Discussion in 'Salsa' started by blossomingsalsadancer, Aug 18, 2005.
You are an optimist. I start asking around for good divorce lawyers...
Yes, men blow up sheep when they don't have sex. That's how wars get started. :bouncy:
And the guy quickly picks up on it. I usually blow off the girl too with some of the same. Like begets like.
I fail to see what the Mr. X incident has to do with you giving out your number. If you interact with people on a regular basis you're bound to run into an occasional control freak, even in platonic relationships. When you do and it makes you uncomfortable, it's silly to generalize to the rest of the dancing population and start coming up with rules to weed out the undesirables. Every one of us is different, and we'll all interpret your signals in our own unique ways.
I personally think that phone is very intrusive and so always ask for an email instead (or send text messages to a mobile phone). If you give your email address instead of your phone number it will certainly help send across the message that you're not interested in "more". Then there's the variety of devices women have used down through the ages to send a subtle "get lost, fiend" message without insulting, such as casually mentioning your boyfriend, or wearing a ring on the approrpiate finger.
That's bull (and neither was the rest of the said motion picture much more enlightened). Some men can't be friends with some women because they develop feelings for reasons that do not appear to be under one's rational control, but the number of people one develops feelings for in one's lifetime is miniscule. The dancing scene is a perfect place to forge many platonic friendships with the opposite sex since you're starting out with a strong common interest, and a noisy club is a lousy environment for developing a deeper relationship that might lead to the development of deeper feelings. Which gives me an idea for another thread...
Why can't friends have sex?
Unless you dance with them once and have serious eye contact/connection that leaves you thinking about them all throughout the week, hoping for the chance that they might turn up at your club again....*drool*
Ain't that the truth. :roll:
:roll: Come on, guys........as I've stated earlier, it's all in the delivery of your words.
When I use this line, I DO mean to keep in contact with the guy, whether I give him my number or ask him for his, at a later date. I just need a little more time to read him from a not-so-far-away distance :wink: ......
.....it's NOT a blow-off, far from it.......it's the beginning of a fair chance to get to know someone.
phone numbers are not always a date.
i got one anyway, don't need to think about others
most of the times i exchange email adresses, and phone just if i need a place to stay over night. (not as youmight think - it's that i can't get home after dance nights, so i have to stay over some place, the easiest is with fellow dancers)
i'm too sexy to read all that.. whats the summary :lol: :lol:
FOr you? be yourself. :wink:
In other words, sexy people are lazy and let others do the work, and they enjoy the fruit of others' hard work :wink: :wink: . Umm... if sexy people are like that it makes them uncool sexy.
Speaking as a guy: Making arrangements with girls that feel they need a dancing buddy for a salsa party can turn out to be difficult. If I happen to be late or even do not show they will be disappointed. The same if I am there and do not dance enough with them.
So when girls want to make arrangements I normally refuse. I tell them that if I am there, then I am there, and if not, then not. I avoid giving out my number and only ask for others if there is no other way (training partner etc.). Works fine.
Actually most girls are puzzled when I tell them I do not exchange phone numbers in the salsa scene. It is the least they would expect from a salsero ... :wink:
EDIT: Yes, I have some numbers. Nearly each of them means trouble ... :twisted:
Very very interesting. I've had exactly the same problem. Girls will ask me for my number with a comment like, "Hey, we should check out some of these places together".
The thing is, they seem to all think that I have to hang around them the whole night and be like the fall-back dance guy when they don't get asked. Even worse is travel arrangements: they expect to go in with me (i.e. carpool, with me driving), which tends to mean that when they want to leave a club early, i'm obliged to give them a ride home when i've still got 2 more hours of dancing left in me :shock:
I'd much rather go as the lone-wolf, only looking after me, dancing with whoever i please and not thinking about anything except putting a smile on the face of my follower.
I've done this in ballroom when going to a different venue than my favorites. I've usually gone with someone who can get dances on their own and who is like minded on how long to stay. That's been a lot of fun, actually, as I got to dance a bunch with a person I like dancing with but also I got to dance with a
lot of other people.
which one? :lol:
To quote Lucy Ricardo: Wah! :cry:
C'mon, I just prefer getting the guy's number as opposed to giving mine out.
- I know a salsero who basically refuses to dance with me but wishes to see me socially. I've already been out with him once socially. (We went for movie and coffee.) We talked until 5 in the morning. I could never date him though. We've already discussed what we each consider appropriate dating behavior and his list doesn't match mine! :? Everytime he sees me he keeps saying we should get together.
- I asked a salsero for his number for dancing purposes only. The look on his face told me he thought I had romantic interest in him, but he had none in me. My feelings and my ego were hurt. :cry:
-Now, I don't give or get numbers. I'm a familiar face on my scene, so where I go, I "know" people. 8)
...and how about them expecting you to buy them drinks all night? :roll:
Is this a date or are we salsa buddies? These are sort of cultural things that transcend On 1, On 2, NY, LA, PR styles.
You certainly can have sex with a friend, but then you're not just friends anymore. It's complicated by your physiology no matter what the fashionable metrosexual crowd leads you to believe. Do a google search for "oxytocin vasopressin".
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