Dancers Anonymous > Weight

Discussion in 'Dancers Anonymous' started by _malakawa_, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. Larinda McRaven

    Larinda McRaven Site Moderator Staff Member

    Buddhists talk of the two kinds of selfishness... the one that benifits only yourself and therefore no one in the end. And the one that benefits yourself and everyone in the end. They have names, but I don't know them off hand.
     
  2. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    yep... if you wanna know who someone is underneath, beyond whatever levels of "control" they're evoking, watch what they do when the adrenaline flows. do they lash out physically or emotionally? do they attack? do they lie? do they run? it's a powerful litmus test.

    a good example is parents with their children...when they become enraged, do they hit or emotionally abuse their kids? either you have a core value of gentleness & respect, of you don't. a superficial "nice-to-have" value isn't going to get a parent through childhood without some form of abuse or attack.

    i'm thinking back to my mafia drama, as well...which was coupled at the time with many layers of other drama & attack: child custody & child support disputes, lack of ability to get help i needed, poverty...i was very sick with systemic lyme at the time as well. i could not have been more under seige on every level. but i chose not to attack, i chose not to run or lie or compromise my core values of integrity. i waded through a helluvalotta fisherman's net to process & take responsibility for whatever was there to take responsibility for on my side. but i still took action on the outside & held others accountable for their ill behaviour -- that's the paradox of taking that approach. and when those knots get worked out...they're worked out. you don't have to go un-tangle them again, unless you have allowed them to tangle once more.
     
  3. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    aw...that's so nice.:grin:

    heh, yep, we all know those moments...

    when i find myself in those moments (usually more self-attacking, in my case, but...meh...all the same), i'm usually reminded of something my youngest said once:

    "i'm not the best version of myself right now."
     
  4. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    i remember reading these and thinking that it may not be possible for someone to accurately assess which degree of selfishness is impacting others to what degree, that there's a kind of intellectual arrogance in trying to categorize these.

    my ultimate thought about "selfishness" is, what could be of more service to humanity than to do the work necessary to clear the way for one's own light to shine unimpeded? what is more noble than fulfilling one's purpose, or actualizing one's potential? what could possibly ever be more generous than that? imagine the amazingness of such a feat... and for every one person achieving it, how much easier the path is for those that come along behind to do the same. i mean...what are we here to do but to learn how to shine our inner natures, pristinely unimpeded?

    but we can't do that with tangled fisherman's nets.:cool:
     
  5. Laura

    Laura New Member

    When my net gets tangled it constricts my heart and stomach and makes me want to cry and throw up.
     
  6. samina

    samina Well-Known Member

    that is a powerful statement. tangled nets are awfully scary.

    it's a good thing not to struggle when you become tangled in one. surrender, breathe, and pick a knot...

    *hug*
     
  7. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    oh...totally agree that the worst cases are are sociopathic, but they do often seem happier;)...what I was referring to with regard to envying it, was simply to say that to have a modest amount of that sort of sense of faultlessness would make life a wee bit easier...;)...but yes...I agree with you...just noting how nice must be for them
     
  8. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    sure...what we all are responsible for are our own intentions and our own actions...what we are not responsible for is how others take it...what they are responsible for is telling us how it effected them, if they need to...and what we are responsible for is compassion in the recieving of that information...
     
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I don't think so...b/c that pre-supposes that one can feel good about oneself while one has hurt others and that is not possible unless one IS sociopathic...the way to feel good about oneself is to endeavor to love others in the objectively good sense of the word, b/c IMO that is the purpose for existing...to love someone else
     
  10. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    there is wisdom...
     
  11. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    I suspect those who feel they can't detach themselves from an immediate negative reaction are MBTI INFP types. The emotional reaction comes before they can even rationally consider the input.

    Everyone has some preconceived notions of how one is supposed to react in response, but they may have more that they fall back on immediately, rather than consciously considering a situation.
     
  12. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    I think that is likely
     
  13. Laura

    Laura New Member

    I did that MB stuff and I can't recall my letters precisely but I came up as highly intuitive, empathetic, and emotional. Or something like that. I guess that explains some things about me, but I forget what! :)
     
  14. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    You're prolly an ENFP.
     
  15. _malakawa_

    _malakawa_ New Member

    hm, now when I practice I feel I'm getting more muscles. I'm losing body fat and getting muscles and my weight is the same. :)
     
  16. Laura

    Laura New Member

    That's excellent!
     
  17. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    TTIUWP </joe>

    :)
     
  18. _malakawa_

    _malakawa_ New Member

    I'll post some pictures with my new partner as soon as I make them. ;)
     
  19. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Yep, that's what happens. Muscle is denser than fat, so you can actually gain weight even though you are losing fat. Took me the longest time to convince Fasc of that. ;)
     
  20. _malakawa_

    _malakawa_ New Member

    Can anybody have problems with "love handles". I don't know what to do to get rid off them. :(:mad:

    My stomach is almost flat, but this fat on the side is driving me crazy.
     

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