General Dance Discussion > Who gets asked to dance

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by suburbaknght, Dec 9, 2007.

  1. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Depends, is the red car a Toyota Camry and the black car a Porsche Carrera?
  2. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

    Why not red Porsche, it would mean Ferrari and Carrera all at once :rocker:
  3. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Other factors being equal, I think that the color that would appeal to me would be in the light blue range, like in the shades of cyan that we just studied in my computer graphics and animation class--including aqua and electric blue...
  4. opendoor

    opendoor Well-Known Member

  5. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    Well, point was do you look at a black car or a red car--if I'm passed by a red Honda or Toyota I'm not going to give it a second glance. If I'm passed by a black Porsche (unless it's a Cayenne) I'm going to notice! (Of course if the third car is an Aston Martin DB9, it don't matter WHAT color it is, I'm looking at THAT one.)
  6. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    Wunderbar, opendoor! SpaƟ. Vielen dank...

  7. TangoRocks

    TangoRocks Member

    OK, another note in this colour debate.

    A red/purple/fuchsia etc dress might get you a lot of FIRST dances. For the second (and third, and nth) dance, it's your dancing and how you and your partner connect, the chemistry, and a whole bunch of other tiny details that are more important than the colour of a piece of fabric.

    Of course, if you are a great dancer AND dress in a flashy colour, sure, that might increase your chances of getting asked--but then again, if you are a great dancer, you'll get asked anyways. I guess I'm just trying to say that the colour of the dress is not a major consideration in the grand scheme of things when it comes to who gets asked to dance. Just my personal opinion, YMMV.

    Also, I'm with Ray--blue would attract me more than red or fluorescent green, and not just light blue either.
  8. Ray Sison

    Ray Sison New Member

    TangoRocks: :cheers:
  9. tsb

    tsb Well-Known Member

    would it be politically incorrect to suggest it would depend if a native american, asian american or african american were driving?
  10. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    Well, scientifically speaking, bright colors such as red, orange, yellow or pink are more noticable than black, blue, green or brown. Blonde or red hair stands out more than dark hair.
    Having said that, I personally guarantee that the color of a lady's dress has nothing to do with my desire to dance with her.
  11. HopefulNaiive

    HopefulNaiive Member

    I don't dance much socially anymore, but this subject interests me. When then, when I was a total beginner and was going to parties once a week, it always puzzled me that one evening I would be dancing a lot, and next week - almost not at all. I made few correlations:
    1. When I cut my hair short, I was asked less
    2. When there was a class before the party, I was asked more and not by people were in the same class
    3. Smiling at guys and making eye contact scares them away, contrary to what some websites suggest
    4. Standing on the edge of the dance floor has nothing to do with being asked more
    5. Asking guys to dance is a bad idea, they will accept the dance, but you may forget about being asked by them ever again

    Other than that, why I was asked more on particular parties is still a mystery to me. I always wear light pastel-colored clothes, so red color is not an answer here.
  12. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I am totally biting my tongue here.

    When I am at a salsa club, I am going to get asked if I stand at the edge of the dance floor, but I probably won't get asked if I stand at the bar. The dancers aren't at the bar.

    I can ask my regular partners to dance, I consider them friends, and that's not going to scare them away. Some men are shy but generally it is a GOOD thing to smile. I don't stare at anyone and I don't need to "fish", I get asked because I'm at the same place every week and the regulars know me and how I dance.

    My advice, be a regular at the same place, and you'll never have a shortage of dances or partners. Going to a new place is always an adjustment. You shouldn't take it personally if someone who doesn't know you doesn't ask you.
  13. style

    style Member

    This is my take on this, if I go to a new place and I ask a lady to dance and get shot down, the rest of the night will be hell in getting a yes. This is the on the first dance of the night. But if the first girl says yes, then I will not be turned down the rest of the night and even have them waiting. It must be that '' you go first thing''.
  14. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    Wow. Who has the guile to turn someone down...
  15. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    I am intrigued by the tongue biting, but way too lazy to go back and read the whole thread.

    When I go to new dance places, I take my crew. And I dance. With my friends at the beginning of the evening and with everybody else when they realize I can dance. End of story.
  16. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    If I recall correctly(sans Google or retracing the thread), the OP was asking about studio/practice socials, which are a totally different animal than the Real World a.k.a. nightclubs and such.
    In controlled, 'lesson' type environments, people are much more likley to dance with all present, more or less regardless of whether or not they actually want to dance with that particular person or not. Sometimes the instructors even take it upon themselves to basically take two people by the hand and push them towards each other, just to ensure everyone dances pretty much every dance. Which you may or may not consider a good thing. Guys are more likley to ask ladies who they would never even dream of asking in the Real World, said ladies are vastly more likley to accept dancing with men they would never even ignore in the Real World. Also, those types of settings are pretty much the only way a female will ask a male she doesn't know to dance.
  17. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I think this territory has been covered before, but seems to me, this entire site is a discussion of dance community issues, and so I generally assume threads to be in that context unless stated otherwise. I don't see what the general nightclub pickup scene has to do with it.

    Most nightclubs/bars don't do partner dance-oriented events with the exception of country or salsa dancing. Salsa definitely has a club scene but every place I've been to, has operated just like a dance studio in terms of social interaction. Everyone dances with everyone else, most people know each other, and an invitation to dance is only that and nothing more.
  18. danceronice

    danceronice Well-Known Member

    The studio is the Real World as far as social dancing goes for me. I think there's a C&W place around here over to Niles, but in general, unless you're going to a CLUB, where you better either just want to goof around or have mad skills (when I was on dance team in college my friend and I went to a couple like that a few times), bars and that sort of thing aren't for dancing. They're not even for people seriously looking for dates any more--that's what et al are. Going out to the kind of bar that has loud music is more for people looking for hookups.
  19. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    Yeah, wow, I can only guess that "dance parties" are a different animal than where I dance. Wolfgang would call it "the real world".
    Argentine Tango milongas and practicas function pretty much the same as CW places as far as who asks whom, etc. in my experience.
    To many DFers, though, a country western place is almost a foreign country. (Just look at the lack of activity in that section of DF.) And, I know, CW is not real big all over the country. (There is a long standing dance hall tradition associated with western swing, which is different than southeastern traditions.)

    Before I go off on that tangent though, I have to say that I "eventually" respond to a smile. I certainly don't go chasing after women who ignore me!
    There is an art to this type of eye contact.
    If I've had a bad experience with someone, which is a VERY subjective, personal thing, they can smile for a long time before I'll ask again. (Usually, I end up confirming my earlier experience, but I'm not coutning!)

    And, yeah, I am much more likely to ask someone who is by the dance floor.
    If I dance with someone and it doesn't work out very well, other things influence whether I ask them again. Lots of times it comes down to who is closest.

    And, heck, sometimes women will ask me. Happened at Stoney's in Las Vegas last weekend, and we danced several times throughout the evening. And I did the asking after that first time. "You two step?" Sure do. "How about asking me later on?" Sure.
  20. wonderwoman

    wonderwoman Well-Known Member

    I feel like I smile at the room in general, and look open and friendly, rather than try to catch anyone's eye :)

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