yeah, change involves releasing old patterns to make way for the new... and grieving can be a very big part of that... i've grieved an ocean in this lifetime... but i always made way for an ocean of happiness by doing so. i wouldn't say it has made me more heartless... quite the opposite. IME, grieving can feel like you're dying along with the object of your grief, but one doesn't... as long as you release every drop of it, you make it to the other side and there is only emptiness, into which you can fill all manner of joy. and then, change can also be like decluttering, emptying out all the way down to only what's essential & beloved in your life... i used to help people declutter, and i know that if they don't do it quickly enuf, they start to get bogged down and overwhelmed. it sure does help to just make the decision & go for it, like ripping off a bandaid without thinking too much about it along the way!