Salsa > Why do people give up salsa?

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by tchaguito, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. tchaguito

    tchaguito New Member

    Why do people give up salsa for good or at least temporarily?
    Here are some reasons I came up with:

    -people who begin a relationship with someone who could not care less about dancing
    -Boredom. Few places to choose from, and repetition of the same venue over and over again (in small scenes, naturally)
    -Dissatisfaction for the salsa environment. People who find in it a dominant group culture, elistism and snobbery.

    What are your views?

    Tiago
     
  2. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    People who have a child... they have the tendency of leaving the scene one the child is conceived.

    People who have a relationship in the local that ends badly (if they blame it on the other).

    People who have a more demanding job and cannot go to clubs anymore, not to mention dance lessons - my best friend is like this. :(. But she goes out every now and then... not "entirely lost for dancing".

    People who don't adjust to the Salsa scene.
     
  3. tchaguito

    tchaguito New Member

    That's interesting, do you mean people with a hidden agenda (like for example a guy who is there just to know women)? What part of salsa do they have trouble adjusting?
     
  4. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    Example (from my experience): I had a new students, she seemed like a very nice girl (too aggressive, but helpful and willing to know us better). I and my partner have this sort of "group" of students and assistants and anybody can join it. We go out together (Salsa and non-Salsa related), organise parties and generally have fun. She seemed to want to become a part of this group, stayed with us for beers after class, went to Salsa club with us, invited us for parties at her place.

    Even I (who didn't like her at the beginning) had started to accept her and even like her. Suddenly, scandal breaks out! This mutual friend (part of the group) gets all angry and starts telling the gang how this woman has a habit of talking behind one's back... that she said all kind of bad things about people in the group to their closer friends... actually she "implied" more than "stated" things... and some other started to raise their voices and say she'd been doing the same in their presence. She was no longer welcome. We didn't throw her out (as she deserved) and preferred to give her the cold shoulder. She gave up coming to the lessons first and then even calling us. We hardly ever saw her again. She's not going out with us nowadays anymore.
     
  5. tchaguito

    tchaguito New Member

    Wow, I've never seen people like that so far... that's a case study...
     
  6. nikita

    nikita New Member

    A tiring job might be a very good excuse for a while. Sometimes things just doesn´t fit together :?
     
  7. tj

    tj New Member

    Welcome to DF, Nikita!

    In some ways, people get bored with salsa, too. Just like someone can get bored with any hobby.
     
  8. brujo

    brujo New Member

    no no no no no

    you guys have it all wrong. People give up salsa because there is more groping in Reggaeton
     
    Janitor Simmons likes this.
  9. tchaguito

    tchaguito New Member

    But isn't salsa less prone to boredom than a conventional hobby?
     
  10. tj

    tj New Member

    I'd say it depends on the individual... (note that since we're pretty fanatical about our salsa passion, we'll be more likely to stick thru with it)
     
  11. nikita

    nikita New Member

    I don´t know how to explain. I think for people, for which salsa is just a hobby- they will disappear sooner or later from the scene. The moment they found something else.
    For me salsa is passion, attitude, a way to express my life.. I really can't imagine any reason, do stop dancing salsa completely.
    Short breaks sometimes are not to avoid. Job, health, kids...But it's temporary.
     
  12. dTas

    dTas New Member

    from my experience there are certain "dance groups"...

    Salsa, WCS, AT, Lindy, Ballroom (there may be more)

    people who like Salsa, WCS, AT, Lindy really like to stick to that genre. they may move in and out of the others but generally return back to that dance (or form of dancing).

    Ballroom dancers get bored with just one dance and like to mix it up between several forms of dancing that may or may not include Salsa, WCS, AT, and Lindy.

    i for one get bored dancing one style of dance all night long. if i hear latin music over and over i like to have it broken up with some "American" music (Blues, Rock, whatever) but the same goes the other way... if all night is one foxtrot after another i really welcome a Salsa or ChaCha to break up the monotony.
     
  13. djpatricio

    djpatricio New Member

    That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Well said, Nikita! People, for whom salsa is as I have said before, a way of life and a way in which to view the world and your place in it, don't usually give it up. People who see it as a neat little hobby will sooner or later give it up and move on, and that's fine too. Hobbyists don't usually get too deeply into the musical aspects of salsa, just the dancing, the mechanical aspects. I don't think less of those people, it is what it is, salsa is whatever you want it to be for yourself.

    But, I think salsa is like flamenco in that certain people are called to it, in almost a spiritual way. It's something you are born with. In flamenco, it's called the "duende". You either have it or you don't. Here's a definition of duende lifted from a flamenco website:

    "The mysterious and indescribable spell or trance of cante, dance or the playing of the guitar". This rather poetic expression tries to describe the power or magic which is assumed to be essential to flamenco"

    Well, there is no test to see if you have the duende, it is evident in your actions, in your passion, in everything you do. If you don't have the salsa duende you can still feel it's magic, you can still enjoy it, but then you will probably move on one day. I personally think that those that do have the salsa duende never give it up. Even I was paralyzed, god forbid, one day, I still wouldn't give it up, because it lives inside me. For people that have the salsa duende, they don't just have passion for only the dance aspect of salsa, or just the music part, they have a lust for every part of salsa, dance, music, cultural, spiritual, everything. People who integrate all these different parts into their lives are not prone to giving up salsa, for any reason.
     
