Dancers Anonymous > Wedding Gift Ideas for couples age 35+

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by ChaChaMama, May 3, 2012.

  1. ChaChaMama

    ChaChaMama Well-Known Member

    My sister is getting married soon. She is 38, and the groom is 40. They have already lived together for around 4-5 years, so they don't need some of the things that a younger, less established couple might not yet have.

    When I think of gifts that might actually be appreciated, I was thinking maybe some kind of a gift card for travel or shares of stock in Apple (they love Apple products). Do you think that is that too impersonal, though?

    I'm thinking of spending around $500. I think.
  2. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    not sure whether you are looking to purchase one gift or several totalling $500....but my habit with older couples has been things that they can do, restuarant, games, travel (as you noted), dance lessons :) to stock...I think you have to know them well enough to know whether or not that would float their boat...I have some relatives who would appreciate that and some who would be like; "WT....", smphony...I am sure your ideas are fine...just throwing out a few more
  3. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I got married when I'd already had my own place ... 10? 12? years and he'd been on his own even longer. Bric-a-brac? Not so much. I like the idea of the gift card or stock.

    OTOH. Has your sister registered anywhere? When I got married (at a ripe old age -- not 38, but still) I still had the romantic notion of registering for china etc (Lenox Federal Cobalt -- out of print, but still available, in case anyone here wants to gift me *grin* )

    My most appreciated wedding gifts were the gift cards I received that enabled me to get all twelve place settings, which I still have and use on special occasions.
  4. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    some piece of art...also possible
  5. mjnemeth

    mjnemeth Member

    Are they going to take a honeymoon? My stepson getting married and I understand the latest hot
    thing for showers and wedding presents is "gift card" from the travel agent that is booking the trip. So no not too impersonal.
  6. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    Never underestimate cash. :) Before I got married, I always thought cash was too impersonal of a wedding gift. Then after receiving a bunch of expensive gifts that I didn't want, didn't need, and had to deal with exchanging, etc, I learned just how personal a gift cash can really be. ;)
  7. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Personally, I would just ask them (or whoever is close to them). They may have registered out of obligation and not really be interested in the stuff on the list, or they could be really looking forward to replacing the [expletive deleted] set of mixing bowls that you got years ago when you were broke and have never gotten around to replacing.

    Could be they would really appreciate cash. (I'll second Skwiggy's comments about cash. Useful no matter what.)

    I would be wary of stock, because that could have tax consequences and other potentially burdensome ramifications. (I don't know, because we don't own any stocks.)

    Some sort of gift certificate for things they can do as a couple is, I think, a brilliant idea.
  8. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    We registered at the traditional store locations... because my mother insisted. But, after merging two fully stocked adult homes, the LAST thing I want is to clutter our house with more pots and pans and nicknacks. My husband-to-be would rather have cash that we can put towards experiences.... honeymoon, trips and vacations, hiking gear... I am really hoping for the Lowes Gift cards, since we just bought a house and I have lots of things I want to work on.

    And given that my fiance is a Police Sergeant we put a joke in the registry... but so far no one has spotted it, or mentioned it. We registered for black garbage bags, duct tape, shovel, rope, bleach....
  9. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    If they voluntarily registered for a bunch of stuff they don't want, they deserve stuff they don't want. :lol:

    Stock can have tax ramifications, but only if you own a lot or make a ton of money, in which case, having to pay taxes is kind of expected. And, if the stock loses big bucks, you can (or at least used to be able to) deduct the loss if you itemize, which reduces your tax burden, big time. BTDT.

    All that said, skwiggy it right. Cash is groovy. If it feels impersonal, a nice hand-made card may salve your conscience. If you can't make cards, I know somebody who does. :wink:
  10. madmaximus

    madmaximus Well-Known Member

    Oh Larinda, that is simply hilarious :)

  11. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Add in a 50-pound sack of lime and Dexter Season 3 and we're good. :lol: Oh yeah and a giant cooler chest.
  12. njdancegirl

    njdancegirl Active Member

    As someone who recently got (re)married well into my 30's, i too would say skip the registry -- no one really uses the waffle maker or pizza stone more than once -- and go with:

    Fun -- gift cards for experiences such as restaurants, classes they can do as a couple (cooking, wine, dance!), travel (a weekend away somewhere).

