Salsa > Why do people give up salsa?

Discussion in 'Salsa' started by tchaguito, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. squirrel

    squirrel New Member

    This topic has evolved a lot since yesterday... Why do you people have to be in a different time zone? All the action that I miss... :) :lol: ;)

    Now, I have had my share of problems in the clubs, as "a single, white female"... :)

    There were people who wouldn't dance with me 'cause of the way I dressed (too dressed, instead of skimpy thingies...), people who wouldn't because I refused to "go out for a coffee" with them, because I was not good enough, because I was too d@rn good, because I was not a Latina etc. I tried to change at first, changed my outfits, started to invite guys, tried to hang out with them as much as I could, tried to change MYSELF to adjust to their requests (Yes, I lost weight to be more appealing to them - AS A DANCER!!!:shock: :shock: :shock: I must have been mad! :evil: )

    Some people are narrow-minded, due to their own fears and they are going to remain like this until they can come to terms with themselves.

    Why bother caring about them? I've stopped doing that a long time ago! I love dancing Salsa and if no one will dance with me I'll take a girl and lead her! And if no girl wants either, I'll dance solo! And I'll train someone to be my partner. :)

    Salsa is a lifestyle to me... and I love it! It's made me happier and more relaxed!
  2. borikensalsero

    borikensalsero Moderator

    Agreed, that is why I tried to demonstrate to those that brag about "salsa addiction" what the term exactly means without the "mainstream" belief next to it.

    You ought to see the viejitos here chuckle at the dancers when they say they’re addicted to salsa yet all they know is 1,2,3 5,6,7 and because they dance better than the viejitos think they are truly more into salsa, as if salsa was a dance.

    Yes, some of us are totally addicted because the music does that, but that addiction has yet to develop to its fullness which is indeed more than just a dance and a club outing. Some folks are truly snorkeling but since they've never dove to never experienced depths, think of infatuation as love. I am not saying that they aren’t addicted; all I’m saying is that there is more to the addiction that they’ve experienced. As we know, there isn’t one thing we can tell a teenager that they don’t already know. Any time we experience a feeling it is the most we currently can. It, however, very few times is the most the feeling can possibly feel.

    Brujo, I’m in love with my girlfriend, every day I kiss, hug her, for 3 years I’ve been telling her that I love her, each day feeling more and more in love. Yet, I don’t think of her as no longer special because I see, kiss, make love, to her everyday, on the other hand that is that much more of a reason for me to see her as truly special, for I don’t use my mind to see her, but my heart and soul, just like I do salsa. The day I don’t see her that way I can assure, I’ll still think of her as special for how she until that point blessed my life.

    There is no need to believe anything from me. All I am expressing is how I lead my life, what my reality is. That a person needs to see to believe has no cause or effect on the way I live. Anyone can be skeptic to no end, it still doesn’t change that I lead a life that someone else doesn’t, and still I’m able to function where others have tried but can’t. An acknowledgement of my reality really isn’t needed by a third party for it to be real.

    I must admit that I did miss your posts Brujo, as much as we lock horns I appreciate what you bring to this forum!
  3. ArtsySalsera

    ArtsySalsera New Member

    [​IMG] Yes, I know. It’s that good ol’ Proactivity again!
    Being proactive about the situation and rising above the negatives automatically takes you out of the injured party/wounded zone. Being proactive saids that I am strong, this is something I love, and I’m not letting anyone take my joy away from me.
    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t give credence to narrow-minded people, care one iota what they think or spend alot of time worrying about this stuff. However since the question was asked, “Why do people give up salsa?”. I feel it’s good to give an honest answer on why someone might leave the scene. Talking about it instead of keeping quiet, (and I’ve for the most part kept it all to myself before now) might help someone else especially a beginner or someone who isn’t a strong person see that they are not alone [​IMG] and talking about it gives them suggestions on a course of proactivity other than leaving the salsa scene.
    By the way, about the LEADING.......YOU JUST GO GIRL! I’ve taken some classes on that and I like the powerful feeling from it![​IMG]
  4. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    There you go with those cool smilies again. 8)
  5. tj

    tj New Member

    I suppose another thing that makes people give up salsa is the perception that there's an "In Crowd" and one isn't in it?
  6. ArtsySalsera

    ArtsySalsera New Member

    [​IMG]Yup, I'm armed and dangerous with smilies and I'm aimin' to use 'em. [​IMG]
  7. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    That's another possibility. If being in the in crowd is important to you, it must get frustrating if they don't let you in. Does there really always have to be an in crowd? :?
  8. ArtsySalsera

    ArtsySalsera New Member

    I agree with what Lucretia and Macmoto said in another thread which I think addresses this nicely. I hope they don't mind me....uhhhh pulling from that thread. Lol. Yes, Pun intended. Macmoto also does what I and my girlfriends do 90% of the time!! She asks the guys to dance!!!! .:D

    Macmoto (from the thread “Not being asked Anymore” responding to Amrini and TJ)
    Hmm, I didn't realise quotas had such a negative impression. I like dancing with as many guys as I can get my hands on, and I tend to avoid getting monopolised unless I really enjoy dancing with him (either because of dance connection or romantic interest). People often avoid asking dancers who appear to have a regular partner (again, either dance partner or SO), and the last thing I want is guys avoiding me so I have to do even more asking than I already do! I also feel that many leaders -- good ones, especially -- try to spread themselves around, and I don't feel I should hog those popular men.

    Lucretia (also responding to Amrini)
    Amrimi, now I know more and this is how I try to expand my circle of regulars.

