Salsa > The hot & popular salsero

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by SalsaAmore, Aug 22, 2005.

  1. Vin

    Vin New Member

    Sexual tension on the dance floor, or anywhere for that matter is simply fun. I enjoy dancing close with someone I find attractive, even if I am not interested in her, the playing around that there might be something there is still fun. I think most people enjoy that interaction. I don't see any reason why anyone should feel guilty about expressing attraction as much or as little as they are comfortable with.

    I don't think you should worry about other people taking things the wrong way, if you flirt with someone and they think you are interested, if they are interested or simply enjoying the interaction they will let you know it. At this point someone will up the ante, if it ever gets to a point where one party is uncomfortable with it or reading more into it than there really is it will come out.

    Basically what I'm saying is one shouldn't feel guilty about being flirtatious on the dance floor or anywhere else, this is supposed to be fun.

    Getting back to the hot salsero discussion I think it would be monumentally stupid to not date someone "because" they are a good dancer, or popular in the scene. I say give him a chance but maybe take it a bit slow, if he's interested enough he will be ok with a slow pace, or is it the slow pace will cause him to be interested enough, that's a discussion for another board.
  2. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    It wouldn't make a difference for me socially, either way. I wouldn't be more or less popular dating or not dating him.

    This applies to the typical player type salsero, but like in my posts, he's not typical. The hesitation is more about the propositions by other women and the fact that he's a regular.

    I would probably wait for him to make the first move, but if something crazy comes over me and I do make the first move, then I will definitely let you all know. :D

    I agree, it could of been the moment, the music, the inspiration. I don't want to make more of it. It was fun and it was hot. I'm gonna watch carefully next time when he's in a close embrace with someone else. Then, I'll see if he dances like that with some of the other girls. Hehe.....And, yes, I will definitely let you all know.

    Again, read the article posted by Edie, the Salsa Freak, which explains my hesitation and which is something I totally agree on. But, then again, as mentioned before, there are the exceptions. And, if there is something more to this....we'll see. Slow is good....for me. :D
  3. Vin

    Vin New Member

    I have read that article and with all due respect I think it is bit alarmist. Yes there are some players in the scene but we shouldn't judge everyone by the actions of a few. There are players everywhere.
    Following this line of reasoning, we would be advised against dating anyone we found attractive. While I know people who do hesitate to date anyone they find attractive, I find that ridiculous.
  4. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    Because we don't always have the complete knowledge/information on some things in life beforehand we've to take some level of risk, if we want to get anywhere. Wise people say that many people don't fail or succeed because they never try. Some are overly cautious because of their past experience--one bitten, twice shy; but because the relationship has failed once doesn't mean that it is doomed to fail again. In order for the relationship to last it takes more than just physical attraction, which is naturally important for most of us in the beginning. It requires growing for both the parties involved, learning and unlearning. There is no end to learning and growing in relationship just like in dancing. We bring our own fair share of baggage in our relationship which we've to get rid off; similarly in dancing we bring our old bad habits that we've picked up and we need to break those habits. I don't think that there is any mystery and secrets to successful relationship; it's a matter of doing what we know, using well what we've. Most of us can separate rights from wrongs, but we don't always do what is right.
  5. HM

    HM New Member


    It's so true
  6. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    Vin, your point is taken. But, sometimes for a guy to understand a woman's hesitance or caution in dating certain men like popular salseros is difficult. You would have to fill the shoes or would have had many women friends you've seen gone through hell with certain types of guys to understand that part of a woman's psyche. I don't think Edie, the Salsa Freak's article is blown out of proportion. I don't think it's easy for people to understand by reading an article. You really wouldn't know what's out there, unless you've come across those types of people or know people who has. Those types of players exist in larger numbers then you think. Nothing personal and no offfense, it seems in your choice of words, that maybe you haven't had that kind of exposure. But, I could be wrong.

    That's a lot of wisdom in what you wrote. But, you are the first person to say that there is no mystery or secret to a successful relationship....I've only heard how difficult it is to work on relationships from relationship experts or people who have been in long-term or short-term relationships. I'm not being sarcastic when I say this, but you should write a book or an article here on DF on how it is no mystery and no secrets to a successful relationship. I think your positive approach would be helpful to many.
  7. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    Thanks. I don't claim to be an expert in this department; I was just sharing my views. By saying that there is no mystery or secret to a successful r/ship I don't mean to imply that it (long or short term) is an easy task. Without tender care and nurture how can you expect a plant to grow and be fruitful even if you get the best seed. And same goes with any relationship.
  8. Vin

    Vin New Member

    Oh I've seen the hesitation, believe me. But here is the catch 22, most of the good guys, the ones you want to date will take that hesitation to mean disinterest, whereas most of the players will recognize it for what it is. The fact that you feel very attracted to someone sets off your player alarm.

