General Dance Discussion > Why are male dancers so hard to find?

Discussion in 'General Dance Discussion' started by Dancer's Life, Aug 12, 2009.

  1. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    I can always tell when a guy is at an activity just to meet women and doesn't really care about the activity itself. I used to be in a volunteer group for singles and sometimes a guy would show up for one of the meetings and you could see him scanning the room to decide if he liked any of the women. If he didn't find anyone to his liking, (or if he did but the woman wasn't favorable in return), then you'd never see the guy again.

    As it happened I did date a couple guys through that volunteer group, but that was after being in the group for months.

    Wolfgang, you're absolutely right that single guys are often advised to take dance lessons to meet women (and the advice usually comes from people who know nothing about the dance world) - still, nothing wrong with that advice per se, it just that the expectations need to be appropriate.

    Seems to me that if you take up a hobby, it isn't worth investing the time and money unless you actually enjoy the hobby itself. I bet I could meet lots of men if I took up, say, fly fishing. But you'll never see me getting up at the crack of dawn to put on hip waders; it's just not my thing. There are always singles bars, speed dating and personal ads if the goal is solely romance.
  2. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    "No, thank you. Your hands don't stay where they belong, and someone needs to tell you this before you get slapped."

    This particular weasel is actually an elbow-t*tter, as we call it in these parts. Leads you into a turn, brushes his arm across the target area.
  3. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    There's this one dance venue in my area, where, some female friends tell me, one of the guys is known for his ahem, making inappropriate nether region contact. And then my friends ask why I don't go there to dance. :rolleyes:
  4. Albanaich

    Albanaich New Member

    The most ghastly thing about getting some Argentine Tango going in the dance desert that is South Cumbria is the number of desirable young women turning up wanting to dance and hopefully meet young men.

    While men in their 50's like me don't actively dislike dancing with 20 somethings, its not the way it should be.

    It feels like like we've been picked for the first 15 (Football Team) at high school - only we are all 50 years old.

    And there seems to be an age gap. Girls in their teens and 20's and guys and women in their 50's and nothing in between.
  5. j_alexandra

    j_alexandra Well-Known Member

    Girls in teens and 20s: pre-babies (often, at any rate)
    Men and women in their 50s: post-babies (ditto)

    Babies and expensive, time consuming hobbies generally don't mix, and that may explain the 20+ year gap.
  6. kayak

    kayak Active Member

    There is a gap in our dance community as well. I suspect kids are experts of filling up all freetime for 25-50 year olds :) Dance, like other physical activities, takes a good amount of practice to stay reasonably good at or it just gets frustrating to not be able to do any of the cool stuff.

    Plus, here is the US, our Boomers and Gen Yers way outnumber all other generations combined. So even if all of us Gen Xers showed up dancing, we would still be outnumbered.
  7. jennyisdancing

    jennyisdancing Active Member

    Absolutely explains it. I danced a lot in my teen's and 20's, stopped when I got married and had a child. Got divorced but had my hands full as a single mom and had no time for dancing then. So now my son is older and I'm out dancing again - and nearly everyone I meet has pretty much the same kind of story.
  8. I am generally a very nice person and I usually says what I have in mind.

    So if I think a shirt/pants/tie/dress/etc looks nice on someone I will straight up compliment them.

    I compliment people a lot during dances and focus on the positive.

    I like to look people in the eyes and joke around a lot with them.

    I am also a very touchy feely and warm sort of person.

    I wonder sometimes whether people may think that I am flirting with them.

    I am not a teacher and have no financial interest whatsoever.

    I have a life partner and a dance partner so I am not looking for either.

    But it is just the way I carry myself.

    What is it that you pick up as flirting ?
  9. wooh

    wooh Well-Known Member


    Maybe if you'd put a shirt on she wouldn't feel so free to flirt with you? :p
  10. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    hahah wooh. :)
  11. Joe

    Joe Well-Known Member

    Sorry. I assumed you were discussing forming actual partnerships of equals. My mistake. :rolleyes:
  12. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    Albanaich - Lucky for you, you're in Scotland, where 20-something means 'pre-baby'.
    In these parts, 'pre-baby' means 13.
    20-something would be 'post-babies' and probably post-divorce (1 or more).

    What I picked up on as 'flirting' were things like caressing, opening (my) shirt buttons, fishing around inside my shirt (which is why it's now gone....;) ) and similar things normally associated with flirting or maybe 'first base' as they say in America.
    Decidedly NOT standard practice or 'being nice', trust me.
  13. kayak

    kayak Active Member

    This is actually pretty funny. Sad and jaded as usual, but pretty funny.
  14. Terpsichorean Clod

    Terpsichorean Clod Well-Known Member

    That sounds more like sexual harassment. ;)

    I think most studios have some sort of non-fraternization policy. :)
  15. Gorme

    Gorme Active Member

    I assume this is from the perspective of the leader. I see an abundance of women near the top lamenting that they cannot find a leader of similar stature.

    I'm finding more of a lack of women in syllabus. They're either complete beginners or Open. Relationships must be very solid to get a woman in the beginning and stay together until graduation into Open.
  16. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    It's only harassment if it's not wanted TC. :)
  17. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Member

    The studio does have a non-fraternization policy.
    Hope, however, does spring eternal, especially among men confronted with an apparently interested attractive woman.
    (There was hope at the Alamo right up until the final assault.....)
    Such policies are also frequently broken, so in reality, it's just a sign on a wall.
  18. Albanaich

    Albanaich New Member

    Well, a lot of women, once they get over the intial social barriers find fly fishing and rifle shooting very rewarding hobbies. Women are generally better at casting and shooting than men.

    Her Majesty the Queen Mother was an expert fisherman, and the British Salmon record (63lbs) has been held by a woman for nearly 90 years.

    Women are inherently better 'top guns' than men because of their ability to take high G turns and the greatest aviator of the 20th century was undoubtably Hannah Reitsch - Chuck Yeager, eat your heart out.
  19. etp777

    etp777 Active Member

    Best shots I know, rifle and bow, are women.

    And watched woman I know nail clay pigeon with a slug (WITHOUT knowing it was in there. Her brother was bored :) )
  20. Peaches

    Peaches Well-Known Member

    I would have thought that slugs would be better for gluing things to a clay pigeon. You know, if you mashed it up and spread it on and let it dry after?

    Or did you mean firing it from a gun? Cuz in that case, it doesn't seem like a slug would be very aerodynamic (although I suppose that only adds to the impressiveness of the feat). If, in fact the slug actually made it out of the barrel somehow...

    Or was it thrown? Seems like they'd stick to the fingers...

    (Yes, I know what you meant. I've only had a little bit of sleep, but a ton of DMD, and I'm loopy as hell.)

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