General Dance Discussion > Storming OFF the dancefloor mid dance.

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by MadamSamba, Oct 10, 2003.

  1. MadamSamba

    MadamSamba Member

    Hi, folks. Just returned from a fabulous night out dancing, but I had something happen today that really upset me. While dancing with a fabulous (and extremely experienced) dancer whom I know very well, he started making faces when I made a mistake.

    He was in a bad mood to start with, saying all sorts of ungracious things about people who bumped into us and the generally pleasant man turned into a real grump muffin. Then, when I missed his lead on an American spin thrice he made the most horrid, nasty face at me, as if to say, "God, what the hell am I doing. You're and idiot.'' He even had the gall to let out a groan of distress.

    By the third time (and having danced three bloody complicated dances with him, at his request) I got so upset (wounded as opposed to angry) that I literally said, "fine, you don't want to dance with me? Then don't" and walked off a very crowded dancefloor.

    As you can imagine, it caused a bit of an uspet and though he did eventually come up and apologise, I'd love to hear if anyone else has had a similar situation arise and how they handled it. Did you stick it out, or stick it to the partner?

    I know I've committed the ultimate dancing faux pas and probably should have stuck it out, but his behaviour was so pedestrian and nasty, that I honestly think I did the right thing...besides, by the end of the night he came up, apologised profusely and admitted to being "an old woman at times when I'm grumpy.''
     
  2. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Just curious. Why did you accept three dances from him, if he was so obnoxious to start? Dance two would have been enough to convince me, and it would satisfy any social obligations one might have.

    Wow! You must be a real spitfire (no offense, spitfire! :D ) I've never walked off the floor on someone, not even the drunk and nasty gropers. I have had someone walk me off the floor in the middle of a dance, though (no fault of mine, other than dance inexperience :? ) and found that to be one of the most humiliating experiences of my dance life.

    I don't know how to answer this one. What does anybody else think?
     
  3. MadamSamba

    MadamSamba Member

    walking off dancefloor

    Hey, Jenn...you're a hoot! Spitfire, eh? Should I change my nick? :)

    I accepted three dances from him because he's generally very nice. I accept how he is and can't do anything about it as I've not walked in his (dancing) shoes...who knows why he is why he is and, frankly, he's such a good dancer, that attitude aside, he's generally an interesting person.

    Either way, I didn't mean to humiliate him, Jenn, and I hope that it didn't cause as much a scene as I thought it did (didn't do it to humiliate him or cause a scene). It's just that a gal can only take so much humiliation before sticking up for herself and I'm not one to smile politely while someone slaps me in the face. argh... I sound like a cow now...seriously, I just wanted to know what experiences other people had.
     
  4. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Hmm. I understand better now. It must have been really infuriating to reach out to be nice to him, and then have him be mean to you. Some thanks, that! :x

    Still can't help much, though, in terms of the walking off thing. I'm just too much of a turn the other cheek person. I'll have to share my jealous wife story one day, maybe in another thread .... Hmm.

    What do you plan to do to fix this? If he apologized last night, he must have known he was in the wrong, so you're at least part way to mending the relationship. If he's a good dancer and a bachelor, it might just be worth it. :D

    Oh yeah, and if he's cute, that makes it even better. :lol:
     
  5. Phil Owl

    Phil Owl Well-Known Member

    Can't say I've ever had this happen to me, but I can say that once there was an instance I wanted to walk away from a person on a dance floor, but somehow restrained myself. It was with a woman who was just so rude and condescending (the type that criticizes your EVERY move and tries to CONSTANTLY correct you and teach you), no wonder hardly anyone asked her to dance that particular night.
    :x :roll:

    But anyhooooooo, to reply to the original post, if someone acted like that towards you, you are under NO obligation to ever dance with them again, but they are obligated to apologize to you.
     
  6. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    Had you guys been practicing for a contest night after night for 3 months and you kept messing up, I can see the frustration build up to the point where he could faintly justify his frustration by acting like an knat. But since you guys were at the club, he needed to take a chill pill. What-ever problems he has in his personal life should be left in the coat-room.

    I'm glad you walked away, there are guys out there that get away with murder because they are thought of as great dancers. In the meantime girls keep getting embarrased time and time and no one is willing to teach them a little humbleness by leaving his sorry attitude behind. I've laughed at my best friend when girls walk away from him. The guy actually stops and screams at girls in the middle of a crowded floor.

    If I was a girl, and a guy thought he could impose on me in a middle of a place where it should be about fun and nothing else. I would take a nice spin and shine my way right out the dancefloor. There are times that the best choice is to not act all, but there are those who only learn by paying them with the same token. Wanna practice, don't do it here.
     
  7. Spitfire

    Spitfire Well-Known Member

    Re: walking off dancefloor

    She's referring to me.

    What I most likely would have done is informed this person after the dance was finished that I would think it would be better that we don't dance again if this person is making it plain that he is having that much trouble. :roll:

    There's others there I'm sure who would enjoy dancing with you. :)
     
  8. dancergal

    dancergal New Member

    Hi MadamSamba, I have to admit, with a shamed faced, that I have also stormed off the dance floor mid-dance. :oops: The dance partner is my boyfriend and I just got tired on all his comments and making faces when I'd miss one of his moves. He of course apologized later and felt bad. I am embarrassed that I did that, but I just can't take it sometimes. I've haven't yet done it to someone else. I dance to have fun, not to be subjected to another's person's bad mood.
     
