Tango Argentino > What woman can do to be asked more often...

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by spectator, May 15, 2007.

  1. bordertangoman

    bordertangoman Well-Known Member

    They would have a lot of trouble getting into something that small!
  2. chachachacat

    chachachacat Well-Known Member

    What if one REALLY needs a break, or the ladies' room, but wants to dance with you later?
  3. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I generally say just about that. I'd love to, but... And "beg" forgiveness, make it really clear that I'd like to dance with the person, and extract a promise for a tanda by the end of the night. Then I suggest that I'll find him for the next tango/milonga/vals...and I DO it.

    Edit to add: This can have advantages. I've turned people down b/c my feet needed a break, and I told them just that and ended up getting a wonderful foot and leg massage out of the deal. SCORE!!!
  4. spectator

    spectator Member

    Wow! you have some brave leaders...
  5. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I was wearing my newer shoes, so not nearly as frighteining. Now, if I had been wearing my old shoes...I seriously doubt that would have happened. lol.
  6. spectator

    spectator Member

    ah. yet another reason for the comme il fauts, they make the wearers feet look unnaturally attractive...
    On the comme il faut London Website they have a whole section for foot fetishists called "comme il faut diaries" it's almost pervy...
  7. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    I guess it depends on why you don't want to dance with them?

    Some suggestions:
    • If they're a perv, tell them "You're a perv", they don't deserve diplomacy.
    • If they're a stinker, then maybe a quiet honest word would be appreciated, as they may not know.
    • If they're a yanker, tell them "You hurt me last time".
    • If they're just a poor / beginner dancer, then dance with them.
  8. Dave Bailey

    Dave Bailey New Member

    Then you should prove it by going and asking them later.

    If I'm refused once, then I personally don't ask again in the same evening - I figure, I've done my bit, the rest is up to my potential partner.

    Can I also say that the worst thing someone can do after a refusal is dance with someone else immediately afterwards. Nasty...
  9. Tanguera

    Tanguera New Member

    I have been told that the only way to let someone understand that you don't want to dance with him and you never will is to say "No, I'm tired " and to dance immediatly with someone else. I never did it, since it sounds cruel to me, but I can imagine a few cases in which this strategy could be helpful.
  10. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    I don't think there is a way to convey "stop asking and piss off back to the slimy patch under their stone", without sounding mean (as that is rather mean).

    In any case, if you don't want to dance with someone, (and likely never will), IMO the best thing is to simply say "No thank you", but without giving any reason. We guys, by nature, tend to be problem solvers, so if you make an excuse, we might try to offer a suggestion to solve the problem in the excuse, (or try again later). The bottom line is that many of us don't take hints as well as women would like us to, so it's often better to just be direct (and it's less mean than us taking several rejections before we figure it out).
  11. chachachacat

    chachachacat Well-Known Member

    I hope we are all aware that it's extremely rude to say yes to one after saying no to another.

    I have been grabbed, by the host or a "forceful" pro, who are not even listening to your protests, but are already dancing with you. (Disclaimer-
    I dance all the dances, so this may not be AT behavior.)

    So, sometimes you are trying very hard to be polite to everyone, but it doesn't work out that way.

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