General Dance Discussion > Who gets asked to dance

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by suburbaknght, Dec 9, 2007.

  1. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    and her, okay; continues to pay a professional instead
  2. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Generalist, stop digging yourself a deeper hole. You sound like a creeper.
  3. Generalist

    Generalist Active Member

    Judging by the comments I have received, denial is the most common response.
    Bailamosdance likes this.
  4. Generalist

    Generalist Active Member

    I doubt you have trouble getting asked to dance but if you are in a new venue it might help you initially if you had a pretty dress like that on.
  5. JudeMorrigan

    JudeMorrigan Well-Known Member

    It's been my considered experience that people notice and talk about the guys who decend upon the cute and/or provacatively dressed ladies like a pack of starved hyenas. It is ... not particularly complimentary talk. Being asked to dance more is not an always a good thing.
  6. Generalist

    Generalist Active Member

    I take care not to appear to be one of the hyenas. I start the evening off by dancing with a few ladies that are plain looking and dressed modestly. I like to target middle-aged or older women who are in need of a total makeover. I might ask some younger ones also but I will go for the ones that aren't particularly good looking. It's important to get these ladies out to the floor early for progressive dances like waltzes and foxtrots so that my partners can be paraded to all the other ladies in the studio.

    So, the pack of starving hyenas get first dibs on the cuties in the skirts; meanwhile I'm building a reputation of being a true gentleman. The ladies do notice who I'm dancing with -- and I'm sure it's mostly complimentary! :confused:

    After the pack of hyenas gorge themselves I approach the cuties with the nicest looking skirts and dresses. I'm always careful to wipe the slobber and foam from my mouth before I approach them.
  7. cornutt

    cornutt Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I'm thinking of a certain guy from around town that you probably know... :rolleyes:
  8. jfm

    jfm Active Member

    Who is this generalist guy and how do I make everything he posts invisible? Appalling.
    danceronice likes this.
  9. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    let's play nice...having said that...there is an ignore function in your control...take questions on that to staff we can stay on topic...thx
  10. TwoRightFeet

    TwoRightFeet Active Member

    Sometimes I wish I could ignore myself when I go back and read some of the stuff I've written in forums. o_O
    Purr, Borazine and cornutt like this.
  11. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    1 I am not one of the guys who runs over to any good looking thing, or even someone who is a good dancer and is in demand.

    2 I get the feeling that generalist is being knocked for writing about his oservation that a woman who dressed more attractively (and I WILL say that I would expect fewer women to notice me if I danced in a flannel shirt, work boots, and work pants, than if I show up in my norma western shirt, custom cowboy boots, and wranglers that "fit right," in fact I DID get crap form some young woman the one night I DID show up in a flannel shirt, which is pretty much the norm when amd where I grew up) gets more dances than when she shows up in baggy pants.
    There's a youngish, attractive woman who has been showing up at "my" place in a nice skirt for the past few weeks. It's obvious she wants to be noticed (but you all would probably say, not in a bad way or something, and maybe she's just coming from a "nice job"), and she's also put in time talking to potential dance partners.

    So, generalist, make room in that hole, buddy, if some people think it's wrong for a woman to pick clothes that make her look good instead of looking dowdy, cause I'll jump in there with ya.

    Topic of thread is "Who gets asked to dance."
    Generalist likes this.
  12. nikkitta

    nikkitta Well-Known Member

    There's a biiiiiiiig difference between wearing a nice dress or wanting to look good and purposely flashing bosoms and panties.
  13. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    and in wanting a woman to wear a skirt specifically so that it will blow up to reveal her panties....I am all for dressing nicely and totally get that it will generally help matters...though, as I said, outside of looking like one has slept in a dumpster, I can honestly say that I give it no consideration when I am asking
    leee likes this.
  14. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    Well, all the men here have stated that looks matter and sexy sells. If the women choose to deny this then their dance experience will reflect this. I am sure that some women have preferences for the men - I always see oiled bodies and tight pants on provocative pictures of men - is that the look that women prefer their men to have at a social, and if not what is?
  15. JudeMorrigan

    JudeMorrigan Well-Known Member

    Exactly. Let me be clear - I'm a guy, so if the ladies in this thread would like to shut me down on this, I would like to strongly encourage them to feel free to do so. But while I acknowledge that the topic of the thread is "Who gets asked to dance", I am unconvinced that that question is entirely sufficient.

    Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with the idea of encouraging people to dress nicely for socials. I certainly don't show up to them in ripped up jeans and a t-shirt. I certainly have no problems with the idea that projecting positive energy will result in more dancing. This is supposed to be a fun, social activity. And it's easier to have fun and be social with people who are having fun themselves.

    There is, however, a certain level of unsought sexualization that brings to mind certain facets of feminist theory. (Let me be emphasize the "unsought" part - I am not intending to engage in any shaming of ladies here. If a lady wants to flash her panties, it's not my place to judge. The short version of this post is that she shouldn't feel like she has to.) Trying to avoid specific terminology for fear of offending someone, the short version is that our society socializes women againt saying "no". That's not an absolute, and certainly can, but that doesn't necessarily feel like they can. As such, it behooves the gentlemen to not be creepy.

    Specifically tieing this back to the thread, I have to think that the majority of men who post to this board have had the experience where they were chatting with a lady with a social only to have them grab their arm and have the lady say something along the lines of "Oh God, so-and-so is headed this way, dance with me before he has a chance to ask me". Only to see that lady wind up dancing with that guy later in the evening after he had managed to corner her. I just don't think that absolute numbers of invitations to dance is necessarily the best metric to use.
    leee likes this.
  16. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    precisely...I would rather sit out than gain a few extra dances on the merits of my cleavage....and I don't know how many times I can honestly say that I don't weigh a guy's appearance beyond hygiene when I ask...will I appreciate a nice shirt and a clean smell? yes... but I would be horrified if some guy showed up with his shirt wide open and was oiled down...he would probably be the least likely to get a dance from me because I would be concerned about his intent
  17. Bailamosdance

    Bailamosdance Well-Known Member

    Then to you what clothing makes a lady want to ask a guy to dance at a social?
  18. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    again, for me, short of trash dumpster chic, most anything will do....because I am not going to a social for a 3 minute crush or a potential hook up...though I respect that everyone's goals are, anyone who is clean will do...if I were to get into what I find personally attractive beyond whether or not it would affect a guy's "askability"?...well...I'd probably be most comfortable/appreciative of a pair of dress casual pants and a clean collared pressed long sleeve cotton shirt....if a guy is attractive at best or not creepy at least, that is all he needs, in my view...since you asked
    Purr and danceronice like this.
  19. fascination

    fascination Site Moderator Staff Member

    and I would suspect that other women are similarly somewhat less interested in overt displays from men than some of what has been expressed here in the reverse.......
  20. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Um...ew. No. Decent-fitting pants are nice. A clean shirt is nice. Just like a lady in flattering colors and cuts of clothing is nice. A REAL key is "Are they Latin/Standard trousers? Is he wearing real dance shoes?" Because if the guy paid for those and a shirt designed not to ride up or look bad dancing, odds are he is probably able to actually dance.

    There's a difference between dressing to flatter one's figure and dressing to flash viewers, and between appreciating someone dressed nicely to encouraging people to flash you so you can perv on them.
    Purr likes this.

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