I don't think you should automatically take all that on your account. Most of the time it is the situation on the floor that makes leaders tense and uncomfortable, then it could be unfamiliar music, bad night, something he ate beforehand... If the partner is wiggling too much the way you described I sometimes ask: "Are you OK? Is everything fine?" There might be something that is bothering him indeed, and if there is I can also suggest "Do you want to sit down?" . There is nothing wrong with that, he will see that I care, and perhaps we can try again in the future.