Tango Argentino > Why do you choose the partner you choose?

Discussion in 'Tango Argentino' started by Lois Donnay, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. Steve Pastor

    Steve Pastor Moderator Staff Member

    If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you're trolling.

    One approach here would for your teacher to talk about how you deal with this.

    Another approach, and apparently the one your teacher uses, is to continue to insist that you both learn whatever script you are enacting.

    You don't need everything in muscle-memory do something after your partner doesn't do what you thought she was going to do. While I agree with your understanding of improvisation as it is commonly used, you only need to learn to "improvise" one or two steps, or even a simple pause, or weight change in place. Those are things you already have in muscle memory.
  2. Cal

    Cal Well-Known Member

    Yes, you are there to learn for *you*, but I'd say that part of *your* learning should include how to adjust to others who misread you or are less skilled, and how to work through confusion when the unexpected happens.
    Mladenac likes this.
  3. dchester

    dchester Moderator Staff Member

    In a class setting, there are two possibilities (I can think of) for what the follower should be doing.
    1) She could be doing what you are leading.
    2) She could be doing what the teacher is asking for.

    If the follower is not doing either of these, then I would agree that something has gone awry. However, it is also possible that the lead was not correct, and you weren't aware of it.

    In any case, here are two possible courses of action I would recommend.
    1) Ask the follower, if she did those steps (that you felt were incorrect) because she felt that's what you were leading.
    2) Ask the teacher to see if you are leading it correctly.
  4. Krys

    Krys New Member

    One option could be go to a practice with a partner, and try to lead one (or as many as needed) calesita.
    When your partner do a cross, try to lead a choosen next movement (you could try go forward, backward, on the side, ocho ...) and see what happens.
  5. Blue Two

    Blue Two New Member

    Compatibility is important... in short, having congruent goals.

    To take an extreme example, if one person wants nothing so much as to become a pro in the next few years, traveling all over, demonstrating her technique, and giving classes; and the other would be happy with a milonga every two weeks on nights when he doesn't happen to have a language class early next morning, then the partnership is going to be under strain.

    Fortunately, my partner and I are both at a point where we are eager to challenge ourselves and make progress, but at the same time know the importance of a well-earned rest and focusing on other important life matters as they arise. I don't underestimate how fortunate I am to be in this position.
    Mladenac likes this.

    NOUS KAI SOMA New Member

    1) mood and smile. 2) dance skills 3) Appearence (TO be honest) For me the most important is the mood and the smile! Some girls complain that men do not ask them often cause they are not sexy. Instead of complaining and having a negative mood, just enjoy your night! This will also bring more dance offers! Also do not try to show off, follow the man.
    Lilly_of_the_valley and Mladenac like this.
  7. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    There are two (three, maybe) groups of women I dance with generally: women I know and have danced with before and who also want to dance with me; women I don't know at all, often visitors to our local milongas; and women I dance with once in a while either because they ignore me all the other times or give me the cold shoulder, or because I'm dancing with someone else. Then there are the ones I'd like to dance with. With respect to the visitors, I try to watch them dance before asking. It's not necessarily about youth or beauty, it's about connection and well you dance as a couple. There are far too many factors involved to summarize this into a convenient nutshell. (One could, of course, ask the same about women. Why do they dance with some men and reject others? It's not always a matter of skill or experience.)
  8. JoeB

    JoeB Active Member

    All else being equal, I'm quite a bit more likely to ask one who's watching the dance floor than one sitting in the corner chatting with her friends. Doesn't really matter to me whether she's watching with an expression of hope or with sadness that she hasn't been asked yet; if she's showing interest in the dancing, that's what I want to see.
    Head buried in a phone, could go either way. I may watch for a bit to see if I can figure out whether it's "nobody's asking me, so I might as well check Facebook" or "if I look busy, maybe nobody will ask me."
  9. katerina

    katerina New Member

    Followers have a say on this too though. Isn't that right? You can show if you enjoyed a tanda and want to dance again with that leader, and the opposite. You can also show interest to someone who you haven't danced with but you want to. Also, I learnt to say no after one year in milongas where there is no cabeceo. I turn down dancers with whom I felt no chemistry and our dancing was bringing me only discomfort, like when they hit on me in an uncomfortable way during the dance, when they talk all the time while dancing, when in a whole tanda they haven't followed the musicality of the songs not even once, when they pull and grab and throw you around, sometimes while hitting on you and of course there is litlle chance they have musicality in this way haha. Well leaders get to choose, but followers also! Maybe I am not on the right topic but it wasn't about leaders why you choose the followers :p

    So one thing for me is good manners and second hygiene. These are the basics. And then musicality, chemistry, height and the list goes on..
  10. ArbeeNYC

    ArbeeNYC Member

    Yes, followers absolutely have a say in this, and everything in your comment indicates this. i agree with everything in your comment.

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