Salsa > The hot & popular salsero

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by SalsaAmore, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    Do you have a business card? You could give him your card, then the next move would be up to him. If he's too shy(or stupid) to call, then it's his loss.
     
  2. The hot/popular salsero=player notion is just a stereotype. If he doesn't fit that stereotype because he doesn't have player qualities, then you should have nothing to worry about. I suppose the question you should ask yourself is whether you'd be happier 1) being safe and avoiding possibly getting hurt OR 2) going for it, living with whatever happens down the line knowing that no matter what happens, you'll have the comfort that when you're old and grey (still dancing salsa of course! :wink: ), you'll never wonder "what if?"

    There's no "right" choice here--it is your heart after all!

    Or if you REALLY want to be more direct, you can e-mail him this thread so he knows how you feel about him! :shock:

    I'm gonna go now before you throw something at me! :twisted:
     
  3. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    I see him once in awhile, but I prefer to stay at a distance right now, because I don't think I want anything from this. I wanted to hear what others have to say about dating popular salseros. But, I like what you had to say. Hehehe :lol:

    I'm not sure if it is a stereotype, blossoming. Check out these articles from Edie the Salsa Freak, I agree with her and would not touch most of these guys with a ten foot poll.
    http://www.dancefreak.com/stories/relationships_4.htm

    But, then again, there are the exceptions, because he doesn't fall into that player type category. I will just have to see. But, I doubt very likely at this point that I want to have anything with this guy. It's just nice the way it is right now, just dancing.
     
  4. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    You never know, though. That "sweet and considerate" quality of his that he seems to exude may be simply a ploy for him to get women. Treat the matter with kid gloves if you are the sensitive type. (Personally, I would dive right in, not wanting to waste time guessing if this guy is a loser or worth getting to know and spend time with!)
     
  5. tacad

    tacad New Member

    Yeah, guys can turn into predators but they don't have to. It depends on the guy, of course. It may depend on why the guy is dancing. On what he wants from it. You just have to find a good guy. :wink:
     
  6. Lofland

    Lofland New Member

    I've always loved that article of Edie's. My goal in life is to become one of the guys with that kind of lead that women can't resist. I wouldn't sleep around (much, haha), but it would be so awesome to know I had that kind of power and ability.
     
  7. tacad

    tacad New Member

    :lol: Careful! You may find a hot, powerful, salsera along the way. To quote Sagitta, like begets like.
     
  8. itorres

    itorres New Member

    This what we have so far:
    He's hot and sweet but you're unsure if you want to pursue this.
    Also, You "doubt at this point you want something serious with this guy"

    What is the problem? :roll:
    That the hot salsero thing will make it difficult to share him later with other dancers, or that you don't know enough about the non-dancer side of him to see if you're compatible? If it's the latter you just need to get to know him better. If you don't want to do like Cocodrilo says "and dive right in" :) , I'm sure you can get into some conversations in the club while sharing a drink or whatever and get to know him better.

    You say "if he stops being shy, whoa"
    Then give him some slight flirtation and encouragement. Shy guys almost need runway lights and arrows to show them "this way, over here!" :) I also understand some women like being pursued (the guy being the Alpha male) and not having to be the initiator

    You say "I can suggest a move, but for now want it like it is cause i'm not sure"
    The best way to be sure is to get to know more of him. You don't seem shy, but if you don't want to go directly to him you can ask people that know him about him...

    You say he's not a hot salsero stereotype from what you've seen. I agree you should treat people on a case by case basis, the "don't judge a book by it's cover" thing.

    In summary, it seems what you've seen so far attracts you so as not to dismiss him. Again, what's the problem?
    Just try to get to know him. If he passes all your requirements, only then would you worry about the problems the hot salsero thing brings along.

    Another thing I'm curious about: this flirting has been going around for months, you say girls like him because he's sweet (meaning he doesn't hit on them?)... Does he have a SO? :cry: Does he like women? :shock: Not that there's anything wrong with that.. :lol:
     
  9. Indiana_Jay

    Indiana_Jay Active Member

    I love the "runway lights" analogy. This is EXACTLY how I am! I'm really lucky to have found the wonderful woman I did and that she agreed to marry me, because it was always impossible for me to believe that subtle flirtation was actually meant for me.
     
