Dancers Anonymous > The Whining thread

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by chandra, Oct 19, 2005.

  1. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Yep. It's the same, except the word quote is now in capital letters.
     
  2. lynn

    lynn New Member

    um...i don't even know what *syntax* is - sounds familiar though....
     
  3. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member



    I guess you've never done any computer programming, then, huh? That's cool. But the original meaning of the word, unless I'm mistaken, had to do with the rules that apply to any type of language, not just computer languages. So you probably heard the word in grammar or English class in school. :cool:


    From dictionary.com

    1. The study of the rules whereby words or other elements of sentence structure are combined to form grammatical sentences.

    a. A publication, such as a book, that presents such rules.
    b. The pattern of formation of sentences or phrases in a language.


    2. Computer Science. The rules governing the formation of statements in a programming language.
    3. A systematic, orderly arrangement.
     
  4. lynn

    lynn New Member

    oh, yeah, i'm pretty computer-illiterate... i took a programming course when i was in high school - i had to whine/complain/bribe the teacher to pass the course....:oops: ..
     
  5. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    *giggle* Whatever it takes.
     
  6. Purr

    Purr Well-Known Member

    It's the same manager.

    Maybe, but I get so tired of being the go-to person for everything. Sometimes I wish people would manage to figure out things for themselves, or at least bother someone else other than me. Again, where is the help when I need it??!!
     
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Strike two.
     
  8. lynn

    lynn New Member

    i think undertrained workers is a very common problem in work places - it's those who decides to better themselves that try to figure out things and eventually become the "trainer". Sometimes asking someone else is a lot faster than try to figure out the problem - then the solution.
     
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Sadly, it's also often the person who gets the job done who's "rewarded" by getting to do it ... again and again.
     
  10. lynn

    lynn New Member

    oh, yeah, that's the reward of being a hard worker - more work!! and pretty soon you'll be labelled as a "workoholic".....
     
  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    That's one possibility.

    Did I ever tell you about the time (many moons ago, before I took assertiveness training) that one of my managers said, in my presence no less, "Give that assignment to Jennifer. Jennifer won't say no." Grr. Not long after, I signed up for assertiveness training and starting saying no just for the heck of it. :lol:
     
  12. lynn

    lynn New Member

    assertiveness training??

    honestly, that's the major problem i have right now - i have no idea how to say no. Last week, i was stuck in the office till very late hours (btw, we don't get O/T!) finishing up work that are really nobody's responsibility - apparently, all the orphan assignments always end up on my desk! One of my co-workers joked and said i'm the "office utility"..... i guess sometimes when you help our a fellow co-worker, they just take you for granted.....:( :( :(
     
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Check out a book (an oldie but goodie) called "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty." That's where I started. It gives a lot of good advice and some usable scripts that you can practice in advance. :cool:
     
  14. lynn

    lynn New Member

    the title sounds interesting!

    But i'm quite puzzled by how can people say "no" in a workplace. I can understand if it's a personal favour, but @ work, aren't we paid to "work"??? I guess for me, saying things such as "i'm busy" just signals poor time mgmt skills....
     
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Run! Get a copy of that book. lol I'm only partially joking.

    Work or no work, if you don't set limits, you're going to get taken advantage of, in my experience. The nice thing about the book is that it gives scenarios -- work, family, dealing with clerks in store, etc. So you can choose the approach that works best for your situation.

    Warning, Becoming assertive is hard work. It takes courage. And it takes years before the responses become automatic. However, the quality of my life improved dramtically, and saying no got easier every time I did it, for quite a while.

    You're worth it.
     
  16. Shooshoo

    Shooshoo New Member

    It needs practice, because you don't want people stepping on you. I think I have been able to say no by experience, and trial and error. You'll never be fired if you say no, if it's sensible and you're doing a good job otherwise, it'll be accepted. To progress in work one also has to have a mind of his own and stand up for it.

    In my personal life, I've managed to reach a balance of doing stuff for family/friends if I feel good about it. People take advantage of others, even if it's unintentional. So I always try to evaluate, do I feel sorry for myself and forced to do it, then I don't do it. Or I think will this person do the same for me, if not, then i don't do it. So I usually do favors only if I really feel like doing it and I know I'll not pity myself and if the other person is worth it. I think most people think like this, more or less, but then there are the manipulators who try to take advantage of the generous. So I'm only generous with the generous. BUT time to time, I still get the GUILT feeling and I just don't like it.
     
  17. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    Exactly. It takes a long, long time.
     
  18. Purr

    Purr Well-Known Member

    I think I need to sign up for assertiveness training. And I must look for a copy of that book the next time I go to the library.

    I've started work on the Power Point training. I brought in my reference books from home, and I have my notes from when I took the online Power Point course. Mind you, that online course, and a number of others, are free and can be taken during normal business hours.

    Oh, and the manager has said something about wanting me to develop statistics training and jurisdiction training. Fun, fun, fun.
     
  19. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    I've been teaching a small group of tangueros for a couple of years. Now one of these people is organising a dance festival at a local club and has invited a teacher from another town (also a friend). I am outraged



    ....and planning my revenge....
     
  20. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member


    He/she didn't even tell you that they were planning something?
     

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