Discussion in 'Salsa' started by Salcero, May 3, 2006.
Massages work well...and from not knowing anything I'm learning quite abit.
Better to undersell yourself and be told "you're a big surprise!"
Not unless you seek validation.
My thoughts of underselling yourself are more from a humble standpoint and sometimes women are put off by a guy overselling themselves. (it can crossover to bragging) Better to listen more, I've learned.
But, who doesn't appreciate a nice compliment?
Some very interesting points made on this thread, although, it is mildy head-ache inducing!
Why not ...
Switch of your mind.
Stop chasing women.
Stop chasing anything for that matter.
Feel the vibe.
Smile some more.
Let nature do it's thing.
I hate intellectualism, though I'm very guilty of it too; a lot of the time I just wanna switch of my mind, have no thoughts, and just feel, and love, and smile. Have no need to be perfect, or anything else.
That's pretty much the state I'm in these days.
Yeah but that's not really underselling yourself, it's just being modest. When I hear about people underselling themselves (and being aware of it) I think of those who say certain things about themselves just to make the ones around tell them the exact opposite.
That's a good point. I should rephrase that to not selling yourself or mildly selling yourself, rather than trying to oversell. If it takes every last virtue you have to convince somebody to be with you and down the road some of these virtues are lost, then you run the risk of them saying "you're not the same person you once were". LOL I'd rather have some chemistry going from the get-go. Appeal to the intellectual mind later (hopefully!)
gimme a break
Been out of town couple days and I probably should read the whole thread before I start spouting off. But, here goes anyway.
What an attitude! It's a fact of life that the level attraction is often NOT going to be mutual. That's why there are so many songs about unrequited love. The words you use, "dead weight" shows an utter lack or respect for women. Just turn it around and those women you are interested might be thinkng about you in the same way. Pretty sure you wouldn't want to be thought of like that.
Africana, you are absolutely right. This is something I really hate about a lot of guys. The attidude that they are some kind of "player". I hardly ever take it personally when a lady I don't know turns me down for a dance. Because, generally they are being on the cautious side just because the kind of male attitudes that have been expressed in this thread. Sheesh. We'd probably all get to dance more if we didn't have to deal with the fallout created by these player-type attitudes.
Absolutely! The good old Golden Rule. Words to live and dance by.
Good thread! Disclaimer: I've only skimmed the past two pages, not read the whole thread. Not enough time. I still have to go pass out from the exhaustion of working this past week. :lol:
amo_dile_que_no, you seem to have this thing all figured out, from where I sit. Treat people in the way they want to be treated, when you can. If you can't, at a minimum, treat them as well as you want to be treated.
In my church youth group years ago, those were called the platinum and, respectively, golden rules. Platinum: treat others as they want to be treated. Golden: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Ah! I went back and read a bit more. IMHO, selling yourself only works with women who are in a buying or selling mood, IMO. Buying = on-the-prowl enough to listen to your sales shpiel (sp?) Selling = desperate enough to listen to your sales shpiel.
If I were actively looking for a mate, neither of those options would appeal to me.
These male attitude shouldn't really interfere with the dancing. Even if the man has a player attitude, but is good in dancing...good for me...if I get to dance with him.
It's off the dancefloor where one needs to be cautious and when one's emotions gets involved.
It does tend to interfere with dancing in that a lady that does not know you will often turn you down for a dance because she's being hit on all the time. I hear this from many of my lady friends. It's great that it doesn't interfere your dancing. But how about the guys that aren't the most sought out dancers, do you give them the time of day? We're not all Rico Suave, but some of us can still get around the floor and you might even enjoy a dance with us. But a lot of times we don't get the chance, because of the boorish behavior of these guys.
When I first saw this thread, I thought it was going to go in a whole other direction. I was going to respond to the intitial poster, that yes if you can dance, you more than likely will get an opportunity to dance with a lot of ladies. But don't think because a lady likes to dance with you, she's interested in more than dancing. Just because you may get to dance with a lot of attractive ladies, doesn't mean your going to "get" a lot of attractive ladies. Be a gentleman, enjoy the dance, and if there is some mutual attraction there it usually becomes evident without playing a lot of games.
So going back to my original assertion, if a lady isn't worried about being hit on by someone from whom the attention wouldn't be welcome I think that lady and I would both get to dance more often.
wow a guy who actually understands the stakes in this 'game'!!
Thanks amo_dile, GD44 & thespina, for making this thread a bit worth reading
dunno, if i say "no" will you persist? LOL
the long posts...didn't wanna read em...that's why i said "too much talk"
Well, foot massages are one time special offers, ephemeral and fleeting, to be seized immediately before the moment is lost forever; unlike my passion for you which patiently endures, unrequited, perhaps, but ever hopeful, undaunted by distance between us, undiminished by the passing days. ;-)
Quite the poet...Where's your signature from Azure?
The sig is one of mine, its part of a longer piece named daydreamer, which one day I will be happy enough with it to share, but that day is still a long ways off!
Separate names with a comma.