Dancers Anonymous > Tactful Way to Make It Clear that You Are in a Relationship/Not Interested?

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by BM, Apr 3, 2007.

  1. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    wanted to add a bit, even though i completely agree with this.

    even those for whom dancing is dancing, can be interested occasionally in more than dancing with a certain person. at this point, it's hard to know what the right course of action is, and one or the other is liable to be surprised (in a bad way if they are not reciprocating the said feelings).
     
  2. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Here many international students that I know think that American girls are loose, and that the Scandinavians are a little easier. ;-) All sorts of sterotypes abound.
     
  3. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    the grass is always greener on the other side of the river ;)
     
  4. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    I hope that you don't think this way when you become married. :D
     
  5. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I just go to dance...BUT...most of my relationships seem to have started on the dance floor. It was after intentions were clarified off the dance floor that things took off. Start talking...go for coffee or at the after party talk....One cannot really tell when dancing.

    I view the dance as a conversation, really. I talk to many people every day without a spark being lit, without looking for it. If something happened I wouldn't ignore, but would try to clarify to see if what was there was real or a figment of imagination.
     
  6. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    that's exactly how my own BF & I evolved, sadge... both of us focused on the dancing, but when the connection became compelling, we talked over beers at the after-party hot-spot, and then coffee at the after-after-party diner *lol*.
     
  7. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    well, as long as it's ok to think so when not married but just dating ;)
     
  8. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    Lol... just dating. Not when you are in a serious relationship. Although, if you do find yourself looking that way, I would rather the guy break it off without doing anything he might regret first. ;)
     
  9. spectator

    spectator Member

    I'm awful, I've made a vow to myself to stay 'femme sole' because everytime I start seeing someone, I suddenly start wondering if some one better is going to come along.
    I am the worst girl friend in the world!
     
  10. SPratt74

    SPratt74 New Member

    No. It's common to do when you are dating or even in relationships. But if you do this, then you probably need to evaluate your relationship again to see if that's what you want. There is nothing wrong with this. I'm not married, so I'm not talking about marriage just to clarify. That's a whole other ballgame. Just relationships and dating. ;)
     
  11. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the warning.
     
  12. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    lordy...took me 20 years to get to that...and I still know that the answer is NO
     
  13. AngieL

    AngieL New Member

    I just go to dance and (I dont know how) but most of my relationships seem to have started there. Think I would have learned by now.
     
  14. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    meh, relationship disaster is not confined to the dance world
     
  15. spectator

    spectator Member

    Single girls rule, boyfriends suck
     
  16. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    awfully strong sentiments
     
  17. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    When the right person comes along, you will never wonder again if someone better is going to come along. I wondered this throughout 20 years of dating. Married recently for the first time and I KNOW there is no one better than my DH.

    In the meantime, do your thing and don't worry about whether the right one will come along or not. Make your own life.
     
  18. quixotedlm

    quixotedlm New Member

    i've to agree. i prefer single girls myself. and those who have a boyfriend, again i agree with your sentiments - i think they suck. they should just vanish so that i could have girls back to single status again ;)

    i take it that you are single ?;)
     
  19. Zhena

    Zhena Well-Known Member

    I was 20 when I started dating DH and 23 when we got married ... what did I know? (It scares me now to think about it.) But somehow I KNEW, and I still know (did I mention we're going to be celebrating our 30th anniversary in 13 days?). Actually, there were moments of doubt before the ceremony, but none that meant anything afterwards.

    Don't TRY to get serious about someone out of a sense that you "should" be nice to someone or you "should" have a boyfriend/partner/husband. It's easy to get serious when something about that person is calling to you. I'm not saying it's easy to maintain that seriousness once you get there -- just that forcing yourself to be a "good" girlfriend when the feeling isn't there isn't going to work at all.

    So, yes, live your own life. If you're wondering if someone better is going to come along, the one you're with is not the one for you. Be grateful for whatever good experiences came with the relationship, but move on before one of you is hurt.
     
  20. DancinAnne

    DancinAnne New Member

    Congrats on your 30th!!

    And ditto to everything else!
     

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