General Dance Discussion > Taking Ballroom to the Bedroom

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by rbazsz, Oct 20, 2011.

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  1. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Yep. That is hilarious, DL.
  2. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    excellent points...and there are more in that family one can make. rich subject, the differences between men & women in the modern age. so many act or speak as if they would prefer there were none...but certainly, there are.

    there's also just the simple "no dating dancers" rule that can be in play for some women, to keep drama at bay. it's a nice approach, so that when someone remarkably special crosses your path on the dance really notice it. :)
  3. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    Yes, those are good points max made...but then it makes it hard to explain why women frequently act in ways that seem to directly contradict, such as going for the "bad boys". :???: Now I hear women eventually come around and after they've had their fun but realize what bad decisions those guys were they will then settle down with the "nice guys" but they are taking large risks in those younger days and some may extensive consequences. :(
  4. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    The Price of Motherhood. Really good book. Super feminist; I'm just warning you up front. And yes, as usual, max has a good point.

    Risk looks different, depending on whether you're wearing men's or women's shoes.

    Honestly, this topic turns my stomach. How to turn my (arguably negligible) dance skill into an easy lay? Blech! Blech! Barf!

    That being said, some folks, such as tt, sami, max, fasc, and probably others I can't recall at the moment, have made it worth the read.
  5. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    OK, correction there. Many young, "nice" men think it's about bad boys. Actually, it's about boys that are assertive and confident enough to actually make a play for them. Sometimes it goes hand in hand with being a "bad boy", but that's not the key characteristic. And it's not that the women come around to nice boys, it's that as they get older, the nice boys finally grow a pair and ask the ladies out. Let's not confuse correlation with causation.
  6. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Can't explain that myself, LC, but, for you, I will ponder and come back and post.
  7. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    bingo. buck up, LC. :cool:
  8. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    That may be, but 30% actually ARE "bad" guys as that's the % of women who will be sexually/physically abused by a man at some point in their life.
  9. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    Please let's not make this a thread about sexual abuse.
  10. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    I edited...I forgot physical was included in that stat. Actually it may have just been abuse of any kind, I can't quite recall. It was a figure I heard in a documentary they showed incoming Freshman about the risks of dating...and I'm a super senior now so that was quite a while ago, lol. I was shocked by how many horrible men that means there is though. Sometimes I feel really ashamed of being a guy and that was definitely one of those times. :(
  11. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    <Sigh>. And of those 30%, how many at the hands of family members? And how many boys were abused? Life sucks, and then you die. And that is besides the point of nice boys that are too insecure to ask a girl out. Having been one of those "nice boys", I can tell you that nice girls liking jerks is a fairy story "nice boys" tell themselves to make them feel better about the fact that they haven't managed to get up the nerve to ask enough girls out so that one of them says yes.

    Do you think those "jerks" get a yes with every girl they ask? No, they just aren't embarrassed to ask, and move on to the next when they get a no. And every "yes" they get builds up their confidence to get through the "no"s.
  12. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    Please let's not make this a thread about physical abuse, either.

    Frankly speaking, this thread has enough issues of its own without piling on, IMO.

    (Am I all alone in this assessment/request?)
  13. toothlesstiger

    toothlesstiger Well-Known Member

    How long before we satisfy Godwin's Law?
  14. DL

    DL Well-Known Member

    <sigh> Not long now that you've mentioned it, I guess.
  15. LCbaseball22

    LCbaseball22 Member

    Hmm, that may be...but there's also science behind it. A while back I read a news article about some studies that tried to prove why it is women will have sex and short flings with the "bad boys" but eventually marry the "nice guy". It had something to do with differences in ovulation cycles and age and a bunch of other factors. Wish I could find the article again but my search is coming up empty. Something else I can no longer find was this great BBC documentary I watched called "The Science of Love" or something like that which broke down all the subconscious details of attraction, like what biological factors influence attraction for men and women and things like what drives us to cheat. I remember it was particularly alarming though how many men aren't actually the father of their children... :eek:
  16. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Yes. When the ex and I announced our engagement, a guy who'd had a crush on me for years stuttered and asked, "How did he get you?" My answer? "He asked." That simple.

    Listen to this LC.
  17. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    they get them to do things they secretly wish to but need sufficient prompting to actually follow through on...? :cool:

    light a match to that fuse for some interesting discussion, lolz.
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    My take? Marry a good guy who secretly wants to be a bad guy and then punish him. Regularly. :lol:
  19. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member

    Actually LC, if you look closely, the premise of risk-mitigation explains it a lot.

    Risk-mitigation in this instance pushes women to look for the "best traits" of the pack (that's why the better-looking guy has---initially---the better chance in any bar. This tends to even-out once the women start talking to the "mere mortals" and realize that there might be something more to that nerd...).

    (Some, many, a few, I don't exactly have a statistic) women are attracted to bad-boys" because of the alpha-traits they exude---and at first blush, it would seem that the "bad boy" has it in spades.

    The hidden problem, of course, is that the positive qualities that women look for in a man---independence, confidence, masculinity, things so obviously flaunted by "bad boys"---is often just a veneer above the twisted version which has been molded to the point of perversion in the same bad boy.

    Viewed through the lens of truthful clarity, women eventually realize (some to their fatal horror) that underneath that positive surface is an iceberg of deeply entrenched defects in character.

    That such men are uncaring of their welfare (there's the s independent trait), have no respect for them and think that the women should do anything for them (confidence run amok, they are the center of the universe, after all) and that they'll chase after every skirt that has the misfortune of being in front of them.

  20. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    My fault. Never meant to say any of that. I said girls need to TALK more than men need to talk. Its not the subject of emotions, its EVERYthing and WAY more than is really necessary.

    I always think of a song from the Music Man... hee...

    Men don't seem to have as much of an urge to verbally express every mundane thought that pops in to their head, in painstaking detail. I might ruminate over some minute detail of a conversation for hours.. What did she REALLY mean by that? Then when I have fully explained my theories I might come up with what I think is a better way of phrasing it, in which case I HAVE to state it. I think its a feminine need to over-verbalize things. It is why a lot of times women need to say and hear the words that men think should be accepted sight unseen.
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