Tango Argentino > What do Women Want?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by larrynla, May 26, 2009.

  1. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Actually, no, that's not what was going on at all. And I've never had a problem dancing what I felt in the music, that's come more naturally than anything else.
  2. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Amazingly, I only cottoned-on to that point quite recently - I'd always sort-of assumed hand resistance should be constant and very light.

    Of course, there has to be resistance with the hand for some embraces and moves - for example, how else can you lead a soltada? - but I'm too stupid to get these things unless they're spelled-out, in triplicate, for me. And even then it takes me 6 months to get it...
  3. hbboogie1

    hbboogie1 New Member

    The whole point of the exercise is to feel the resistance as you dance and yes it will change but never to a point where the leader is forcing you to move with his left hand, that would be arm wrestling not dancing. I hope the instructor that took all your cash explained that to you.
  4. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Unfortunately that advice simply doesn't work.

    There are some conventions - there have to be - otherwise it's not a dance, it's just making stuff up as you go.
  5. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    In my case, I was so caught up with the twin ideas of 1)keeping that pressure constant, even and light and 2)not stiff-arming my partner that I didn't realize how the connection itself could be used for various movements.

    ...then one day, I have no idea what was said differently or what I tried differently*, it felt right and things became effortless.

    *You have your six months, in triplicate. I just know that things can be repeated, ad nauseum, for god-knows-how long..and it's not until I'm damn good and ready to hear it that it will finally make sense. I could be the same words, from the same person...or different words, from a different person. It won't make any sense...until it clicks. Thank goodness for DH, who assures me that it can be pretty normal to have the feeling of just sort of banging your head against a wall until something clicks.
  6. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    Christ, almighty.

    Yes, I understand the point of the exercise. Yes, I know the leader should never be forcing anything with his left hand. Yes, my teacher explained things to me just fine.

    Some things just take me a while. I have about zero concept of body awareness. He didn't "take all my cash." I willingly and happily paid for excellent private instruction. To learn technique.
  7. hbboogie1

    hbboogie1 New Member

    Peaches I agree with you 100% I couldn't have said it better myself.
  8. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    I believe that this is good advice, but, it works best when, sort of like Peaches (and I;d bet mearly all of us) have put a huge amount of time, effort, and dollars, euros, pounds, etc, into learning, and internalizing some very basic things.
    I also believe, and am very thankful for, people such as the author of the book I have been quoting from. That would be people who have been teaching and thinking about dance for many decades, and are willing to share what they have discovered.
    The best teachers I have had are the ones that can explain what it is they are trying to teach, and can also give their students exercises so the can FEEL what it is they are trying to teach.
    Once it's been fully assimilated (It's always possible to have an intellectual understanding of something, but not be able to put it to practice. And it's also possible to have it "in your body" without the slightest idea of how it actually works.), you shouldn't have to think about it anymore.
    THAT'S when it starts being fun.
  9. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I thought that's what we leaders were supposed to do (make stuff up as you go). I was also told the fancy word for that is improvising.
  10. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    I would say right now, based on current tenor of this thread, what women really want is not to be misunderstood. :)
  11. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    LOL, etp!

    I think that when men and women finally figure out how not to be misunderstood, hell will have frozen over.

    Really, though, we just want it all!!! (With chocolate and/or wine and/or...olives, in deference to F.)
  12. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    I think we've probably discussed this before, but it seems that a lot of learning is stop-start.

    Sometimes it just takes time to assimilate something - even when you think you've "got it" yourself, you know?

    Which is why I'm not sure that "going to as many tango classes as possible" is the best strategy for a new starter.
  13. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Yeah, but only within the conventions. Unless you want to try a body-roll with double spin and backflip. Against the line of dance.
  14. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    OK, I see your point. Even when improvising with backflips and such, go with the conventions and stay in the line of dance.


    (Just kidding)
  15. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    See, I find that many women expect too much "connection," expecting to be able to use me for (re)actions that are still in large part their own responsibility.
  16. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    True, that can happen. But be careful to separate out what is the AT style of strong (body) connection which you dislike on account of the BR background, versus what is just poor technique.

    Perhaps compare the amount of resistence in the hand-to-hand connection to what you'd find/use in latin--assuming good technique? (I could be wildly off-base here, never having done that, so I'm just guessing at something that could be parallel. Feel free to tell me I'm a dumb-a$$.)

Share This Page