Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by 2dance with U, Jan 6, 2015.
as always, trolls never think they are the subjects of the comments about trolls...
DC, I need the banging head on wall emoticon.
I used to participate in an internet forum - can't remember which one - that had a unique "ignore" feature for trolls. The moderator could mark that person's posts as "ignored by all". The troll could see everyone's posts, as well as his/her own, but no one else ever saw the trolls posts.
So the troll had no idea why no one would rise up and take the bait and the conversation would go blissfully on without that poster. I've always thought all forums should have this instead of just banning someone.
Because I'm evil that way.
I can't imagine why . . .
OK, I lied.
Reading through is kind of shocking and sad I have to say..!
Things like: "really fat people showing up for Tango...Fortunately they leave in a week.." or "followers should be slim and athletic"... I have seen far too many people men and women who are beautiful dancers and do not fit the description above...Have you seen Graciela Gonzalez..? Or Carlos and Rosa Perez..? Or Mariano Chicho Frumboli( a few years back)? Or Aoniken Quiroga? and many more...that is not only ignorant but a very rude thing to say!!!
Having said that, when we think--leaders or followers--that it is always the other person's fault and that we are actually doing the world of Tango a favour being on the dancefloor, that shows an intermediate dancer's mentality, that won't allow growth..!
One can get injured if he/she is a leader or a follower, young or old, athletic or not, dancing usually with intermediate dancers who think they know everything and believe that the other person should consider it an honour dancing with them..!
Milongas are SOCIAL activities, if you wish to dance with someone, not because you want to prove what a great person you are, but because YOU really want to DANCE then DANCE!!! And in my opinion we should be choosing, in such social events, to dance with nice, elegant people, who make the effort to improve their Tango physically and mentally
There is always a balance. In tango often not between the men and women, but in the ratio between pleasure and discomfort.
Obviously men don't feel as much pleasure when dancing and so are not willing to stand as much discomfort as women.
If men prefer other hobbies, there is one option: convince them that you'll provide a good ratio for them.
(If you are not able to perform that: don't complain, no one else is obligated to do that for you.)
If men prefer to dance with other women, there is one option: be more competitive than other women.
(If you are able to perform that: another women will stop dancing tango later, however.)
To pay private lessons or dance cruises that you can't worthy enjoy is at your risk.
Like all other persons you'll leave tango when your personal ratio falls below your personal limit.
To become a female leader might be a solution for women who thoroughly like to dance.
I myself enjoy some tango-partners that praise my talent - however I dance and lead.
And I enjoy a not-only-tango-partner who tells me the plain truth afterwards.
That's a nice setup to overcome all those uncomfortable moments in the first year of tango.
But I'm 53 now - and not sure if I would accomplish that in the age of 64.
I'm curious, how was this determined? Was there a study done or something?
I wonder, too. I can imagine that it could be more difficult and discomforting at the beginning for leaders, but that may also depend.
Your point - I think that it is obvious.
Simply because that's for me the a coherent reason why they are so short-handed.
But it is also possible, that men have better opportunities to spend their leisure time.
Or that men feel more uncomfortable observed when dancing (not unlikely, admitted).
Or that it's quite more difficult for tango leaders (likely, admitted).
(But profiles counted on a popular german dance partner dating site are in a ratio of 1:2 - in tango as in ballroom.)
Is it obvious that everyone leaves tango when the personal ratio falls below a personal limit?
And so no gender needs to get envied or regretted?
I agree, no one wants to suffer needlessly, and when an endeavor doesn't bring us enough pleasure anymore, we quit. But in tango I am proactive. Not only I expect pleasure, I generate it, for myself, and for others. So, in order to go on, I have to maintain and increase the ratio. The more I practice, the better I get at it, the more the pleasure. And, in itself, it is an exhilarating process.
I agree again that it is not gender specific.
I hope you always invite obese people to dance, and many times during each milonga. I do once a milonga if they ask themselves.
Usually, they just sit hour after hour everywhere I go. It seems you admire them at a distance without actually inviting them.
Your condescension saddens me, even tho you are only a troll....
That is some picture of a distorted reality. I wish there were places where obese people actually went to tango classes and milongas. In fact, the closest I have seen to that were individuals only slightly overweight by medical standards.
I loved your previous message Lilly_of_the_valley ( I am sorry I am not allowed yet to quote you directly through the site..)But saying: "The more I practice, the better I get at it, the more the pleasure. And, in itself, it is an exhilarating process." it is motivating and inspiring and it comes to show that we should be able to dance with ourselves and within ourselves before we can actually connect to somebody else..! Therefore it might not be the other person's fault..!
A rather hopeful answer to the meanness above..get to know, understand and possibly love yourself first then you can truly connect to and understand others better..!
Enjoy the process of practising, of dancing, of changing, of becoming more you and then you will have the opportunity to share that with others and see maybe the milonga through their eyes as well!
I've only been dancing AT for six months, but so far I have not discerned any reliable correlation between a follower's weight, age, or perceived attractiveness and the pleasure of the dance.
I also want to say that I think Graciela Gonzalez is really hot. Not that I want to objectify her, but she was used in a comparison as if it were a foregone conclusion that the other follower was objectively prettier. Attractiveness is individual.
Here you go:
Graciela is straight - but he's overweight, isn't he?
Do you think she appreciates milonguero bellies?
Sure, I like to call mine a tango pillow.
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