Tango Argentino > Tango Humour

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Dave Bailey, Jan 16, 2009.

  1. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    A friend has contributed an article to my site:
    "The Simpson's Guide To Tango"

    Are there any other Tango humour snippets / jokes people are aware of?

    Any good ones, I'll add to the site. God knows, Tango needs to have the p1ss taken out of it occasionally.
  2. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    Excellent! Although I was a little confused as to whether it was a dialogue or not - I am guessing not...
  3. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Set of "quotes".... Hmmm, I'll fix that to make it more clear.
  4. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I would change "in the night" to "at night..."
  5. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Cor, everyone's a critic. OK, OK, done - but that's the last change.

    Come on, people, let's have some more ideas!
  6. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

  7. Heather2007

    Heather2007 New Member

    Okay, here's a tango Bushism:

    "Why..er...why..um..why do the people always mis-under-estimate my leading?"
  8. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    :confused: I usually leave my SOH at the door ;)

    This is awful - apart from some "joke" dance videos, I cant think of any tango "humour" ...

    Will have to make up some then (hubble bubble.. )

    Dancing with a beginner follower

    One, two, stumble, one, stumble, one, two, stop ...

    Dancing with an intemediate follower

    One,two,three,ocho,four,five,six,back ocho (and repeat ...)

    Dancing with an expert follower

    One, aaahhhh, two, aaahhh ......
  9. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Good one - added :)
  10. UnfamiliarSameness

    UnfamiliarSameness New Member

  11. philsmove

    philsmove New Member

    would you like to join the face book Tango Smiling Group;)

  12. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

  13. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I pity da fool.
  14. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    no mention of "Axis" under Dubya!

    how about the Jedi Knight guide to tango?

    "move her with your mind, you can."
  15. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    It's amazing how quickly that one's dating...

    Because you asked for it :)

    The Star Wars Guide To Tango...
  16. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    the best yet

    now blade runner

    Deckard: She's a replicant, isn't she?
    Tyrell: I'm impressed. How many tangos does it usually take to spot them?
    Deckard: I don't get it, Tyrell.
    Tyrell: How many tangos?
    Deckard: Twenty, thirty, cross-referenced with a few valz and milonga tandas.
    Tyrell: It took more than a hundred for Rachael, didn't it?
    Deckard: [realizing Rachael believes she's human] She doesn't know.
    Tyrell: She's beginning to suspect, I think.
    Deckard: Suspect? How can it not know what it is?

    Batty: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've seen nuevo boleos at the Confiteria Ideal. I've watched Comme-il-fauts glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain. Time to die.
  17. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    A work of brilliance - ah that's made my day (it's a day of small pleasures.. )

    Great , Dave, more more!

    Leia (to Han): "Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited."

    The story of my life :rolleyes:
  18. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    Also excellent - I'm gonna audition for the part! - I think I can spot "move robots" after a couple of glances - but of course that might mean I'm one myself :cool: ...
  19. Captain Jep

    Captain Jep New Member

    Hear you go, Dave - the "Harry Potter's Guide to Tango" (only used "Philosophers Stone" so plenty more to do ... )

    Sally: [puts a hand to his forehead] And who owned that shoe?
    Mr. Ollivander: The shoe chooses the wearer, Miss Potter. It's not always clear why. But I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you. After all, The-tall-skinny-bloke-you-like-dancing-with did great things. Terrible! Yes. But great.

    Dumbledore: Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Tango-in-Action’s advanced tango class. Soon, you and your schoolmates will join us here, and your education in the magical arts will begin.

    Hermione: Now if you two don't mind, I'm leaving Negracha’s before either of you can come up with another secret bottle of wine and get us all killed - or worse, expelled.
    Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities!

    Hagrid: [explaining how to get past Fluffy] You just play a bit of Piazzola and he'll fall right to sleep... I shouldn't have told you that!

    Hagrid: You're a milonguero, Harry!
    Harry: I'm a what?

    Hermione: You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great tango dancer. You really are.
    Harry: Not as good as you.
    Hermione: Me? Books and Ask Maleeva videos. There are more important things: sexy dresses and killer heels. But Harry, just be careful.

    Harry: I swear I don't know. One minute the impro was there and the next it was gone. It was like magic.
    Uncle Vernon: There is no such thing as improvisation!

    Draco Malfoy: Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask you yours. Rats tails in your hair... and a hand-me-down pair of converses... you must be a Nuevo dancer.

    Ron: High boleo!
    Hermione: Stop, stop stop! You're going to take someone's eye out. Besides, you're saying it wrong. It's High VO-leo, not BO-leo.

    Hermione: Neville, I'm really, really sorry about this.
    [shifts her weight]
    Hermione: Full volcada!
    [Neville's arms snap under the strain, and he drops to the floor, frozen stiff as a board]
    Ron: You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant... but scary.

    Hagrid: Blimey, I'd love a good milonga dancer.
    Harry: You'd like a good milonga dancer?
    Hagrid: Vastly misunderstood beasts, Harry. Vastly misunderstood.

    Dumbledore: And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third line of dance on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.

    Sorting Hat: Hmm, difficult. VERY difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?
    Harry: Not El Corte. Not El Corte.
    Sorting Hat: Not El Corte, eh? Are you sure? You could be great, you know. It's all here in your head. And El Corte can help you on your way to greatness, there's no doubt about that. No?
    Harry: Anything but El Corte, anything but El Corte.
    Sorting Hat: Well if you're sure, better be... NEGRACHA’s!

    Lord Veron: Sally Potter. We meet again.
    Sally: Veron?
    Lord Veron: Yes. You see what I've become? See what I must do to survive? Live off a 15 year old film, a mere parasite! Tango Lesson can sustain me, but it cannot give me a choreography of my own. But there is something again; something that, conveniently enough, lies in your underwear!
  20. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Superb - I've nicked that :)

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