I had someone tell me a while back that it's pointless to challenge raw emotions. They are what they are, and there's nothing for it. To challenge whether a particular emotion is "valid" is like trying to determine if the weather is "valid"... it's a question that isn't worth asking because no useful answer exists. What matters is what we do in response to emotion. I may have lost the thread here, but I disagree that people who can always absolve their own actions are happier in the long run. The purpose of bad feelings is to teach us not to do stuff that's bad for us. We have a word for people who never have any bad feelings about anything they do -- the word is "sociopath". As I said, I may have missed your meaning; there's a big difference between accepting that what has happened has happened and learning from the experience; and simply denying that one's own actions ever have any effect on anyone/anything else.