Thanks Quix and everybody...your thoughts/opinions are so helpful and any other comments are welcome. I'm really trying to learn and absorb this. But I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I am absolutely NOT complaining about leaders who are less than perfect dancers, or who are beginners, or who don't have advanced musicality. I will gladly dance with anyone who asks. We are all learning. My issue is that, in the venues I have attended, I would say the the majority of the leaders (not just a few) are guys who hang in little cliques with others who already know the same step patterns, and the few times they deign to dance outside their clique (i.e. with people like me) they get annoyed that the follower doesn't happen to know their sequence of patterns. And I fault some dance teachers for creating 'pattern monsters'. Most partner dance classes that I have taken focus on steps, steps, steps, so naturally, the students believe that's the important part. The teachers spend much less time teaching how to position your weight and body line, leading/following, connection, feeling the beat, etc. Aren't those things fundamentals that should come before teaching steps? Or do they just assume that even a beginner knows those things already? I sure didn't and I am working on it. That's why I mentioned my tango class because they are focusing on those fundamentals and I think it makes the learning process a lot easier.