    I am trying to develop my own community of salsa dance partners. This involves:

    - changing danceschool regulary

    - visiting salsaweekends/workshops in other towns than my own
    (my scene is 50 km in radius. All these people go to the big town for dancing. But there are several different schools)

    - going to drop-in-salsa at a club where I know the teacher make the students switch dancepartner

    - going out together with salsaclassmates. In this way I meet their regular dancepartners

    - dancing with one special leader who makes me shine and feel like a dancing goodess. After a few dances with him the surrounding leaders looking at the dancefloor tend to line up for the next dance with me.
    (Don´t you know any leader who so great that you can "show off" together with him)

    - chatting with people I know and those who seems to know the people I know (i.e standing close to the ones I know)

    - giving compliments to guys who have a style I like - even if I havn't danced with them.

    (Once I actually did this to a guy I never had seen before. You should have seen his face - he got so happy. This was at the point when I had decided to go home so I felt "safe". He wouldn't be able to take this for an invitation of any kind. My idea was to "grow" a relation to him that would give me a great harvest in the future.)

    - chatting and talking to student at classes/workshops/weekends and telling those guys I like to dance with that I really like their style.

    I even challenge myself by speaking to those I really admire, whose competens is much above my skill. By speaking to them before I feel save to invite them for a dance later. I meat a person I kind of know - the guy has also some kind of relation to me started up in another place than the meatmarket. This makes me feel much more safe and content and I dare to invite them for a dance.

    My salsa scene is quite small and right know my strategy works fine. But I know other girls who also complaints about that so many people quit and so many new ones arrives. You need to cultivate/nurture/grow ( I cant find the right word) all the leaders you like. Like growing a business network or growing a plant. It all ends up in relations you have to take care of. Even if it only a dancerelation and not a love affair.

    I guess youre idea about hanging around in the new Studio is a great idea. Go for it!


    Here's the URL for that thread I pulled those quotes from:
  9. tj

    tj New Member

    Furthering this train of thought - what can *you* do about it? How can you make things not be this way? How can you change your perception of this being the way it is?

    For example, in high school, there was an "In Crowd". In college, there wasn't. What was different? How did I go about things differently?

    Same sort of thing could work for a person in the salsa scene.
  10. Sabor

    Sabor New Member

    whats an in-crowd..? and what makes them important for people to give up salsa or continue..?

    me thinks if dancing is not in your soul.. then an excuse to give it up will come sooner or later .. but thats ok.. we cant be all soul dancers.. or even dancers for that matter.. there are soo many other great forms of art out there.. with their own lovers and passers by.. many knid of people doing many kinds of stuff.. to some its for life.. to others its for a while and then search on for their thing..
  11. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member

    I do indeed :wink: .

    See pic here:
  12. DancePoet

    DancePoet Well-Known Member

    I haven't given it up yet, but then again, I've barely started. ;)
  13. africana

    africana New Member

    Well you can always infiltrate the in-crowd and eventually everyone is part of it.
    but what if you don't like the people in it? what if they are full of intellectual midgets? what if you can't hide your disdain?
    for instance I cannot stand gossiping and backstabbing small-minded people.
    I also dislike one-dimensional dancers who actually believe they are great dancers. By one-dimensional I'm talking about dancers who are not well rounded in skills and have no desire to become well-rounded - e.g. can do lots of patterns without actually dancing and vice versa..

    I have never felt unable to be accepted into in-crowds (it's pretty easy when I want it) but most times I dislike being part of a unit or herd and not standing out, except in situations when it's for "protection" or avoidment

    I find that in-crowders tend to see-through or ignore outsiders (they're invsible) unless they have something to gain by being friendly, a simple example is smiling and greeting strange men who are part of the popular crowd just because you want to be asked to dance

    To me that's hypocritic and scheming in some ways, I prefer to not butter-up people with the sole intent of using them. I just go ahead and use them :twisted: with their permission of course
  14. pygmalion

    pygmalion Well-Known Member

    Or maybe it's time to find a new dance scene, if you live in a big enough city ... :roll:
  15. tj

    tj New Member

    Along this train of thought - what happens if you (and others of like-mind) become part of the *In Crowd* but don't act like them? That you don't gossip or backstab. That you're friendly to folks who are outside that circle? Pretty soon, the *In Crowd* won't seem as bad, I think.

    Then they were never worth your time in the first place, and people shouldn't hold them in such high regard.

    Sure, egos (male and female) can be out of control in dance scenes...

    Well there you go! :wink:
  16. ArtsySalsera

    ArtsySalsera New Member

    I don't care about being apart of the in-crowd. I just want to dance with as many good partners as I can when I go out.
    I don't know what it is but I get some kind of high off of going and going and going like the energizer bunny. Of course this is danced with skill not mania.

    Usually when people see my/your genuine gumption/skill for the dance they'll adopt me/you because they see you genuinely love what they love.
    Especially if your style is similar to theirs.
    Birds of a feather / Kindred Spirits and all that jazz. They know you feel what they feel. Feel me?? [​IMG]
  17. africana

    africana New Member

    yea i feel you artsy 8)
  18. ArtsySalsera

    ArtsySalsera New Member

    ....and you know....
    I do believe I'm feeling pumped for
    tomorrow night....[​IMG]
  19. dancin/dj

    dancin/dj Member

    artsysalsera,i've seen your pic on a philly board,your pretty-u go girl and i feel ya too,we've never met or danced,i was part of the salsa crowd for a few years-i still dances salsa and once in a while go to a salsa venue-i know all about what u wrote and a lot of the drama,perhaps some time will dance. :)
  20. salsachinita

    salsachinita New Member


    This emoticon is priceless :D !

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