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes people, boyfriends or otherwise, push you so hard because they think they can get away with it (like on a dance floor. Hmmm. I think that's what boriken was saying. People get away with all sorts of stuff because we're too nice. Nothing wrong with setting some healthy limits, especially with boyfriends :D .

    And don't get me wrong. I'm no saint. I didn't say I've never visualized or even fantasized about storming off the floor and making a great exit. I just haven't done it. Probably as much to spare myself the embarrassment as anything else. The guy is not the only person impacted if you leave him on the floor, right?
     
  10. SwinginBoo

    SwinginBoo New Member

    This similar situation happened to me once. Only my boyfriend left me on the floor because he thought I wasn't dancing WITH him. I guess my attention was wandering a bit. But he actually got so upset, and told me later, because it was right when he had just quit smoking and the withdrawal made him a bit edgy. He apologized profusely after it happened and he realized why he was acting weird.

    Other than that, I've never left someone or been left.
     
  11. dancergal

    dancergal New Member

    Thanks Jenn for that. I do feel bad for my b/f when I do it, but it's true that he sometimes pushes me to the limit, especially when I was a new dancer. He knows better now and he knows I have no problem leaving him on the floor. It really doesn't embarass me at all. I guess I'm too angry at the time to feel embarrassment. :roll:
     
  12. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    LOL! I know what you mean! :lol:

    The time that guy walked me off the floor in the middle of a crowded salsa club, I told him off at the top of my voice, right then and there, with everybody else from our studio listening, and I didn't care a bit! :lol: He disrespected me, so I disrespected him right back! :lol: I think I shocked him a little. Generally, I'm very mild-mannered. :lol:
     
  13. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    Dance Floor Dilemnas

    You're definitely not alone fellow salsa addict with incidents like this. This happened to me only it was at a Salsa studio taking classes where mostly all of the instructors and students were frowning, :? making smart comments :( , rolling eyes :roll: Just awful. I'm not a great dancer but I'm okay. At least I can keep the beat and remember steps. I almost stopped dancing because of it. Needless to say, I changed schools and I'm loving it now. I think mostly people forget to enjoy the dance!
    In my opinion, Salsa is to be enjoyed not used to eject your frustrations out on someone. Making someone feel bad because you're having a bad moment is unacceptable. Check out Fernando's take on it at the bottom.

    Stop Arguing On The Dance Floor!
    By: Fernando Cruz



    Alright, so there I was dancing, having a great time at a local club in New York when I saw it.
    At first, I didn't think it was real.
    The more I looked, the harder it was to believe that I was truly seeing it...
    What am I talking about here?
    This idiot (Ok it was a guy, but at the time he was an idiot!) was there in the middle of the dance floor, so I guess his dance partner made a mistake and right there, in front of everyone, he started arguing with her! He was almost to the point of yelling at her for missing a turn or something...
    That was one of the weirdest things I had seen...but then I was surprised even more...
    I started noticing that more and more couples were arguing on the dance floor because one of them might have made a mistake while salsa dancing. Maybe a spin was missed, or a particular shine was not executed in the "proper" way, or something else.
    The point is I'm seeing more and more people arguing over silly things on the dance floor.
    What the hell is going on?!?
    Listen, salsa dancing is all about having fun, enjoying your time out, being with friends, even as a form of exercise...so why in the world would anyone make it a bad time?
    I've just got the following to say:
    If you're on the "giving" end of the arguing, just remember, it is just a dance! Even if your partner missed a turn pattern that perhaps you've practiced for weeks...it's just a mistake.
    Not only that, how long do you think your partner will want to dance with you with that kind of treatment?
    Finally, don't take what could be a really great night out and turn it into an evening you will both regret.
    Just let it go...
    Now, if you're on the "receiving" end of it, why are you putting up with it?!?
    Don't let ANYONE ruin your night.
    Don't let ANYONE make you feel bad about yourself.
    Don't let ANYONE treat you less than what you are.
    Don't let ANYONE stop you from enjoying yourself.
    And finally remember this...it's not you and it's not your fault if someone you're dancing with has such low self-esteem that they have to criticize and argue with you, they're not worth dancing with or even being associated with...
    Remember, enjoy your salsa dancing, don't make it out to be a chore...it's supposed to be fun.
    By: Fernando Cruz
     
  14. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    peachexploration. PM me! I'm in Orlando too! :D :D :D

    Do you only do salsa? If not, or even if so, we've gotta do some girls' nights out. Yay! :D
     
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah. I forgot. :? Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the forums, and thanks for making your first post! :D

    Jenn
     
  16. Swing Kitten

    Swing Kitten New Member

    I was curious if you two knew each other!! ... perhaps you will! Oh what fun!

    Welcome to the forums peachexploration!
     
  17. youngsta

    youngsta Active Member

    I've never left any woman on the floor. I don't even see how a guy can get mad at a partner. It's a dance! If somebody messes up, IMPROVISE! Dance is my escape from stress.
     
    Phil Owl likes this.
  18. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    Thanks SW!
     
  19. peachexploration

    peachexploration New Member

    I know. It's gets awful sometimes.
     

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