    More practical -- Home Depot/Lowes for home improvement projects; Pottery Barn and the like for home decorating.

    And would have no problem giving cash - then they can decide whether fun or practicality wins out. Take time to package it creatively if a simple card/check doesn't work for you.

    One other idea -- there are a million and one Groupon-type offers for converting your photos onto canvas. Some are pretty generic (though still nice) and some allow you to really get creative -- Andy Warhol pop art style, comic book style, etc depending on your sister and hubby to be's personality. You can use a wedding pic and do it afterwards or another nice photo of them now and give it to them at the wedding. Maybe along with the cash or gift card...personal and practical combined.
  13. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Seriously. Registry is not a bad thing, if the folks registering really do choose things that they want. It's not the gift giver's fault if the couple registers for a vacuum cleaner when they already have three.

    What I have done and had friends do, when I got married, was buy a gift card for the store where the registry was held. This was very awesome, because my china was $180 per setting at Macy's, where I was registered. So I had a lot of friends who'd budgeted $50 or $100 or whatever, just give me a Macy's gift card for the amount they could afford. I combined the gift cards and bought my serving pieces. Very awesome. I actually did want my china. Love it. Fought for it during the divorce. Not sure why anybody would register for stuff they don't want, but whatever ...
  14. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Personally, I love the idea of stocks as a gift (Facebook's having an IPO soon....) Practical, long-term value (unless they sell quick and get slammed by the 'short-term' capital gains tax which is about 30% and set to go up.)

    Were I to get married, not that it's at all likely at my age, but still, I actually WOULD want linens and housewares--yes, I have things like a coffee maker, sheets, etc., but since I'm single I have to pay for everything myself or get hand-me-downs from my parents (they don't have gift showers for singles) so they're not necessarily exactly what I'd want, or as nice as I'd want were there someone else in the house to accommodate. It's a chance to upgrade, and give gift-givers something easy to buy. If they're moving to an actual house, ie a yard, home improvement things, etc. then Home Depot and Lowes are your best friends (as is TrueValue or other such hardware stores.)

    Unless you're REALLY sure about their tastes, I'd look out for art. That's really hit or miss.
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I have a friend who is a lesbian. When she bought her first house, we threw her a shower/housewarming. IIRC, there were pigs in blankets an a tad too much red wine at that shindig.

    She's from Spain, so of course we had to buy cases of wine from Spain. Her life partner is from Japan, so we bought saki. Everybody got toasted. It was a blast!

    I think it's totally unfair that people who don't fit the traditional mold don't get free dish towels. Wrong! :lol:
  16. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    Yes, another good choice!
  17. skwiggy

    skwiggy Well-Known Member

    This reminds me of two anecdotes. One was while I was visiting the Netherlands years ago, there was a Dutch woman in the news who was going to marry herself. And she DID register for gifts! :)

    The other was that classic Sex and the City episode where Carrie is tired of having to buy gifts off of wedding and baby registries for all of her friends. She went to a party for one of these friends, and her Manolo Blahnik's disappeared. After having insisted that she take these expensive shoes off at the party, her friend felt no remorse for her having lost them and would not pay for the shoes. Upset about how much money she has spent on this friend over the years on gifts for various occasions -- engagement, wedding, babies, etc, she calls the friend and tells her that she's getting married to herself, and that she's registered at Manolo Blahnik. For one item only. ;)
  18. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I loved that episode!!!

    SATC on DVD was the last gift the ex ever gave me. I enjoy it, every time I watch. :wink:
  19. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    based on CCM's price, +1 to fasc's recommendation. a wonderful gift could be assembled along those lines...
  20. bia

    bia Well-Known Member

    I don't have any new suggestions to add -- there's lots of good stuff here. But a comment on registries -- I think it's a good idea to have a registry, because otherwise you end up with thousands of decorative cut glass bowls, and what good does that do anyone? (I speak from my sister's experience. One more reason it's good to have an older sister, so I could learn such things before my turn came around.) Assuming that the couple has put thought into the registry, things from it will be appreciated, and if not, it's on them. But thoughtful things not on the registry, like the things you're talking about, are even better. Just no cut glass bowls.

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