  14. msjanemas

    msjanemas New Member

    Like Squirrel suggested, I left the scene because I had a child. The Latin Music scene is intoxicating. It's a long life passion that intensifies in the beginning but gradually decreases with responsiblities, life choices and locality. I spent 13 years in the scene, left, and after raising my kid, I return for a visit only to see how different the scene has become. People no longer dance with anyone. Everyone is a professional so to speak, and the lifestyle was gone, replaced by competition and spandex. The music scene has it's cycles and era formed by each new generation. What is boring to someone like me can be exciting to a 20 year old. And I'm only in my 40s. A lot of my reasons for not going out was stated on another thread..it was having to do with the sitting arrangements at a nightclub. I refuse to spend over 50 dollars for myself and have to stand up all night long.
     
  15. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    The not sitting is an "American" thing... It is done purposely to keep people moving around and socializing with each other. "Forcing" people to do that which they otherwise wouldn't sitting down.

    In a latin country there is more emphazis on sitting than there is on not, for us latinos dance 'till the wee hours of our age, where as in American culture a person is "forced" to out grow the club scene which is completely different than that on a latin scene. It is comon to visit a repectable latin club and see people of all ages enjoying the night without all the tabloid material following them home as a 50 year old married american person would, it is simply not acceptable; latinos, we got to shake until we break it, whether our mate is there or not. This opens up a can of worms with the jealous type though.

    I think it fascinating to see the union of cultures in a melting pot.
     
  16. honeydragon

    honeydragon New Member

    I hate to say it, but I've been avoiding going out to salsa for the past few weeks. Right now I have an unwanted love crush from one of the advanced men in my salsa class and so I just started going there only with friends that knew what was going on as to avoid drama. A few other close guy friends in our group knows what's going on and they help 'save' me when he approaches me one-on-one and make it look like I am "with" him. He does this to discourage new leads to ask me to dance.

    I've stopped dancing with him since his first love confession when he told me I should break up with my boyfriend and start dating him instead :x

    He's real smooth and discreet about his feelings, but all my close friends there see it. Then I get emails from him saying he loves to make me angry.. :? so whenever he tries to hit on me or say silly things to discourage me from dancing with other guys, I just laugh in his face and act like his presence doesn't bother me. He's even gone as far as to say, I should dance only with him because other guys make me look bad on the dance floor. This really makes me mad because all the guys in my salsa scene are very sweet and very gentlemen-like.


    This really sucks because I used to be able to go there by myself and leave and go whenever I want and have fun and goof off. Now when I go, I feel his stare on me.. He's not creepy or dangerous. but just unpredictable and makes me feel uneasy.

    :-( but I'm not going to give up salsa dancing.
     
  17. timbafreak

    timbafreak New Member

    I've been staying away from clubs for a number of reasons. I hope I don't offend anyone, I'm just giving you my honest answer

    1. I love salsa, timba in particular, and there aren't many places that I can hear it. I do try other clubs, but I don't really have the passion for the long instrumental songs. I could sit down and listen to them, appreciate each instrument, but to dance to :?.

    2. Some of the men that dance Cuban style, seem to think that all you have to do is grind up on someone, and thats it. Thats really annoying when its one of my favourite songs and I just want to dance. Some of the men that dance NY style are so interested in shines and turn patterns, they don't listen to the song.

    3. The Cuban men in London are split into 2 camps. The ones that dance with black women and the ones that don't. The ones that do, seem to think that I should be grateful, and are forever trying to hit on me, and the ones that don't really don't even seem to see me. I've had 2 of the most popular Cuban male teachers turn me down flat for dances, twice. Even though they've seen me at every Cuban event going, have been in my chalet at salsa weekends for food and drink, I don't want to marry them, just a dance!

    I go out every Monday I'm in the country, and talk to loads of Cuban men, who constantly tell me what a good dancer I am etc, but will never dance with me (or any other black woman for that matter), only white women. Consequently, I end up dancing with the same people ALL the time, and they are fantastic don't get me wrong, but I'm bored, and it does nothing for my self esteem to left sitting around, feeling unappreciated.

    I thought of going back to NY style, but my heart belongs to Timba, and I'm just not a shines, turn pattern kind of girl, which is probably why my salsa is not going anywhere!
     
    timberamayor likes this.
  18. africana

    africana New Member

    wow, yes I've seen this too, in cuba, in new york, and just about any major city. And It's not just the black cubans but african-american men also. They seem to believe and act like black women are not "worthy". To some extent it's because there aren't as many black women in the scene as there are white/latino/asian women who can dance. But I've experienced enough to see that it's deeper than that

    And this kind of racism was a healthy challenge for me becuase it partly inspired me to be a great dancer, to the point that I CAN now ignore these men, and make them pay for their racism because I can have my pick of partners for the most part.
    And because of this differntial treatment, I will hardly ever ask black men to dance even though I'm African, because I want them to acknowledge that it is a privilege to dance with ME, so I let them do the asking...that is if I stick around (sometimes I avoid these guys anyway)

    This is a very deep topic, maybe we need another thread for it
     
    Caralyn and timberamayor like this.
  19. cocodrilo

    cocodrilo New Member

    I have been dancing salsa at home, when I have parties(a few of my friends know how to dance!) and at band practice and a few other public places when I feel like letting loose! There is no place to dance salsa around here at the moment, no salsa scene whatsoever. It used to be an extreme passion for me and I would like to continue producing latin dance parties but I cannot do it alone. I will still make time to go out of town for the big salsa fests when they happen, and to see the numerous foreign salsa bands perform when they are in Osaka in the summer. Having no place to go to dance on any given night is a real bummer! :(
     
  20. youngsta

    youngsta Active Member

    Some give it up because they just find it to hard to become comfortable dancing it.
     

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