  10. Pebbles

    Pebbles New Member

    I think taking it slow is a good idea. If you go after him, you are probably not the first woman to hit on him, or the last. The forward approach may not be that good unless you are confident of beating out the competition, all the other women who hit on the hot guy. You had a wonderful dance with him, that is great. He may or may not have any intention to take it beyond the dance floor, time will tell.
     
  11. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    Yes, you're right with some guys that "sweet and considerate" personality is a way for them to smoothly move in. With him, he has a pretty good reputation amongst the salseras here. He's definitely not a loser, but he's not anyone I prefer to get closer to, right now. Quoting a friend of mine - "I wouldn't touch any of the "major" fish in the pond, if you get what I mean. If he thinks there is something more to our flirtation then I rather let him make the first move other than in a "hot" dance. And, then I can consider it more IF there is more to consider.

    It's the "major" fish problem and he's a regular salsero in the same scene. I throw caution to dating anyone who's a regular. In case, it doesn't work out, things get complicated and uncomfortable.

    These are all good suggestions. But, the x factor is what I said above. I like the runway lights analogy. :lol:
     
  12. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    He use to have an SO, but don't know what's up now. He hangs out with another regular salsera, which I'm wondering if there's more to it. But, he danced that really close, I mean really close dance with me in front of everyone and her, so it makes me think they are not an item. Maybe not yet. They could be starting to get to know eachother better hanging out. I'm not sure. If there's more to our flirtation, then I would prefer he make the first move. If he doesn't, then in a way, it's safer for me that way.

    I agree, entirely.
     
  13. Matrix

    Matrix New Member

    this question sounds more like: "would you give it up for free to the popular salsero so that you can social-climb in your local scene, regardless of the cheating, mistreatment, mistrust, carelessness and neglect that you will have to put up with sooner or later?"


    MY ANSWER WOULD BE: if you really need to social-climb... go for it.
     
  14. tacad

    tacad New Member

    :roll:
     
  15. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    SalsaAmore-
    Let us know if & when you decide to make a move! 8)
     
  16. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    Interesting question.

    A friend of mine has a "thing" with one of the most popular and best known salseros in the wide world. Yes guys and girls... the kind of guy you mention when you say "X is coming to my city" or "I wanna have a private lesson with X" or "I have X's DVDs"...

    Interesting for me... as I wouldn't have done it in a million years. My question is why would one want to get involved with a "famous" salsero... except if one wants to get hurt... :(

    But I am not judging her... she is an adult... but I am afraid she will be hurt.

    I say go for it, SalsaAmore... and good luck!
     
  17. aimerrouge

    aimerrouge New Member

    Do be careful, but I would offer this:

    I've been guilty of dancing "really, really close" to people I have no romantic interest in. Is this wrong? To some people yes. But for me, it's just the music moving me.


    Would you let us know what happens?
    :D
     
  18. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    I don't see why you should feel guilty about dancing too close as long as you haven't treated her like an object. May be a lot of people dance pretty close to those they've romantic interest in. But a lot of people also dance close because they feel safe with each other and they really get into the music.
     
  19. aimerrouge

    aimerrouge New Member

    First , I'm a girl. I probably should have specified that. :oops: :D

    Second, I've found that many people are so uncomfortable with being physically close in general, that the only time they think it is appropriate is when one is in the company of a (potential) romantic acquaintances. They think others should do the same. :roll:

    I've had to explain to many people, dancing doesn't have to be sexual.
     
  20. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    I should have looked at your signature :oops: :doh: But my comments still applies. Yes dancing doesn't have to be sexual, but you can't help being sensual when you dance salsa; and I think there is a fine line between being sexual and being sensual. Many people don't explore the sensuality of salsa, but focus more on being acrobatic. Do you initiate dancing close to your partner? Thus far I had only two girls who initiated dancing too close to me; and no they weren't drunk :wink: .
     

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