Salsa > Turnoffs at the start of a dance

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by dickda, Aug 13, 2005.

  1. ash88

    ash88 New Member

    At the end of the day, I wouldn't worry about a partner offering you advice on the dance-floor because you ultimately have the choice never to dance with them again. I try to get as much satisfaction as possible out of the dance, no matter who the follower is.

    I had a follower tell me that i did a turn pattern wrong because i finished it with a hair comb instead of with a hand flick. I thought to myself, "Huh? I'm improvising baby, I can do whatever i like at the end of the pattern because i'm in control of my dancing and don't need to stick to dance-school set turn patterns".

    But on the outside i just smiled happily, and kept on dancing.

    Just smile and try to have fun.
     
  2. Pacion

    Pacion New Member

    As the saying goes, it is not what you say, but how you say it :wink:

    :lol: This reminds me of a discussion I had with someone fairly recently about "things people say and what they may be implying". He said his father told him, "just nod and smile"... :D
     
  3. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    Ditto, and ditto and ditto. :)
     
  4. randomMysh

    randomMysh New Member

    If someone squashes my hand while dancing, I wiggle my fingers a bit--that usually makes them aware of their death grip without me having to say anything. Of course, that does not apply to the really really beginner dancers. With those, I generally tell them that I prefer a lighter hold, and the vast majority will accomodate that. I just don't dance again with the ones that won't.
     
  5. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    I actually like a very light hold. Many ladies aren't used to it... :?
     
  6. diputs

    diputs New Member

    Do women find that men tend to grip too tightly? I am finding the same thing with women, but I think it is a beginner thing. I am starting to be able to deteremine the level (beginner level) of the dancer by how she takes my hand.
     
  7. Ms_Sunlight

    Ms_Sunlight New Member

    Ah, the lovely Ninja Death Grip. It's more common in open position, where the bloke will typically let you lay your fingers agross his as is proper, and then clamp his thumb down like a vice, until you feel that you are likely to have circular marks on the backs of your hands the next day that will be very difficult to explain away at work!

    I think it's a teaching thing, frankly. Around here most salsa is taught in group classes, run on a drop-in basis. It's impossible in that situation to make sure everyone has good technique from the beginning. I know myself that I've picked up poor habits that I have to work to shake.
     
  8. lynn

    lynn New Member

    i too, think it's a beginner thing. I usually don't grab onto my partner's hands too tightly unless 1) we're about to collide into someone and i'm trying to pull him forward (yes, i know, it's not the proper way to do it) or 2) i'm too concentrated on my footwork and forgot to pay attention to my "death grip".

    For men, i generally find that after a couple of class, they start to be more relaxed and their grip loosens. Never had any of the "holding" problem with intermediate+ dancers.
     
  9. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    It happened to me only once. I didn't mind at that time because I was a beginner (although I wasn't holding her hands tightly using my thumbs like some beginners tend to do) and she's a pretty good dancer. I seldom have problem with the hand-hold; sometimes I've to correct the beginners when they grip on my hand so tightly that it makes it difficult to turn her or myself. I don't like dancing with control freaks; I rarely encounter them though which is good.
     
  10. lynn

    lynn New Member

    Is it me or is it generally considered rude to try to correct a fellow dancer on the dance floor? If either the leader or the follower is trying to tell the other person what they're doing is wrong, does it in a sense mean one party is "assuming" they're better than the other? The way I see it, if the hold (or whatever goes on) is serious enough to result in bodily injury (or anything uncomfortable) then yes, you have every right to voice your concern or else i really don't see the justification.
     
  11. africana

    africana New Member

    I agree lynn
     
  12. tacad

    tacad New Member

    One woman kept placing our free hands (my left her right) in a "swing dance"
    position. I didn't ask why but I kept thinking of this thread during the dance.
     
  13. Sagitta

    Sagitta Well-Known Member

    hmmm...I would play with her and start placing hands in all sorts of funny places.
     
  14. tacad

    tacad New Member

    :lol:
     
  15. SurfSalsa

    SurfSalsa New Member

    Good teachers - like Mario in London - will bring this point up in each and every group class - twice a week as well. "Guys, think of picking flowers, not driving trucks..." something like that, he always says...
     
  16. SurfSalsa

    SurfSalsa New Member

     
  17. alemana

    alemana New Member

    agree. resist the urge unless you are physically uncomfortable/unable to dance. if you are corrected, do not argue. smile, get through the dance.
     
  18. lynn

    lynn New Member

    Yep, as a general rule of thumb, unless the leader asks me whether or not he's doing a move right, i won't say anything. If I don't like people giving me unsolicited advice on the dance floor, i refuse it to do it to anybody else as well.
     
  19. kdogg

    kdogg New Member

    Rudeness in correcting a fellow dancer depends on the manner in which it is done. Correcting doesn't have to be about explicitely proving your partner that he/she is wrong and you're right; that would definitely be rude. If a dancer is secure about himself/herself, he/she shouldn't take it personally; rather he/she should be open to improving, especially when you're a beginner. So the issue here is arrogance. We all could use less of it, and more of humility.
     
  20. lynn

    lynn New Member

    i agree, having the right attitude makes all the difference. The biggest problem i have with people giving me advice on the dance floor is that sometimes the advice is in conflict with what my teacher teaches (this is esp true if the person i'm dancing with is not an advanced dancer) - but this is perhaps just me.
     

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