    I not saying you should sleep with him on the first date, but you should give him a chance to show you who he really is. If he is really a player on the scene you would have probably heard about it by now, unless he is really sly, but those sly dogs are very rare.
  9. nikita

    nikita New Member

    If you want to have an affair- go for it :lol:
    If he would like to date, he would probably act differently :wink:
  10. dancin/dj

    dancin/dj Member

    hello salsamore, im not known to dance around subjects(not anymore)if this fellow is as u say he is-you'll get hurt :cry: ,sorry a lot of people dont like my style but i tell it like it is(im a former player- the fact that your torn-one part of you does not want the pain-hurt etc-and one part wants the (passion excitment of the deal) welcome to the club, but he'll play ya and move on, trust your female instinct find someone else to play with :) some people readin might say how can u not give the guy the benifit of the doubt? cause we got players out here and having been one u dont know and your naive period :!: (a real man does not mess with people like there throw away mind u (if you have a mutal agreement with someone and u accept it its your fault if u get hurt-mutal what? poo day tang-hip hop lingo for sex.i dont blame guys when there up front on what they are.
  11. aimerrouge

    aimerrouge New Member

    I try to gauge my partner before I initiate getting close. Some guys invite you with their eyes.:friend: In my experience, these are most playful and fun guys to dance with. I'm prone to loud laughter during these dances. :oops: :lol:

    The guys that don't want to get close, for whatever reason :eyebrow: , keep us dancing in a "open position" and dance only one song before moving on to the next partner.
  12. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    A fling or an affair sometimes is easier then a relationship, but that's not for me. I guess it could be easier that way in order to avoid the emotional stuff, irritation and stress of seeing other women coming onto your guy. Or, the arguments that ensues when your guy is holding that hot salsera in a closer embrace than you would like.

    As I mentioned before, he is not the mover type you might be referring to that "acts differently." He seems to be more of the kind of guy that likes to make friends with the girl from what I've seen.

    Thanks for the insight and a clearer picture of how the players play. This is great info for us women out here who want to know more. Some of your friends will probably kick you in the rear if they heard you sharing secrets, but could you elaborate more on this topic. As a reformed player, could you tell us more about the games and how it works so that we can learn and prevent future heartbreak. If you care to share that is. :wink: :)

    As an update to how things are going, yeah, there are a lot of factors involved in dating a popular Salsero and I am one to anticipate problems forthcoming. I was watching him dance the other day. And, his style is seductive. I'm thinking would I ever want to deal with a popular salsero like this day in and day out. NO! Do I want to deal with the many propositions he gets. NO! Besides, we haven't danced much lately. Maybe, I've been staying away and I just want to be an observer. Maybe, I just wanted to keep the distance and play it safe. But, in any means, I prefer the distance as it is. Also, recently, there's this guy I have been seeing that is back in my life. It's been one of those on again, off again relationships. So, this popular salsero is out of the picture for now. :wink:
  13. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    No more SA df soap opera? :(
  14. tacad

    tacad New Member

    I'm taking notes on how to be a playa! :mrgreen:
  15. SalsaAmore

    SalsaAmore New Member

    Probably not for awhile, unless this on again/off again relationship is off again. :lol:

    You don't want to do that, Tacad, do you? Remember, what was said before "Like begets like." :wink:
  16. tacad

    tacad New Member

    Just kidding. :wink: And you're right. I don't want to do that. Being a player is not what it's about.
  17. Medira

    Medira New Member

    Besides, you're too sweet to be a player...
  18. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    "Being sweet" is one of the key ingredients in the Training Manual of Player. :wink:
  19. Medira

    Medira New Member


    I'd like to think there's a difference between player sweet and genuine sweet.
  20. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    Of course, there is a major difference between the two in a long term. But when a desperate, vulnerable victim meets an experienced player who's mastered the Tao of Player, he/she can't distinguish the two; he/she is blinded by the "player sweet" dressed as "geunine sweet." By then harm is already done.

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