had danced with before), and I think all them were half lit when they arrived. Mostly they were drinking and acting somewhat goofy...and none of them could really dance well.

    I had already danced with this particular girl once and I was like "man, I need to get up and run...but I'm too!"..but I figured I'd at least be gentlemanly and talk to her.

    This girl, somewhat intoxicated kept insisting that I dance...and wouldn't seem to take no for an answer. Finally I said yes and then proceeded to dance a few Salsas with her.

    At that moment when I said yes and looked into her eyes...something changed within me. Partly it was the sincerity of her request...she just wanted to dance and her self confidence gave my own a boost. Truthfully, she wasn't a very good dancer and a bit wobbly...but even in that state she had presence and I could feel her feminine energy...whoa! It was really intense...and there was a lot of chemistry when we danced...and other people around noticed it.

    I just remember that feeling of when her aura mixed with mine...and the look in her eyes...her smile and totally positive attitude...everything else I had doubted about her melted away as I just enjoyed being with HER.

    Oddly enough, she followed quite well despite her lack of experience and inebriated state. After the dances I was happy and glowing...I had just had "the dance" and suddenly I was rejuvenated! I soon went and started asking more ladies and danced for about an hour straight after that.

    I haven't seen that girl since, but she'll always be welcome to dance with me. So you never know...if you are open to all possibilities...inspiration can come from the most unexpected places. ;)

  12. Tasek

    Tasek New Member

    The booze might have actually helped, I know one or two people who dance better after they've had a few drinks; that way they let go and just dance, and when they're sober they overthink things.
    And a nice inspiritional little tale that one is :)

    I'm committing that one to permanent memory!!
  13. lily

    lily Member

    I've just come back from a dance holiday where I came across the same problem. Most people were in couples and it makes inviting someone a little more difficult when he or she is sitting right next to his or her sweetheart. I know it shouldn't make a difference, but it often does :( (I heard one guy complaining that he had just been turned down by a girl who explained that she only dances with her boyfriend.)

    So what my dance partner and I did was go up to couples together then he'd ask the lady to dance and I'd ask the man. We were always accepted with smiles. Perhaps this is less threatening to them?

    As you said that you have a regular dance partner, perhaps you could try this if there are other couples where you go dancing?
  14. SDsalsaguy

    SDsalsaguy Administrator Staff Member

    Sounds like a great idea lily! :D

    ...and congratulations on your promotion to the "rank" of tradesman too!!! :D :D :D
  15. lily

    lily Member

    Thanks!!! :bouncy: :bouncy: :bouncy:
  16. danceguy

    danceguy New Member

    Hmm, maybe I should start drinking then? :D

    Actually, thinking back that girl's boyfriend was there watching us it was just a dance, nothing more. Some of my best dances are with beginners... :p

  17. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    You said it SG! :cheers: Think of it this way. Take a person who does not know a single salsa step and you got a blank slate. Can you imagine that!?!! What would you want in a dancer? Here is your opportunity to have it, to shine. What moves can you lead? What joy, smiles, giggles can you bring in a 3 minute song. The beauty, the excitement, the enthusiasm of that short time. The wonder, the love, the fun.

    Actually I know some experienced dancers who actually will share some enthusiasm with a lowly beginner newbie like myself. They do their shines and shimmies but if I think it is too much out of hand I take over, and they undersatnd. My offer always stands. If you are bored or want to back lead switch roles and let me be a follower. Let's not do things poorly, but well. One person leads and the other follows. Hijacking and switching roles is fine, but not the cases mentioned before. Note there also are some beginners who are just crap. However looking at them as groups I would say I have better luck with the beginner follower any day.

    As for the drinks...sad but true SG and Tasek. I see it happen way too often to be happy about it.

    See, I enjoy dancing, and want to share my love and enjoyment of the song. So, I naturally will want to dance with those who give back to me some of that enthusiasm.
  18. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    :) Nice advice guys and gals...

    Yes, I do have a partner, but in the club I go to the "We are a couple and dance only together" thing doesn't apply! So...

    About being bored... Boriken said something above about the fact that he doesn't like dancing with this particular girl... well, the same goes for me...

    About looking approachable... in my country many guys mistake "nice and friendly looking for a dance" with "nice and friendly looking to get laid"... so I try and avoid being too nice... it got me in trouble before!

    What about the fact that there are guys I enjoy dancing with, I invite and dontt get invited by them? I got tired of inviting them... :(
  19. MacMoto

    MacMoto Active Member

    I understand what you say -- it's not just your country. But if you start by assuming all guys will misinterprete your friendliness, then you will end up sending negative, "I'm not interested" sort of vibes, and guys will think "Raluca's not interested in dancing with me" rather than "she's not interested in sleeping with me". It's the matter of drawing a line, I think. If guys start hitting on you, then stop being nice to them by all means, but if you want guys to ask you to dance, then I'm afraid you do have to look approachable.

    Well, I just keep asking them, until they have no doubts in their mind that I enjoy dancing with them. And since I enjoy dancing with them, I keep going back for more... having to do all the asking doesn't really bother me (unless I get the feeling they don't enjoy it as much as I do...).

    But since it does bother you, how about just asking them "why do you never ask me to dance?" in a lighthearted, teasing tone (with a smile... don't make it sound like an accusation!). They may get the hint.
  20. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    Well... I did both! I kept on asking them... I used the flirting look and nicely inquired: "Why don't you invite me back?" and got the "I shall invite you" answer... and guess what... nothing changed!

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