Dance Articles > Salsa Rejection: When is it appropriate?

Discussion in 'Dance Articles' started by johnsnjr, May 3, 2005.

  1. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    oh well, it should have been "girl andboy respectively". surely, you are nitpicking? :rolleyes:
     
  2. thespina13

    thespina13 New Member

    Hmm... no smile in my avatar. I oughtta change that. Although right now maybe I should keep it because no smile is a whole lot prettier than the black eye and cheek laceration I have right now. My face has been salsa-baptized.
     
  3. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    No, because if you're trying to put together a tie between a character named Susan and a character named Susie, there isn't one.
     
  4. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    Dick, Dickie, Dickens - oh it's all the same :p
     
  5. boshizzle

    boshizzle New Member

    Oo, I would dance with a good attitude as well then someone who thinks he's all that as well ^^
     
  6. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    will this thread ever end?
     
  7. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Not if you keep adding to it. ;)
     
  8. sexydance1

    sexydance1 New Member

    Having checked the link to the online magazine, it appears that this is also an article from the May 2005 instalment. Therefore, has been moved, like the other one, to the Articles section
     
  9. basicarita

    basicarita Member

    *sigh* I wish this was a mandatory skill taught in "leader class".

    randomMysh, you're from around NYC - where did you say we can find this gentleman? :D
     
  10. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Let me tell my story. For the first time in my life I had to eb really rude/mean...

    I go to a dance on Friday night in Syracuse. An aquaintance, Joe, who does tango introduces me to his friend..Cory...She asks eme to dance so I do a merengue with her. Then she asks me to do teh next one. I say, "no thanks". I don't danec too many merengues. So she says...ok another dance. Then she says she wants to buy me adrink. I say, "no thanks". She insists, so I agree to a bottle of water. I talk with her a little after that...you no...as she got em a drink. Then a salsa coms on and so I danec with her. Later on...I'm watching some people dance. She gestures to me to dance so I go over to her and say I'm watching people dance so, no. She says that she wants to dance and so I tell her there are plenty of other guys. Then later she comes to me and says she is leaving. I ask her why and she says that she wants to dance and is not getting to do so. I say well, I like watching people dance in addition to dancing and that's what I'm doing. She then says that she is going and would like one last dance. I agree and dance with her. Then she tells me she wants the next song. I said no and just walked away. Creepy, almost spoilt my night. Never had this happen to me before. Never!! Ever!!! In my 7 years or so of dancing.....

    Then I walked to the other side of the room and I had some really good dances...so all was not lost... I ended the night on a good night.
     
  11. englezul

    englezul New Member

    You have just met the proverbial princess. All about attention and demands. To put it into perspective imagine the poor bloke who's going to marry her.
     
  12. gte692h

    gte692h Member

    dang, I've been getting shot down lately. I wouldn't have minded some cheap attention
     
  13. tj

    tj New Member

    It sucks when someone else is ruining your night for you.

    Is it possible that she doesn't know the proper etiquette when it comes to dancing? (Yeah, I agree that she might have been interested in you...)
     
  14. Andresito

    Andresito Member

    Was she attractive ?

     
  15. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    hmmm....for a 50 year old she definitely would be considered "hot"! However, for this 30 year old guy the engine remained cold as no key was inserted into the ignition.
     
  16. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Tmi.
     
  17. gte692h

    gte692h Member

    ha! I didn't notice this reply to a post of mine. in '05, I had used the 'zone' approach but I can report that they aren't needed. My overall approach to rejection (and to many guys I am sure) was: ask, get shot down, don't ask again.
    The problem with this approach was that life became predictable for me. I have tended to overreact to rejection and then shut ppl out entirely in the scene.

    Nowadays, I just have the policy of 'shameless asking'. When I have that smirk on my face, and that grin that gets wider as i get rejected, the girls get curious. They inevitably say yes. Often, I'll go back to girls who've shot me down a couple of times and say, 'hey did I pick on you when we were in middle school ? weren't you the girl with pigtails and braces ? is that why you won't dance with me' or anything silly. Some get even more mad, but what are they gonna do - reject me ? LOL.

    the fact is I've seen too many people paint themselves into corners with DNA and DND lists. It destroys the scene - I've experienced that first hand.
     
  18. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    I'm not sure that I agree with this. The lists have nothing to do with the scene - just with an individual. It helps us, mostly guys, have more control over our happiness and what constitutes fun for us. The peeps who get put on these lists are likley the ones who are the cancer in the system, but again, that may not be the case.
     
  19. noobster

    noobster Member

    Yeah but if you drag around a list of everyone who was snarky to you when you were a beginner you'll end up denying yourself a lot of really fun dances.

    I posted an angsty thread about this on salsaforums, when one of the better leaders who had been less than encouraging to me early on started coming around asking for dances. I had this tit-for-tat idea that I should reject him; but honestly he would never have known why and he is a really fun dancer. I don't think carrying around salsa grudges is productive in terms of getting your own dance on.
     
  20. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member


    People get on the lists for different reasons. Simple/graceful rejections will rarely earn you a lifetime membership in anybodys's DND/DNA list.

    Meanness or a negative action - deliberate or inadvertent - will likely what give you a permanent spot in the list and then, I think, I might be better off not knowing ever why that person is so much fun to dance with.
     

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