What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

One of the most common beginner ( and at times, not-so-beginner) follower's mistakes is that she moves her hips too much. Any extraneous movement, especially in that area, that is center and quite heavy :) makes following less accurate, dancing of the couple less energy effective, and therefore more labourous, less elegant.

One famous old milonguera in her interview to El Tangauta said "Nowadays some women seem to forget that tango is a dance that you dance on the floor, with your feet, and not with your a$$" .

If you don't agree with that, well.... fine with me. :)
 
Lilly_of_the_valley said:
One of the most common beginner ( and at times, not-so-beginner) follower's mistakes is that she moves her hips too much. Any extraneous movement, especially in that area, that is center and quite heavy :) makes following less accurate, dancing of the couple less energy effective, and therefore more labourous, less elegant.

One famous old milonguera in her interview to El Tangauta said "Nowadays some women seem to forget that tango is a dance that you dance on the floor, with your feet, and not with your a$$" .

If you don't agree with that, well.... fine with me. :)
Click to expand...

FWIW I do agree.

The hips should be still, hip wiggling is "noise" or interference with
connection between the upper body and the floor. Neither partners' hips
should be loose, that way the physical communication can occur such that
the woman can respond positively to the lead and the man can receive
the messages telling him of those responses.

Back on topic, seeing a lady hip wiggling is a good reason not to ask a lady
to dance. Oh sorry, we're looking for the five reasons to ask!
 
1 - Beauty
2 - Dance skills
3 - Is the nearest available follower and the DJ is playing a song that I just cannot skip
4 - knows me, has noticed me and will complain if not invited
 
newbie said:
1 - Beauty
2 - Dance skills
3 - Is the nearest available follower and the DJ is playing a song that I just cannot skip
4 - knows me, has noticed me and will complain if not invited
Click to expand...

BTW #4 is a good explanation why new followers do not get invited at times. Ladies, see? it is not because you are too old, not pretty enough, and your skirt is too long!
 
When I'm thinking about who to ask, one of the things I observe is the woman's facial expression. If she looks like she is totally involved in feeling what her partner is doing, that's good. If she has an analytical expression, it implies to me that she is thinking too much. If she is talking to her partner or glancing around the room, that indicates to me that she is not paying enough attention to feeling the dance her partner may be trying to give her.
 
AndaBien said:
When I'm thinking about who to ask, one of the things I observe is the woman's facial expression. If she looks like she is totally involved in feeling what her partner is doing, that's good. If she has an analytical expression, it implies to me that she is thinking too much. If she is talking to her partner or glancing around the room, that indicates to me that she is not paying enough attention to feeling the dance her partner may be trying to give her.
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Interesting, I view the facial expression of the follower, more as an indication of how the leader is doing.
 
dchester said:
Interesting, I view the facial expression of the follower, more as an indication of how the leader is doing.
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Yes, that's true. I try to take that into consideration. If a leader is not giving his partner anything to pay attention too, it's not her fault.
 
Get your dance geek on and check out this scholarly article.

Here we report that there are strong positive associations between symmetry and dancing ability, and these associations were stronger in men than in women. In addition, women rate dances by symmetrical men relatively more positively than do men, and more-symmetrical men value symmetry in women dancers more than do less-symmetrical men. In summary, dance in Jamaica seems to show evidence of sexual selection and to reveal important information about the dancer.
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http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v438/n7071/full/nature04344.html

Ahhh, if anyone reads it, maybe you can tell us what it means. (kidding, sort of)
 
Well, I've never chosen who to dance with on the basis of her shoes. The only people I ever talk about shoes with or hear talking about shoes are followers, so I doubt it's especially high on the average leader's list of criteria.

Excessive bum wiggling (beyong the natural movement due to weight transfer) would definitely put me off asking somebody to dance.

My criteria would be:
1. Attitude - arrogant followers need not apply
2. Motivation - cold followers who seem to be there to make shapes (however technically good) are far less desirable than those who are there to enjoy sharing a dance (however inexperienced)
3. Posture - It's great if they can pivot without needing me for balance, although if they've got 1 and 2 right I'll care about this much less
4. Technical ability
5. Dress material - I don't enjoy the feel of artificial fibres. I remember one follower whose dress was commented on all evening by many other followers for looking especially good, but the multiple layers of artificial fibre rubbing against eachother as the embrace changed made for quite an unpleasant dance.
 
I kinda fuzzy on this hip wiggling thing... how much is too much? It may be distracting to feel her hips move, but isn't it equally, if not more, difficult to dance with someone whose muscles are not relaxed? If your pelvic and upper leg muscles are relaxed, your butt's gonna move. Having it very still usually indicates tension doesn't it?
 
Zoopsia59 said:
I kinda fuzzy on this hip wiggling thing... how much is too much? It may be distracting to feel her hips move, but isn't it equally, if not more, difficult to dance with someone whose muscles are not relaxed? If your pelvic and upper leg muscles are relaxed, your butt's gonna move. Having it very still usually indicates tension doesn't it?
Click to expand...

Of course, that is why in my post I italicized the word "extraneous". ;)
 
The way I choose is as follows:

If I know them
1 Because I enjoyed dancing with them previously
2 I have always found them helpful and friendly in a class

If I don't know them and I have seen them dancing
3 They seem friendly abd approachable and seemed to dancing nicely with others

If I don't know them and have not seen them dance
4 The shape of and way they hold there body.
5 I look at the shoes they wear. I reckon if someone has bought a pair of £100+ cif's then they have been dancing a while and take it seriously.
 
dchester said:
Interesting, I view the facial expression of the follower, more as an indication of how the leader is doing.
Click to expand...
Yup. Sometimes, it takes all kinds of analytical concentration to try and figure out just what he's trying to get me to do. Sometimes, things are just really not working out/are uncomfortable. Sometimes, there is outright annoyance (that move has failed the last three times you lead it, so will you please just skip that and lead something else!). Sometimes, the guy is talking, and you can't just be rude and not respond. As for looking around the room--sometimes you've got to for floorcraft reasons, sometimes your eyes wander kind of on autopilot--it doesn't always mean you aren't involved.

This is so much of why, for women, a lot depends on what leader "shows you off" if you're new to a scene. Dance with a bad leader, you look bad, you don't get asked to dance much. And the reverse is true.

ETA: That blissed-out state of tango euphoria is rare. I'd hate to think that how much I get asked to dance is dependent on me having/faking that look.
 
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