Tango Argentino > small community issues

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by spectator, Feb 25, 2008.

  1. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    Somehow there does seem to be slightly more of an issue with this in the AT community's. Perhaps it is because of the tandas. And if so, then it is something that will always be encountered a little bit more in AT, and particularly in the smaller settings. However, doing away with all tandas could lose abit of the AT experience. Perhaps a balance of these things would be good :?:

    Hmmm ... maybe I'll try incorpating the following at one of the milongas I host some time soon. Maybe have some single songs for the first half hour, then proceed to two song tandas for the next half hour, and then provide the usual longer tandas for the remaining hours of the dance ... hmmm.

    Anyway, I like the idea of both leads and follows seeking out partners. I know there will be some resistence to this, and this is somehting I encounter in ballroom as well. Also, encouraging the experienced dancers to help with the newer one's is good, but like you say, those that come as couples are often having their nightout together for the week, and therefore it could be ok for the the singles to recognize this. Having free beginner lessons prior to milongas is a smart move, and saving the more intermediate to advanced stuff for the workshop events could be best.

    Thanks a bunch for sharing your views! :D
  2. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    I feel for you. My advice, stay with it. As I said in one post the longer you go on the easier it gets. If you happen to be sitting next a guy, make conversation. Comment on on the music, the temperate, a particular dancer or teacher. Get talking and then ask if he'd like to dance. The majority of leaders do not turn down a dance. And most leads need to see a woman dance to guage her level (sad, but true) before they ask her. Also, target a female lead if you see one. Even when I've just come off the dancefloor tired and sweating and a woman comes up and asks me to lead I'll never turn down them down. (I turn down leads, but never followers). Same ruling applies to other female leads I know/know of also.

    Where are you based (you used the pound note symbol) so am assuming England. If you are/or can to London on a weekend, drop me a PM and we'll hook and I'll introduce some good male leads I know.
  3. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    I'm disappointed that a name was named. True, it's only a first name, yet still seemingly something not quite appropriate about it for me. And I'm also disappointed with the use of langauge in the manner that has happend above. It's true that there is less of a reason to be respectful to someone who is abusing one's self, and yet there can be a way, despite the need for being creative, to side swipe such situations without using similar rudeness.
  4. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    This could be a very good point. :cool:
  5. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    yes...please leave names out and take it easy on the foul talk...there is a reason that we have filters...and it isn't so that folks will take creative license to get around it and still be somewhat lewd...we have minors on the forum...thanks
  6. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    Hmmm ... not all leaders are "jerks". At the milongas I attend in my small community of AT dancers, I ask all follows at one time or another to dance. Even the ladies I struggle with. I am not rude, nor am I a "jerk".

    If you attend a milonga in my area, I'd be happy to dance with you. We need followers just as much as we need leads. :D
  7. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    And the example descibed is worth duplicating which I'll tryout soon at a milonga nearby. :cool:

    Very nice. :notworth:

    More excellence above. :notworth:

    Someone's perfume or cologne could be a smell issue, maybe even smoking, but it could be good to handle this delicately. An explanation of the pain being caused is good. Offers to dance another time, followed up on and fulfilled, can be a good thing as well.

    Probably not a fraud ... these kinds of issues are similar in different dance circles.
  8. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

    Bravo! Very well put!
  9. Cortado

    Cortado New Member

    A lot has been said on this thread about the characteristics of some leaders who will only dance with pretty young things when there is a surplus of followers.

    Although I am a leader and not a follower, I do not personally have a problem with people with such an attitude. If they want to manhandle some new follower around the floor and give her the illusion that she can dance, good luck to them. Some of these leaders will stick like glue to the same person the whole evening.

    As a leader it gives me a bigger choice of followers. The followers see the shallow side of the "good dancers" who abandon them completely for an unknown beginner. The followers have an opportunity to make an impression and earn goodwill with newer leaders.

    I have also been to places where there have been more leaders than followers. I am afraid to say that the situation is similar there. Some followers will only dance with goodlooking guys even if their dancing skills and "level of social acquaintance" are lower.

    Does not worry me either way, you soon get to know the people who are consistent and trustworthy whatever their level of skill, age or beauty.
  10. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I do think the milonga hosts really set the tone and make a big difference. My favorite local milonga is similar; the couple who host it are very friendly and welcoming, and each of them seeks out and dances with the newcomers. There are still a few cliquey folks who won't mingle but the number is small; most people follow the hosts' example. :D
  11. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member


    I get this occasionally from followers at Milongas. And, with the best will in the world, I can't bring myself to appreciate it much, even though I know it's usually meant as constructive feedback. Milongas are for dancing, practicas are for practicing.

    Possibly a little harsh...

    Well, if it's that bad, why not go crazy and, you know, ask them to dance?
  12. MaggieB

    MaggieB New Member

    I was just reading an email detailing a milonga held last weekend in a city not too awfully far from us that hosted a very well known tango teacher that week...

    This teacher did not allow ladies to ask a lead to dance at the milonga. The teacher insisted that they use the Buenos Aires "look" to let the men know you wanted to dance.
    Well, that raised the hairs on the back of my neck... this is 2008 right??? At our small milongas I have to remind the new ladies to not be shrinking violets and to stand or be seen where the men will realize that, YES, they DO want to dance so they think to ask them! There is no way they are going to flirt with their eyes! It might have worked at the particular milonga in question that night because I imagine it would become part of a "game" but I cannot see it succeeding for very long in any open tango community that is embracing newcomers regularly.

  13. dryrain

    dryrain New Member

    I think most guys know women can be choosey and accept it as a fact of life. More women seem to have trouble with the fact that in this situation, guys who are thought after can be choosey too.
  14. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    I agree. One place here at 10pm the milonga is stopped for what is known as Ladies Chance. At this hour for the next two tandas it is for the ladies to ask the men to dance. And yes, even then many ladies remain seated, embarrassed or shy to a bloke to dance, never mind flirting with the eyes. :oops:
  15. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

    And re: the guys that aren't asked? How do they react?
  16. dryrain

    dryrain New Member

    Write on Dance Forum and complain about how unfair it is women don't ask them?
  17. nucat78

    nucat78 Active Member

  18. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    Welcoming the break?
  19. spectator

    spectator Member

    Cheers for all the replies it's interesting to hear people's views on this. For what it's worth I'm glad the tango scene I'm involved with doesn't seem to have those issues, or if it does people keep their complaints to themselves.

    Quite a few people on the email list started suggesting that they organise a load of taxi dancers to keep the ladies happy and to encourage beginner leaders to keep coming back. Have any of you lot heard of this being tried and did it make a difference.
  20. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    maybe names should be drawn out of two hats the same way football teams are selected to play.

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