Some really excellent posts on here. My experiences: 1. At the dances I attend, some couples mingle but the majority don't, and they give off an unapproachable vibe. So I do not feel comfortable going up to a couple sitting together and asking one of them to dance - especially as a female. I don't want the evil eye from the guy's wife/girlfriend. 2. Leaders, this rant is for you! Since most dances have a surplus of women, it is up to the leaders especially to show courtesy and act like gentlemen. I am sick and tired of sitting out too many dances (and seeing other ladies do the same) because many leaders will dance only, and repeatedly, with the hottest or youngest women, or only very advanced women. Yes, guys, I know you're human, but if you just want to meet 'hot' girls, go to a bar or to any event that is specifically for singles. And if you only want to dance with very advanced women so you can practice lots of flashy moves, then find yourself a regular partner who has those skills. I want to point out that I am not unattractive or a bad dancer. No, I'm not 25, or a size 2, but neither am I old or fat. I dress well, I am complimented on my appearance, I am friendly and I smile, and although I am not advanced, I am told I am a good follower and can do most dances competently at a beginner/intermediate level. Maybe some of the guys assume that if a woman is not young or thin, she won't be agile enough to dance really well? Not true! I have been dancing my whole life, I am in perfect health, and I'm still just as flexible as when I was a teenager. There are many, many women like me who are frustrated with some of the leaders' attitudes. One of my teachers does it the right way. He is an excellent leader, able to adapt to different followers, and plus he's tall, so basically all the women want to dance with him. If he wanted, he could spend the whole evening only dancing with the hotshot types, but he doesn't. He makes a point of scanning the room for women who have been sitting a while, and asks them to dance. So leaders, please...the ball is in your court. Follow my teacher's example and act like a gentleman. Women talk to each other, and the word will get around if you don't. Thank you. p.s. before I get accused of sexism, my rant applies in reverse..ladies should not only dance with hot/young/advanced leaders. Say yes to anyone who asks.