General Dance Discussion > Taking Ballroom to the Bedroom

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by rbazsz, Oct 20, 2011.

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  1. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Ain't gonna happen if you don't ask them out. ;-) Probably won't happen anyway.
  2. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member

    Sam, I'd agree with that.

    Personally, I think it's a simple or very basic anthropological trigger: risk-mitigation.

    Let's put aside, for a moment, outliers like economics, psycho-social upbringing and self-respect, and the ready availability of prophylactics.

    At the heart of it, men simply do not have the same risks as women do, especially in casual encounters---which men can easily walk away from after.

    Conversely, women have a very real 9-month, not to mention life-long, socio-economic risk if that casual encounter goes epic-fail and produces an unintended or unexpected child.

    (And, to compound the risk: being a casual encounter, going through it without a mate to help out over a long period).

    Seen from that light, it is easy to see a higher level of selectivity among women than men.

  3. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    I didn't include that on the dating thread when I gave reasons why it's appropriate for the man to pick up the check on a date, but I guess I could have. :)

    (My tongue is in my cheek, people.)
  4. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    depending on what percentage of your brain is in the gutter lol
  5. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Women in relationships sometimes like a fair amount of non-sexual affection from their men.. and true you often hear women complain that they can't get a simple kiss or hug or back rub without it being attached to an interest in sex.. but it's not the reason that we dance at all. We enjoy the music and the activity itself, some of us enjoy being in the role of follower, so I guess in that way we enjoy the interaction with men that dancing provides.. but we don't do it in order to be close to men for the sake of being close to men.

    Obviously the bit about most men having a sexual intent in all of their interactions with women is a sweeping generalization and we've already been over why you can't speak for every member of a gender. :)
  6. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    except that you just spoke for women in general :)

    and while being close to a man who can move isn't my primary objective, it certainly is a fringe benefit
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    in addition to that risk is the fact that many men are able to physically over power many women...and so many women are acutely aware of the need for caution with regard to being alone with a man they haven't known long
  8. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
  9. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Good post, wonder! Speaking as a guy: I do not need that dancing for the realization of other interests. I´ve got a mouth.

    And, switching the roles (I like to follow) it would destroy that feeling completely if there was only a trace of something else than music in that moment!
  10. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    In a sweeping generalization of my relationships, when a woman says she wants more intimacy, physical intimacy is most definitely not what she's talking about. She wants emotional intimacy, she wants me to share my innermost thoughts. :rolleyes:
    Oh, the painful moments when she would ask what I was thinking, and I'd say something like "I think this car is overdue for an oil change..."
  11. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    LOL, in that case once actually in a relationship I shouldn't have much problem...I crave emotional intimacy just as much if not more then physical.
  12. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    What if the car is overdue for an oil change?

    People ask me what I'm thinking, then they act like I'm crazy when I tell them....

    I never understand when people want to talk about talking, or talk about feelings for the sake of it.
  13. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    Best I can interpret it is sometimes the lady feels lonely, even within a relationship. Sometimes she thinks I'm holding back, even if I'm not. There is some work, sometimes, at bridging differences in what makes us feel together.
  14. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I think if you look to your partner for everything, you might find they don't meet every need you have. Women need girl friends to get all the talking out. all the shopping, and all the talking. Men just don't think about the same things as women, in the same ways women do.
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Have you considered the possibility that you're actually crazy? :wink: Just kidding!!!

    I know what you mean, though. This is just another example of why it's dangerous to believe generalizations about what men or women do. Each person does what he or she does. Gender plays a role, but it isn't everything. Personality, preferences, upbringing, education, current circumstances ... a bunch of things play into how I behave on any given day. Anybody who assumes that, because I'm a woman, I'm going to do [blah] may well end up sittin on them bricks by himself.

    Funny story. Years ago, one of my older sisters, S, was taking the bus across town to come visit me, my twin and my Mom. She had to change buses at the halfway point of her journey. While she was waiting, she sat on a low, brick wall that was near the bus stop. To hear her tell it, while she was waiting, a really yucky-looking, stinky ghetto dude propositioned her. When she ignored him without a word, he said, "Mmmm hmm! That's exactly why you're sitting up there on them bricks by yourself!" Oh! What a hoot.

    I think both she and he had some truth in their back pockets that day.
  16. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    According to wonderwoman I guess I'm not a man, cause I like talking about my feelings and I like shopping too, lol. No, not gay...but I have come up female dominant brain on a number of personality tests. In some things I'm VERY male oriented (such as spatial reasoning and anything analytically oriented that suits engineers basically) but in others I'm definitely not, for instance my sexual thoughts. (ie I prefer lesbian erotica to traditional porn cause it's more sensual) In the most legit test the results were 60% Female, 40% Male. Some have joked that maybe I'm a lesbian in a man's body, lol
  17. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    I don't mind talking about my feelings, I just mind the expectation that I have deep emotional thoughts going on that just aren't there. :rolleyes:
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I think society does us all a disservice by insisting that we fit into predetermined boxes. We are who we are. Ths assumption that everybody must be ultra male or absolutely girly is just incomplete at best. I think a lot of people are somewhere in the middle. I know I am.
  19. DL

    DL Well-Known Member
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2017
  20. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2017
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