What are the 5 top reasons that make a man ask a woman to dance? Beauty comes first?

[dchester]

It is interesting to see that the Top 5 can very so much from person to person.

Everyone is different. Some people's dance styles and philosophies are compatible, and others are not. Some people dance primarily for the steps, while other dance primarily for the connection, while others try to do some of both, and some dance one way to some song and a different way to other songs.

That's why you get different answers.

 

[little hobo]

Wearing very tall tango shoes is a good start. They enhance your leg line, your boobs, and your butt. There are few men who aren't into one of those things. :raisebro:

I think this is the way to go about attracting gay men.

 

[Madahlia]

I have tried to look at their feet (not their shoes) to see if they are landing in time with the music but when you are concentrating on that you don't know what they look like and you only get a short amount of time to see this. I find when I do this I end up looking all night.

I would be obliged if you can give any other clues though.

Oooh, get over yourself! Just take a punt on the nearest unoccupied middle-aged lady who you've never danced with before and earn some brownie points. She's probably been eyeing up your technique for ages, as well.

 

[Madahlia]

Ant, I agree that in a crowded room it's often very difficult to evaluate who to dance with. If watching followers doesnt produce dividends I start evaluating the leaders. Who are the "good ones" dancing with? Who are they seeking out? This of course assumes you know which ones are the "good" ones and which arent...

Picky, picky! I realise it's the law of the tango jungle but do you have to rub our noses in it!?

However, you're quite right about many followers being unwilling to Just Say No, just so's they can relieve the boredom and restore the blood flow to their lower limbs, sometimes! One also has to attempt to justify the cost of admission and travel to the venue!

Personally, I look out for the guys consistently left on the benches when most people have taken to the floor. There's usually a reason why.

 

[Joe]

I think this is the way to go about attracting gay men.

Gay men like boobs?

 

[little hobo]

Gay men like boobs?

Apparently.

 

[dchester]

Gay men like boobs?

I think he was trying to say they like shoes.

 

[tangobro]

... In my opinion, it is not the mastery in dancing that comes as the first reason when a man invites a woman to dance. Rather than that, beauty/or a very short mini-skirt is the key point...

For me, mastery is not the 1st reason, but beauty/or a very short mini-skirt are not even near the list.

1- I've danced with her before & feel we are compatible for the tanda being played.
2- I've seen her dance with other leaders who have a style I admire & I think we may be compatible.
3 - She seems available at the moment & responds to eye contact.
4 - She does not meet point 1 or 2, but the music is too nice to pass up a chance to dance, she seems willing & approachable, and meets point 3.
5 - We are friendly because we know each other from workshops or practicas and she meets point 3.

 

[little hobo]

1. He thinks she'll probably say yes.

 

[bastet]

For me, mastery is not the 1st reason, but beauty/or a very short mini-skirt are not even near the list.

1- I've danced with her before & feel we are compatible for the tanda being played.
2- I've seen her dance with other leaders who have a style I admire & I think we may be compatible.
3 - She seems available at the moment & responds to eye contact.
4 - She does not meet point 1 or 2, but the music is too nice to pass up a chance to dance, she seems willing & approachable, and meets point 3.
5 - We are friendly because we know each other from workshops or practicas and she meets point 3.

I'm curious, just for my own edification and application for festival situations and so forth...

from what you imply in 4 and 5, you'd choose dancing with someone you don't know at all who is willing and approachable over someone you know from a class or workshop who is also friendly or approachable? That was how I read it.

 

[dchester]

I'm curious, just for my own edification and application for festival situations and so forth...

from what you imply in 4 and 5, you'd choose dancing with someone you don't know at all who is willing and approachable over someone you know from a class or workshop who is also friendly or approachable? That was how I read it.

To me, it meant that when it's a song you really like, you're not going to spend too much time looking for the "right" person, but just go for the first person who looks willing.

 

[bastet]

To me, it meant that when it's a song you really like, you're not going to spend too much time looking for the "right" person, but just go for the first person who looks willing.

Ah yes- that's another way to view it I hadn't looked at it. I had just wondered if people tended to be offput by people they meet at workshops or something...Instinct would probably serve pretty well there, since if they look willing they probably like the song too.

 

[bastet]

wrong place

 

[tangobro]

...from what you imply in 4 and 5, you'd choose dancing with someone you don't know at all who is willing and approachable over someone you know from a class or workshop who is also friendly or approachable? That was how I read it.

Yes. In certain circumstances, as little hobo said, I'm looking for yes. As dchester pointed out - I'm not looking for Ms. Right, I'm looking for Ms. right now.

When an irresistible piece of music starts, unless I've pre positioned myself to be near enough to a preferred partner to get the dance before another guy does, I'll dance with the woman that seems willing and approachable. Some of the women who started in this category are now on my #1 list.

Now, as for women I've danced with in practicas & workshops, I might dance or not dance with them depending on my experience with them at the workshop. If I saw them at the workshop but did not have an experience with them I might dance with them @ the milonga, but I'll check them out via points 2 & 3. The difference is I will be actively checking them out with the hope that we might click.

Note to OP - all above applies to AT only. In other venues I may give slightly more consideration to looks.

 

[LittleLight]

I think what Paula said does hold true some of the time but, I have also found out that some very decent souls were hesitant to ask me (early Thirties, relatively young where I dance) because "you're young enough to be my daughter". Aw....